SO, iT IS GETTING WORSE!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Jen, Apr 4, 2007.

  1. Jen

    Jen New Member

    i TALKED TO MY PARENTS LASTNIGHT, AND MY MOM TOLD ME THAT difficult child AND FAMILY HAVE BEEN OVER TO THEIR HOUSE EACH DAY TELLING HER ABOUT THEIR WOES. THE BABY ALSO HAD A DOCTORS appointment, HE IS DOING WELL. MY PARENTS HAVE CAME TO THE SAME CONCLUSION AS MY husband AND I IN HOW TO HANDLE THIS.

    NOW THE PLANS ARE FOR HIM TO QUIT HIS JOBS ( I THINK HE HAS ALREADY DONE THAT, AND PROBABLY BY BEING LET GO), AND HER NEW HAIR CUT JOB SHE WONT START. HIS WIFE WAS OFFERED A CHANCE BY HER LONG LOST DAD TO MOVE TO CALIF. AND START OVER. TO ME THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM OTHER THAN, ANOTHER ONE WILL BE PICKING HIM UP BEFORE HE HITS ROCK BOTTOM, MAY NOT LEARN AGAIN.

    THE WORSE PART WHICH REALLY HAS WENT BEYOND WHAT I EXPECTED IS THAT THEY CAME AND REPOSSESSED HIS CAR LAST EVE. HE HAD ANOTHER CAR BUT I THINK IT WAS PAY BY WEEK, AND HE RETURNED THAT (ESP IF THEY ARE GOING OUT TO CALIF). ORIGINALLY THE CO. WANTED TO SEE WHAT THE CAR WAS WORTH NOW, ADN IF NOT ENOUGH TO PAY OUT IN LAWYERS FEE, THEN THERE WOULD BE OTHER DECISIONS MADE, THIS IS WHAT MY HUSBAND WA TOLD. SO husband GAVE THE GUY DIRECTIONS TO difficult child PLACE, OF COURSE WE ALL THINK HE IS AT WORK, AND HIS WIFE ALONE, OH NO, HE IS HOME. AT FIRST THEY ARE NOT AT HOME, THEN THIS GUYS USES HIS PHONE TO CONTACT US, AND WE YELL THROUGH OURS TO HAVE THEM LISTEN TO WHY HE IS THERE, ADN NO REPLY. FINALLY MY difficult child SENDS HIS WIFE OUTSIDE TO TALK , SHJAKING WHILE MY difficult child IS CUSSING, AND BEATING THE WALLS IN THE HOUSE. THEY HAD TO TAKE THE VEHICLE because difficult child WOULD NOT GIVE THE KEYS TO INSPECT. THE GUY FELT ENDAngered and appauld at what he heard for my son, and that he was not man enough to come out., no excuse but i am happy difficult child didnt come out.

    this guy did relay a message from my daughter in law that she has a appointment, no time given and would like me to come and get her today. i told my husband i would go but have my sister in law there for protection. Really I do fear for her, though I dont think my difficult child would hurt her, just controlling. She plays right along with him though.

    Jen
     
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    You can't worry about others picking him up before he hits bottom, you can only stop yourself from doing that. You are only responsible for your actions in life.

    let him move to California and be someone elses headache for awhile. I'm sure he'll be back before long, unfortunatley!

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change-you can't change whether he keeps a job, or loses his apartment.

    The courage to change the things I can-
    you can only change how you react to this situation.

    And the wisdom to know the difference-
    You have learned enough at this point to know what you can and can't change.

    AMEN!!

    Keep repeating that in your head, over and over and over again.
     
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Ditto Karen!

    Suz
     
  4. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    Ditto for me too.... Unbelievable!!!!
     
  5. Jen

    Jen New Member

    It even gets better. As I said before he went to the town my parents live in, not far from, and applied for jobs there through temp service. He had them send my husband a reference paper to fill out and send back to them. Do you know he listed it as my husband having this fictious business and that my son has worked for my husband from 02/22 to 05/04 no yr stated. So tell me all that you have read, what do you think is going on with my son? Seriously, the actions he has taken lately are so more pronounced, and his wierd thought process too compared to even a yr ago.

    Jen
     
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Jen

    I have to ditto about the serenity prayer.

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Really I do fear for her, though I dont think my difficult child would hurt her, just controlling </div></div>

    Trust me. It can and probably will esculate to physical violence. If it were me picking her up, I'd have all of the info in hand for the nearest domestic violence shelter and give it to her. But she also has to want to help herself.

    (((hugs)))
     
  7. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    What a mess, Jen.

    Thank heaven the California option exists.

    Whatever needs to be done to get them there, do it.

    Why the kids do what they do is less our business than how we are going to survive what they do. Once you have given the best advice you know, you have done your job. Your task then is figuring out how to survive the havoc the kids have brought into your and husband's life.

    And sometimes, giving the best advice we know can be something as simple as "I am sure you will figure all this out, son."

    Barbara
     
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