Smoking pot in the house

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Dawn B, Sep 11, 2015.

  1. Dawn B

    Dawn B New Member

    We let our 20 year old daughters boyfriend move into our house. He has been smoking pot in the house as well as my daughter. She is the oldest of 7 and the smell of weed is going though the house and my other children are smelling it on a regular basis. We told them both to respect our house and not to smoke in it but they refuse to. Any suggestions?
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My opinion is to give boyfriend a pink slip. Why is he there, disrespecting your rules and setting a bad example for your younger kids? Does he work, help out, pay rent? Does your daughter?t is up to you as the parent and homeowner to set the boundaries and stick to them or they and others will keep walking all over you until you learn how. I know this sad lesson first hand. I am not criticizing you.

    If you keep him there most likely nothing will change. Even if daughter throws a fit, why should you put up with him in your house...or defiant adult daughter???

    My opinion is your house/your rules or your out. I know daughter will have a fit, but she is an adult now. There is no excuse for the two of them to sponge off of you. Jmo and big hugs for your heartache.
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2015
  3. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I agree.... it i not good for your younger kids to be around this and to see them disrespecting your rules like this..... you really dont want them to get the message that this is ok. So I agree tell them they have to leave.

    And I know then the hard part comes because they probably will not leave just because you tell them to. So find out what you need to do in your state to make them leave..... I think the first thing I would do is go to the police and ask them what you can and should do. I know from personal experience this is a very hard thing to do. When my son was 18 he was flagrantly violating all our rules and when I told him he had 2 weeks to clean up his act or he would have to move he threatened me. I left the room, cried my eyes out, drove to the police and talked to them and had them come at an agreed upon time when my son was not expecting them and they told him he had to leave.

    Just so you know lots has happened since then but he now is 23, is finally serious about recovery and is in rehab and we have a much better relationship.
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Hi Dawn & welcome,

    By "we" in We let our daughter's boyfriend move in" do you mean you and your spouse? If so, you might both want to be on the same page and first of all present a united front, if you no longer want your daughter and her boyfriend smoking pot in the house (or smoking anything, for that matter).
    There's nothing that kids can read so quickly as how to divide and conquer the adults in their lives. Your younger kids will see how this works, too.
    Does boyfriend and daughter contribute anything in the way of finances or chores to the household?
    If you told them both to stop doing it and they ignored you, they clearly have no respect for you, and the younger kids will observe and perhaps imitate. You must decide what you will tolerate. I'm sorry that your generosity of spirit has landed you in this position - I know how difficult it is.
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Dawn. I would be so angry if this was happening in my home. I can only tell you what I would do and that is to sit them both down and tell them there will be no pot smoking or any other drugs in my home and they were welcome to find other living arrangements if they wanted to continue. We did have to set that rule in our home and we did go through her room and throw out any items that were inappropriate. She also smoked cigarettes and we had the same smoking in the home.

    How old is this boyfriend and what were the circumstances of him moving in? Does he have a job?
  6. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi DawnB,

    How are you doing?