Somebody please just shoot me!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Nov 17, 2012.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    This is a major whine so be warned! From what I've posted already, you know we are on a major downhill slide with no view of the bottom. Lots of little problems (had to loan difficult child 1 money for a new washer and drier and glasses - he will pay me back, he is trustworthy on that score but, still, it puts me in a bind right now). difficult child 2's only vehicle's engine blew up; we borrowed money from a relative to buy a new engine but he's working so many hours he hasn't had time to put the new engine in. He's been trying to cobble it together to make it go a little longer but today it quit again. He's been driving my brand new car and last night he accidentally poked a hole in the seat with his pliers. He says he has a friend who can fix it like new, but still..... And of course his wife ran off with the convict and his kids. We think we finally located them but trying to get anything done is insane. Hopefully the US marshall service will agree to pick him up and take him back to Maryland. difficult child is still working through legal channels to get the kids back but it takes FOREVER! In the middle of all of this, my 98 year old mother fell and broke her hip and is now in the nursing home. So the new crisis is dealing with Medicaid to get them to pay for her.
    difficult child bought a house when he got married; my mother's name is on it as co-owner. That was partly done to keep crazy wife bi+c# from getting it in case something happened like just did. difficult child made payments and finally paid her a lump sum to pay it off a couple of years ago. We never had the title changed as you have to hire a lawyer or go to the title company and we didn't have the money. So now they want us to sell the house and put him in the street, even though he's the one who paid for it. Now, the problem is, I'm sure they are picturing a HOUSE: tens of thousands of dollars. What they don't seem to realize (even though I've told them) that the house in the shape it's in, in this market, probably woudln't bring $3000. They told me at the nursing home that you can have up to $4000 in assets. She has a couple of hundred in her checking account so her half of the house would still not be enough to put her over the limit. But how do I get through to these people? I"ve talked to one human and many machines; made no headway at all. I'm beginning to think I'm going to have to pack her up and install her in my upstairs (not sure how I'd get her there. I have NO nursing skills, all of my bedrooms are upstairs, she couldn't get into my bathtub, and she's crazy as a loon.

    I'm thinking of drinking a big bottle of something good and going to bed and pulling the covers over my head for a couple of weeks. Maybe if I act crazy enough they'll have me committed and I can let somebody else deal with this sh*+ storm.
     
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Call your local assessor and ask if son can get a letter with taxes paid, assessed value and market value of the home from the time it was purchased forward. They cannot kick him out of his home. They also cannot make her sell a home that is/was her primary residence. They can, however, make her "pay" the value of her so-called half before medicaid kicks in.
     
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    If he can show he paid her off and what is left in her bank is all she has left it should be worked out but may take a while. Can you have her sign a quit claim? Just really so much going on for you, I'm very sorry it's all at once.
     
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    The quit claim deed "might" not work as it likely needed to be done before her new circumstances. on the other hand (at least in Fl) you can go on the internet to the local property assessment site and "see" what the value is of the property. It could be much higher than the current fair market value but it can't hurt to look in the privacy of your home. I vividly recall how totally complex the rules were when my neighbor friend went into nursing home care and had me as her rep. Good Grief. I had to account for her every expenditure for years before she became ill. Good luck to you. DDD
     
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    (((hugs)))

    Can you have the home re-appraised for the current condition of the home and the market? (might lower difficult children taxes too)

    I know they can make her sell her assets, been there done that with mother in law........but this isn't just her asset, it is difficult child's and they can't make him do a darn thing, not even ask him to. The value of the home to her is half to start with as she's co-owner on record.

    I hope you don't have too much trouble sorting it out.
     
  6. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    When we were trying to get Medi Cal to do a placement for SO's mom, her doctor (who is also ours) was able to pull a lot of strings. He did hit a snag and the only way he could untangle the mess was to go to the office where he told them he was going to sit there until he saw someone (it worked by the way).

    Or call your local govt rep - they do have people on the payroll to help - thats what you elected them to do

    Marcie
     
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is one of those huge snafu's when an elderly person owns any property HOWEVER, they cant put the co-owner out of the home if it will cause a financial strain to the person living in the home. Now, to prove that. He should be able to prove he is the one that made the majority of the payments and the home was only in her name to keep the home away from ex girlfriend/wife because it was a family home. I am also betting the tax value is MUCH higher than the real value. They have the tax value on my double wide trailer as something far higher than its worth. In fact, at one point I had the only mobile home that increased in value...lol. I had to call the assessor out and make them do another assessment and have them explain exactly how a trailer can increase in value. I paid 40K and just how in 5 years it could increase 20K. That is impossible. This is like a vehicle, they go down in value fast.
     
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Send THEM the bottle of stuff YOU were going to drink......and a blanket (or lampshade).
    Once THEY are sufficiently intoxicated and wearing either the blanket or lampshade, sneak in, take pictures, have a few chuckles and black mail their butts and create a new meescht-storm......
    GET your sons house back, have your mother put into a top notch facility, get invited to the White House for being more clever than Black Opps, become head of the US Marshal Office, get that guy to find your Grandkids,
    Send the PITA too-old sicko boyfriend back to MD, send the bigger PITA soon to be or is EXwife to Chile to work in slave Labor for an intense extended period of time sewing flags for foreign countries in some back alley sweat shop until you figure she's got her head screwed on right, and take the vacation of a life time in (fill in the blank here yourself I have NO idea where you want to go with your dogs) and go buy yourself a new car, and give the new on you have with the hole in the seat to your son, and let him give the one he has to his brother who has time to put it together......

    check, check.......(mumbles) check......check......double check........OH yeah and somewhere in there Raoul comes peels you a grape, pours you a beverage, massages your shoulders, and cooks and cleans your house,

    Fini!

    ps. (add unlimited credit card, and fudge that will never add a pound, and bird proof windshield on that new car) ........now Fini!
     
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