I feel like the weakest person on here !!! I have been dealing with my Difficult Child for over 20 plus years, and I must just never get it. I go for spurts without talking to her, the last spurt was 2 years. Then she slowly maneuvers her way back into my life, and is soooo sweet and nice and I always think, "she's changed this time" but as time goes on and her life starts going downhill, then she starts the manipulation tactics! This time I have been back in her life for almost 3 years,and she has a 3 year old that is my heart string and she knows it, so things aren't going well with this baby daddy so she wants to move in with me and I told her no, so now she hates me again and is verbally ripping my heart out! She even said she thought I would let her and her son move in because I am so close to him, so obviously she has been prepping me for this for awhile!! The ultimate hurt came today when I took him back home and as soon as we pulled in the driveway he started crying uncontrollably and screaming " I don't want to come here...I want to go with you" I know for a fact he is not getting physically abused But they are constantly screaming and fighting. He even said to me Mommy and daddy yell really loud and say really bad words! It breaks my heart!!!! I can't raise him, I am 61 and will probably have to work for 5 more years. I don't want him in foster care because I don't want to lose contact with him. plus it would traumatize him even more to be somewhere with strangers!! Then to top off my day her 17 year old was there when I left the 3 year old off, and he needed a ride to work,and had all his clothes in a bag and said he was moving out of his older brothers house because he hates his brothers girlfriend, so I asked him where he was gonna go, and he said he would probly just sleep at the truck stop and could he have some money!!! My god I could just scream.My daughters whole life is a mess and now from her dysfunctional parenting her kids lives are taking the same path, except for her 12 year old daughter,who she never sees because she lives with her dad and has a very stable life. Oh well 1 out of 4 will have a chance in life!!! The problem with me is I let it eat me alive, no matter how hard I try to be strong I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT HAPPEN !!!!!! And then sometimes I get people who say "Now she IS your daughter and if something happened to her you would feel really bad!!! I get so confused! Honestly if it wasn't for the 3 year old I could go the rest of my life without seeing her and I don't think it would bother me.....now I'm sure some people would hear that and say ...what an awful way to feel, but I'm so tired of getting abused by her!!! I know I keep repeating things over and over on here but I keep thinking myself to death!