keista
New Member
If anyone remembers, mother in law passed away back in August. It was presumed that I would be clearing out her apartment, but since I wasn't next of kin, I wasn't allowed access. I was really P.O.'ed because I had lent her several items that I fully expected to get back, but it seemed as if I wasn't going to.
At the beginning of Oct, I called the assisted living place to find out when her stuff would get donated. I had half a chance of getting my things back for a reasonable price or even a donation trade (it's the same place I take my overstock inventory to). While I was on the phone I noticed a page in her lease agreement that had eluded me. It clearly stated that I was the responsible party for clearing out her apartment. I brought that up and asked if that had been changed. No it hadn't. OK, they will send a new notice out including me that descendants are to make arrangements to come get whatever they want.
Now don't get confused, but this becomes part of the story. Last week was husband's birthday. I had the kids give him a call, (to his cell phone, by the way since tha't the only # we have for him) but he didn't answer. It went to voicemail. Hmmmmmmmmmm Not surprised. Checked his ID activity on a site we both used to play games on. He hadn't made any moves all day long. VERY odd. I guess they went on a day trip for his birthday. He called the kids back the next day and they were able to wish him a happy birthday and chat for a few minutes.
So, today was my appointment to get my stuff. Got almost all of what I was looking for. A chest of drawers (vintage that I got at auction for $7), the TV I let her use and the bedside table that matches the one I kept. The phone apparently died
because she had purchased a new one. I also took her checks so I could destroy them properly and close out her accounts. When we opened the account, I was listed as POA and beneficiary. She had tons of other paperwork, but none of it was to be found.
As I was leaving, I asked if they had made any contact with the son in CA. The number I had for him was no longer his number, so I was curious if he had been informed. Yes, she said. He didn't want anything and neither did his sister who is also on the West Coast. She went on to say that "the other one was here last week." WTF???????????? REALLY???????????????????? Did she come alone? NO, she was with J. Seriously? Really? Are you sure? Yes, all they took were the recipe cards (ah, and all her paperwork, but whatever)
So, yeah. husband, who is accusing me of being an unfit parent, accusing me of blocking his attempts to see the kids, claiming he wants sole custody of the children, was IN TOWN, less than 5 miles from my house, and did not make an attempt to see his kids. NICE!!!!!!!! I was LIVID! BUT also see that this is VERY good evidence against him for the divorce proceedings.
I went home and unloaded the stuff. Called a friend to vent and then collected myself enough to check her checking account. It was still open and had substantial money in it. STRANGE. She was on SSI, but, she did cash in her funeral insurance, so maybe she was really making that stretch? Anyway, there was money there and 'they' hadn't drained it, so off to the local branch I went to protect it. So I got a rep to help me close the account and I started telling her the story. "Oh!" She says. "I'm the one that talked to you last week." ??????????? No, that must have been D. She asked for my ID and said "yeah, you are on the account. The other woman wasn't and I couldn't give her any info."
So all that money in her account? SS and SSI still made deposits for Sept and October and were getting ready to deposit for November. Since mother in law is dead, the POA ceases to be valid, but I can't do anything with the account without a death certificate. However, she was helpful and did everything she could do. Started paperwork to return SS and SSI money, canceled the debit card, and put a fraud alert on the account in case they try to cash a check at a branch. Nothing they can do if they cash a check elsewhere. UHG.
So, I called to find out about the Death Certificate, and they couldn't find her in the system. Woman had a thick accent, so I'm not sure if she typed the name wrong or if the name is wrong on the cert, which would explain why SS and SSI "didn't get the memo". so tomorrow I go get the cert, deal with SS and SSI, and deal with the bank. Oh, and she's got an automatic deduction out of her account to another bank - probably her CC, so I have to try and figure that out and stop it as well with just minimal information. JOY!
At the beginning of Oct, I called the assisted living place to find out when her stuff would get donated. I had half a chance of getting my things back for a reasonable price or even a donation trade (it's the same place I take my overstock inventory to). While I was on the phone I noticed a page in her lease agreement that had eluded me. It clearly stated that I was the responsible party for clearing out her apartment. I brought that up and asked if that had been changed. No it hadn't. OK, they will send a new notice out including me that descendants are to make arrangements to come get whatever they want.
Now don't get confused, but this becomes part of the story. Last week was husband's birthday. I had the kids give him a call, (to his cell phone, by the way since tha't the only # we have for him) but he didn't answer. It went to voicemail. Hmmmmmmmmmm Not surprised. Checked his ID activity on a site we both used to play games on. He hadn't made any moves all day long. VERY odd. I guess they went on a day trip for his birthday. He called the kids back the next day and they were able to wish him a happy birthday and chat for a few minutes.
So, today was my appointment to get my stuff. Got almost all of what I was looking for. A chest of drawers (vintage that I got at auction for $7), the TV I let her use and the bedside table that matches the one I kept. The phone apparently died
because she had purchased a new one. I also took her checks so I could destroy them properly and close out her accounts. When we opened the account, I was listed as POA and beneficiary. She had tons of other paperwork, but none of it was to be found.As I was leaving, I asked if they had made any contact with the son in CA. The number I had for him was no longer his number, so I was curious if he had been informed. Yes, she said. He didn't want anything and neither did his sister who is also on the West Coast. She went on to say that "the other one was here last week." WTF???????????? REALLY???????????????????? Did she come alone? NO, she was with J. Seriously? Really? Are you sure? Yes, all they took were the recipe cards (ah, and all her paperwork, but whatever)
So, yeah. husband, who is accusing me of being an unfit parent, accusing me of blocking his attempts to see the kids, claiming he wants sole custody of the children, was IN TOWN, less than 5 miles from my house, and did not make an attempt to see his kids. NICE!!!!!!!! I was LIVID! BUT also see that this is VERY good evidence against him for the divorce proceedings.
I went home and unloaded the stuff. Called a friend to vent and then collected myself enough to check her checking account. It was still open and had substantial money in it. STRANGE. She was on SSI, but, she did cash in her funeral insurance, so maybe she was really making that stretch? Anyway, there was money there and 'they' hadn't drained it, so off to the local branch I went to protect it. So I got a rep to help me close the account and I started telling her the story. "Oh!" She says. "I'm the one that talked to you last week." ??????????? No, that must have been D. She asked for my ID and said "yeah, you are on the account. The other woman wasn't and I couldn't give her any info."
So all that money in her account? SS and SSI still made deposits for Sept and October and were getting ready to deposit for November. Since mother in law is dead, the POA ceases to be valid, but I can't do anything with the account without a death certificate. However, she was helpful and did everything she could do. Started paperwork to return SS and SSI money, canceled the debit card, and put a fraud alert on the account in case they try to cash a check at a branch. Nothing they can do if they cash a check elsewhere. UHG.
So, I called to find out about the Death Certificate, and they couldn't find her in the system. Woman had a thick accent, so I'm not sure if she typed the name wrong or if the name is wrong on the cert, which would explain why SS and SSI "didn't get the memo". so tomorrow I go get the cert, deal with SS and SSI, and deal with the bank. Oh, and she's got an automatic deduction out of her account to another bank - probably her CC, so I have to try and figure that out and stop it as well with just minimal information. JOY!
