It is an hourly process, some days are better than others. I thought he was doing much better and he was for one year, I always dreaded his phone calls, drama, drama, drama, mama fix it please. A ctually for a while I dreaded ALL phones calls, not knowing who was going to be calling about what. Then the year before I could tell the amazing difference when he called. I actually could talk to my son for the first time in so many years I can not even remember. I looked forward to his calls.
Then after about one year I could tell a difference in the phone calls. I tried so hard to deny what I knew was happening. It hurt so much when the drama started all over again. He had met a girl that was so much like him and the worse possible person in the world for him.
I thought all of that was in the past. I had to call the police to get the 37 yo girlie (I had met her 1 time) to stop harrassing me. Then he called and cussed me out in a phone message for calling the police. She is controlling, posessive, and factor in the prescription drugs with alcohol this is the most evil of people.
My heart was ripped open! I was not able to have children after my first and there were complications. When he was struggling I was right in there as head cheerleader until the very last minute. I now think my good intentions to boost his self esteem was codependent. We learn by mistakes!
I can not begin to even guess how much money was spent each time he was 'starting over'. I have also been in counseling with each of my children and myself for 25+ years. I believe in counseling!!!! But I also carried the guilt as all mothers do (the ones that love their children and do not know any better lol).
This was the first time in 3+ years he had asked me for money. He was in college (at 33) and on the deans list and told me they had a fight and she threw him out and he needed help to finish the semester, his professors admired him so much because they knew of his situation and he still was making great grades. I discussed it with his older sister and she said he is trying so hard to better himself. So I sent him a lot of money and he just kept asking for more. I'm retired and I was only going to help through this semester.
The truth always has a way of coming out! The girlie witch was harrassing me and I called the police and they gave me the number to speak with the mother (they were living with the mother). The mother told me he was not homeless he was still there, they party a lot all night and come home about 4,5,6, fight a lot, and he cuts himself and threatens suicide. He had lied to me and kept the con going for about 3 months. If the witch had not harrassed me and I had to call the police I never would have found out.
They had a fight 3 weeks ago and he Baker Acted himself and she was sent to detox. I am over it! He has had so many chances and there are many family members that would have a fit for me not rescuing my child. It's none of their business and I don't tell them what is going on. My daughter and my husband know and they are extremely supportive.
The con cut my heart like a knife, but I refuse to be caught up in his drama and lies again. He only has himself to support, as does your daughter since you have the grandchild. I have complete ignored the emails and I will never again give him money. I was always very generous on his birthday and Christmas. I can count on one hand the times he has even bothered to send a card much less know when my birthday is.
I do not know if my gifted child has mental problems, they were never diagnosed, but he is very manipulative and deceitful. He quit a job to move in with the girlie and go to school full time. Who did he think was going to support him??
I made a list of everything he had done to me and when I start feeling weak I read it. I am just very tired of this and now I am in control not him.
I also pray a lot! Sorry to tell you but the requests for money are going to be frequent after she leaves March 1. They will bleed you dry and not even blink an eye.
You can do it if I can! I still need the 'yes you are doing the right thing' because they will always be our child, but they are not children, and for some reason they think differently and think we owe them a living.
I envision myself giving him over to God and that helps me, we have zero control over this, it is their lives and their choices.
(((prayer for us all)))