hi to all,
i think it's gotten to the point where i need to leave my job. my little difficult child who will be 9 has more or less controlled my life which isn't her fault, yet her needs outweight my ability to get to my job.
it is a 2 hour drive from our home, and an hour or a half train ride away. unfortunately i'm a parlegal and most of my work is time sensitive so the balls been dropping alot. my boss is great yet i can't seem to get here enough. i'm not making enough, so by the time i spend sitter money, train tickets, lunch we figured total to be alot.
i'm afraid to do this because it is the one constant in my life for past 5 years. i've thought of leaving before wehn things with her got tough yet always stuck it out. yet it seems now that it's causing me alot of stress trying to get there everyday and adding to the stress i already have dealing wiht her docs, etc.
i'm also afraid because boyfriend and i aren't on wonderful terms it's been a bumpty road, i think partially from stress of situation wtih difficult child and older difficult child who is 15 and also just him certain major changes he needs to make etc. for it to work.
yet he says my stress level every morning is pretty severe between trying to get little one out door and trying to get to office. he thinks by me getting more local job i can pretty much bring in the same amt. and be less stressed closer to difficult child both of them.
i feel in my heart it's the right thing to do yet i'm petrified and so afraid of making a bad choice relying on him, etc. yet i'm already relying on him i pay none of the bills he's handling all of it so i can swing for the new testing at columbia payments are working out to be 1,000 a mos. they just emailed over payment agreement.
so yup i've got alot going on like most of us i've been having rough time the job is adding to it to be honest. my head's not here i can't keep up with it all anymore. my paycheck is pathetic every two weeks after i pay sitter go food shopping buy train ticket. this mornign had to drive 2 hours here becaue there were train delays.
what do you guys think? i've come to truly appreciate your opinions on various things the supports been great thanks by the way
jen
i think it's gotten to the point where i need to leave my job. my little difficult child who will be 9 has more or less controlled my life which isn't her fault, yet her needs outweight my ability to get to my job.
it is a 2 hour drive from our home, and an hour or a half train ride away. unfortunately i'm a parlegal and most of my work is time sensitive so the balls been dropping alot. my boss is great yet i can't seem to get here enough. i'm not making enough, so by the time i spend sitter money, train tickets, lunch we figured total to be alot.
i'm afraid to do this because it is the one constant in my life for past 5 years. i've thought of leaving before wehn things with her got tough yet always stuck it out. yet it seems now that it's causing me alot of stress trying to get there everyday and adding to the stress i already have dealing wiht her docs, etc.
i'm also afraid because boyfriend and i aren't on wonderful terms it's been a bumpty road, i think partially from stress of situation wtih difficult child and older difficult child who is 15 and also just him certain major changes he needs to make etc. for it to work.
yet he says my stress level every morning is pretty severe between trying to get little one out door and trying to get to office. he thinks by me getting more local job i can pretty much bring in the same amt. and be less stressed closer to difficult child both of them.
i feel in my heart it's the right thing to do yet i'm petrified and so afraid of making a bad choice relying on him, etc. yet i'm already relying on him i pay none of the bills he's handling all of it so i can swing for the new testing at columbia payments are working out to be 1,000 a mos. they just emailed over payment agreement.
so yup i've got alot going on like most of us i've been having rough time the job is adding to it to be honest. my head's not here i can't keep up with it all anymore. my paycheck is pathetic every two weeks after i pay sitter go food shopping buy train ticket. this mornign had to drive 2 hours here becaue there were train delays.
what do you guys think? i've come to truly appreciate your opinions on various things the supports been great thanks by the way
jen