The outcome with J. and what I did tonight to try to help and more

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm very tired, but since I'm going out of town tomorrow morning (with no puter) thought I'd post to those interested all about what ensued tonight.

    J. did come over. I stopped him before he could go to the room Jumper was in and spoke to him candidly about my problems, after telling him that we were not angry at him for last night (he was afraid we were). Since his biggest fear is being abandoned (you'd think this kid was adopted), I assured him that our family doesn't ever "dump" anyone and that even if he and Jumper decide not to date, he is welcome to hang out here and I would always talk to him if he felt he needed help. I explained that people outside of my family helped me...that my family was just too involved or did not understand. He seemed very grateful and receptive and even smiled. I gave him the crisis line in his town (which is different from ours) and told him to use it if he felt desperate and that they would help him know what to do and that he could also come here. I know he is terrified that Jumper is going to find somebody else (that started their fight last night). I don't know if this helped, but he knows Jumper and me are very close and I told him truthfully that she has no intention of ever dumping him, that he will have to dump her to get rid of her and that she has never been interested in another boy before (when I told Jumper what I told him, she was good with it). He went off to Jumper in a better mood. Poor kid thinks nobody cares about him.

    Jumper and J. had a normal few hours together (he has to go to school tomorrow, but she is not going to school...she is driving down to Chicago with the rest of us to see PatryChef graduate). We are also having our Chicago family Christmas over the weekend so it should be fun.

    A lot of people tell me I am a good "therapist" and I am thinking of going to classes to become a peer mentor. I have to go ten weeks in a row and get updated training, but I'd love to help other people who are going through mental illness and have not reached the point I am at yet. Tonight made me consider it more seriously. So many people suffering from mental illness don't know anybody who understands their plight. I remember hearing the endless "Snap out of it."

    Anyway, that was how it went tonight. I am looking very forward to seeing my oldest daughter, who had such a struggle with drugs from 12-19, FINALLY graduate with honors in the field she loves the most...Culinary Arts. And wouldn't you know it? They begged her to work the day before graduation. Being a pastry chef can mean you have to make five hundred identical cupcakes and it is very tiring because you don't sit down for hours.

    I'm so proud of her, I could burst. She looked like her career was going to be Prison!

    Sonic is coming. It will be interesting to see how he handles the long ceremony and the noise and crowds.

    I will miss you all! Have a no-meltdown few days :)
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I was just going to post on the other thread, that I was wondering if somehow you could let J know that not-dating Jumper didn't mean the rest of you didn't exist... that you still like and support him... You beat me to it!

    Have you thought about training to work the crisis line?
    (here, its a paid position)
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear, dear IC, one of my favorites here (but there are many), thank you. This kid had his mother leave him and then this stepmother, whom he's known since eight as his ONLY mother, is just not acting like most women act. usually the men can be remote, but Mom makes up for it. She does not. So I decided to step in and be a surrogate mom, at least when he needs me to be. He seemed to appreciate it!
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Good for you MWM. As for the peer mentor thing, GO FOR IT!! Ever heard of the phrase "there's a reason for everything"? Well, whatcha waitin for woman?!? Just DO IT! I am so very proud of you for the role you are playing with J and everyone else you come into contact with (yes, me included). You ARE good at it. Just DO IT!!!!!!
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, TaeDo, I believe, in a very religious sense, that there is a reason for everything that happens. If it is at all possible for me to make the Thursday night meetings (which happen to coincide with Jumper's basketball games), I will go unless there is another class later in the year that is closer (I can barely find my way around the block and this is about 45 minutes away). I'm one of those people who loves to help other people and certainly so many have helped me that I want to give it back. I also think I'd enjoy it too, even if it is all voluntary. TYVM for the encouragement!
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Pam, I almost took those classes to become the peer mentor but I didnt because I couldnt afford to make the money they would pay me. It would put me over the amount to get medicaid and I need the medicaid more than I need the money. Sad isnt it? I think I would have enjoyed the position. I asked about doing it as a volunteer position but they said no. I think you would like it. It would probably supplement your disability well.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Janet, the system is SO goofy. I can't make much either or I lose Medicaid. I'm going to try to become a peer volunteer. They do have them here. I already have a part-time job in which I make very little because of Medicaid and Disability. I hear you loud and clear.
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I am sure you are gone by now, Hope your trip is sooooo wonderful. do you get to eat the cupcakes?

    I too think you should go for the mentoring thing. You have so much life experience to share. Your heart is made for it.