serenityprayer
New Member
I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I thought I would share what happened to me last night....in hopes of giving others comfort that they are not alone.
Anyhow...our family went to our neighbors house for the first time for Thanksgiving. I thought this would be a less stressful alternative for my difficult child & husband...since difficult child is in the process of become stabilized for COBD and my husband is not on medications though he swears he will get help soon (ha ha). Past Thanksgivings have not been pretty with our extended families for reasons that would take hours to explain, LOL!!!!!!!!!
So last night all was going pretty well at the neighbors besides some minor stuff. Until *cue the scary music* the neighbors brother hid behind a wall and jumped out yelling as loud as he could to scare my difficult child. Mind you...my difficult child does not know the guy...the guy is drunk...and it was so loud that people could have heard it ten blocks away. I did not know what happened until I saw my difficult child standing there in shock, then it was obvious. The brothers wife ran over and they both apologized over and over...she tried to console difficult child which was a joke cuz he was inconsolable at that point. He just doesnt recover from big scares like that! A few days prior husband accidentally stunned him in his room and it turned into a long meltdown. His night terrors, hallucinations and trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy feed an extreme anxiety of his.
Once it happened (after explaining to the brother and wife it was not their fault and explaining why he scared so easy) I walked him home..he was crying, embarassed and wanted to go home. After several distractions I offered, he seemed to recover rather quickly to my surprise and joy...and he wanted to go back. I realized at that point the medication he takes...risperdal is truly working.
Back in the neighbors house I was greeted by more apologies and difficult child was just fine...but then I could see everyone (in a discreet way) turning on me. I sat down to an hour conversation with my neighbor about how we shouldnt label children and how awesome my difficult child was...that he is sooo gifted and on and on.....a big lecture on how I overreacted. And I truly did not overreact, Ive handled these situations with grace so many times I can not count, LOL. I kept getting talks about how overprotective I was in a round about talked down to way. It was humiliating. And where was my husband? Oh yes...drinking himself into oblivion even though he had promised not to do it.
To make a long story short.....the neighbors got drunk, so did my husband, and I had to take both my kids home around bedtime, deal with a meltdown from difficult child, & attitude from my tween easy child. Once I explained to my easy child should could not be unsupervised at the drunk neighbors house, the attitude got better and we spent some quality time together once difficult child was in bed. The best part of the entire day, LOL!!!! My husband did not come home till 1:30am..he never called or cared about us...so typical on the holidays. I stayed up worried until 1:30 am too. So great for my chronic illnesses, LOL..I just have to laugh. NOT.
Needless to say.....Tis the season to be judged as a parent of a difficult child. A lesson for me not to judge others myself. So much for thinking we had a stress free alternative...what a backfire!!!!!!!!!!
I thought I would share what happened to me last night....in hopes of giving others comfort that they are not alone.
Anyhow...our family went to our neighbors house for the first time for Thanksgiving. I thought this would be a less stressful alternative for my difficult child & husband...since difficult child is in the process of become stabilized for COBD and my husband is not on medications though he swears he will get help soon (ha ha). Past Thanksgivings have not been pretty with our extended families for reasons that would take hours to explain, LOL!!!!!!!!!
So last night all was going pretty well at the neighbors besides some minor stuff. Until *cue the scary music* the neighbors brother hid behind a wall and jumped out yelling as loud as he could to scare my difficult child. Mind you...my difficult child does not know the guy...the guy is drunk...and it was so loud that people could have heard it ten blocks away. I did not know what happened until I saw my difficult child standing there in shock, then it was obvious. The brothers wife ran over and they both apologized over and over...she tried to console difficult child which was a joke cuz he was inconsolable at that point. He just doesnt recover from big scares like that! A few days prior husband accidentally stunned him in his room and it turned into a long meltdown. His night terrors, hallucinations and trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy feed an extreme anxiety of his.
Once it happened (after explaining to the brother and wife it was not their fault and explaining why he scared so easy) I walked him home..he was crying, embarassed and wanted to go home. After several distractions I offered, he seemed to recover rather quickly to my surprise and joy...and he wanted to go back. I realized at that point the medication he takes...risperdal is truly working.
Back in the neighbors house I was greeted by more apologies and difficult child was just fine...but then I could see everyone (in a discreet way) turning on me. I sat down to an hour conversation with my neighbor about how we shouldnt label children and how awesome my difficult child was...that he is sooo gifted and on and on.....a big lecture on how I overreacted. And I truly did not overreact, Ive handled these situations with grace so many times I can not count, LOL. I kept getting talks about how overprotective I was in a round about talked down to way. It was humiliating. And where was my husband? Oh yes...drinking himself into oblivion even though he had promised not to do it.
To make a long story short.....the neighbors got drunk, so did my husband, and I had to take both my kids home around bedtime, deal with a meltdown from difficult child, & attitude from my tween easy child. Once I explained to my easy child should could not be unsupervised at the drunk neighbors house, the attitude got better and we spent some quality time together once difficult child was in bed. The best part of the entire day, LOL!!!! My husband did not come home till 1:30am..he never called or cared about us...so typical on the holidays. I stayed up worried until 1:30 am too. So great for my chronic illnesses, LOL..I just have to laugh. NOT.
Needless to say.....Tis the season to be judged as a parent of a difficult child. A lesson for me not to judge others myself. So much for thinking we had a stress free alternative...what a backfire!!!!!!!!!!