UPDATE More scared than ever for my grandson and nothing can be done

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by SomewhereOutThere, Jul 24, 2015.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Bart called.

    Today when he brought Junior to school, he was crying and said he was scared to go to his mother this weekend. That's not new. He always does that. What happened next is what scared Bart and me, since we have nothing we can do about it.

    As Bart let Junior off he was about to leave for work when Junior's teacher called him over. He said she was almost in tears and he wanted to know what was going on. I will try to do a good example of what Bart said she told me. I have to give a slight backstory.

    Junior has 20/30 vision and for some reason even though the doctor did not say it was necessary, ex thinks he has to wear his glasses 24/7 and screams at him if he doesn't and she finds out. She is also very on edge because my son rejected her pro se letter to move with Junior, making him go to another school, as s he sells her house to go to another district in another county. He is suing for residential custody and wants to put a stay on her move and his lawyer is top notch. Forgive me for my horrible legal terminology as I don't understand the law. I am trying to do the best I can. Basically she wants to move to make it hard for Bart to see Junior and force Junior out of the school he is thriving in and is used to and loves. She probably has no money for a lawyer and she is very disturbed and is probably nearing the breaking point.

    The teacher said: "Mr. P, I am worried about Junior. His mother came in here SCREAMING at me that he is to wear his glasses ALL THE TIME. I'm seriously afraid that her anger is so horrible at him that I am afraid for him." She was shaking.
    Bart told her to make sure he always wears his glasses and not to push her. He was furious as Junior doesn't need his glasses all the time and is upset that the teacher was so concerned about how angry his ex is that she told him about it. He e-mailed the incident to his lawyer and now he's just waiting.

    Ex is a horrible person in normal times, but she is under pressure now.

    I am so afraid of w hat she may do to my grandson. Grandson is terrified of her. And there is nothing any of us can legally do.

    This lady is seriously out of control.

    I guess this is just a vent because there is nothing I can do, nothing Bart can do. Legally, she is allowed to yell and scream at him and scare him and no marks have been found on him. Actually, it is not against the law to terrorize a kid unless somebody else witnesses it and it is a physical or mental threat to him and it can be proven, as in somebody videotaped her hurting him.

    Poor Junior. He is such a good boy. And this witch just had another baby. God help them both.
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    How horrible for that little boy. I am glad the teacher witnessed it and i hope the attorney can use the information to help your grandson.
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I hope the teacher influences the decision. Something needs to be done - that boy NEEDS to be with his father!!
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I'm just very sad. She is as bad as any Difficult Child I've seen here but usually hides it. Guess she can't now.
  5. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    Aren't teachers mandatory reporters? This teacher has witnessed the mother's anger toward her child. Has the principal been informed, at least? Bart's attorney will follow through on this, won't he.

    That mom sounds so awful.

    It must break Bart's heart to make him go to the mom's when he doesn't know for sure that his son is safe there.

  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    They are, but they are limited as to what they can report. I used to work at Head Start and we had a few speeches (frustrated ones) from CPS.

    Anger is not abuse. Even calling a child a horrible monster is not abuse. The only thing they can report, and get any response on it, are bruises that are documented as probable abuse and neglect, such as the child is never fed or comes to school in bare feet. The workers explained that judges don't rule on verbal abuse because what is verbal abuse? There are no guidelines.

    The bar for a parent losing custody of a child is VERY high. The parent has to become a felon, has to be caught with witnesses or cameras shooting heroin i nto his/her arm or the kid has to weight 10 lbs (obviously not fed) and have no clothing on. We had a poor child (I'll change the details a bit) who came to school biting everyone in her path and drawaing blood. She also had THICK, smelly dog poop on her shoes every single day. Caked in poop. She did not live with her mother. Her mother did not have custody. She lived with a relative who was obviously neglecting her needs to our way of thinking, but because she was fed (normal weight), healthy, and going to school there was nothing CPS could do to remove her to a better environment. They were involved with the family, but did not have the authority to remove her from the house. They could try to help, but could not force the custodian to, say, take parenting classes.

    And the dog poop and obviously filthy house which I'm sure CPS has seen was not filty enough that the child was removed.

    The custodian got a lot of money per month to be custodian of this child.

    The girl was eventually transferred to a public special needs preschool, but she was still with the custodian.

    Because Junior had no bruises on him and nobody saw ex slap him on the head and yelling at him is not grounds for child removal, no matter how fierce it is, she can't do much. Sadly, bart thinks the school's teachers are afraid of his ex. He is afraid of her. She is huge in every direction (taller than many men and quite heavy) and loud and formidable as a person and nobody wants to mess with her. I understand the school not wanting to makek it worse by calling CPS and maybe having her take it out on them or on the kid.

    Bart is terrified for his son, but his hands are tied. He is waiting to see if his lawyer can do anything and expecting to hear that his lawyer can't do anything, but maybe can subpena the teacher if it becomes a full blown custody battle. The second time around.
  7. allusedup

    allusedup Member

    Good luck, Serenity. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. I think it's a good thing the teacher witnissed the mom in action. I am sure your sos attorney will use it to your advantage. Hugs!
  8. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Any news? I've been thinking about Junior today. Hope all is well.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think it is absolutely awful that cps workers hands are so tied but its true. I have reported my son for various things including using drugs in front of the child, leaving the house with the child still inside and other stuff and they aren't interested in getting involved. Maybe they will become alert if someone dies.
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Well, I think her case is over now.

    Son just went to his son's school and got four forms in which his ex wife wrote asking for Junior to be enrolled again at his school. She had to write down WHY she wanted him to go there as she has the residential address and this is out of his school district. And s he did that. She was very persuasive in Jan. 2015. She even wrote an email that Son was given to the Superitendant to make sure Junior stayed at his current school.

    This case is about her moving and pulling Son out of his current school to a school in another country.Son is doing very well at this school and gets all high marks and has good conduct. He is seen as gifted. He has lots of friends and loves it there. There is no compelling reason to remove him as my son has an address that is in this school district and he is asking for a modification in residential custody for himself to have that residential custody address so that Junior can remain in his current school where he is doing very well and loves it. In the meantime, ex is ignoring the lawyers letter to send an affidavit about why Junior should be moved far away and be thrown into a new school. She also will not answer his question on Family Wizard as to the status of her house...has she sold it? Is she moving? Legally she was told to answer witihin two weeks and it's been at least three. She was sent a letter and served with modification papers at home.

    My son's lawyer is ready to take her to court to put a "stay" on her moving Junior to another school. I can't see that she has any case. Her reason why she thought it was in his best interest to move Junior to new school was a very poorly pro se written letter that said the school was ranked higher than this school and that her old house was in a bad neighborhood. That was it.

    My son's lawyer said, "We will be polite. We will wish her well in her move. But Junior is not going to move his residential address with her and is not going to another school and she is going to provide transportation when he does go to school."

    It is not close to where she wants to move.

    Having said that, her house has not sold yet, although we all believe sh e put earnest money on a house in another county and it is pending, contingent upon the sale of her own home. And she wants to close right away. It says so in her real estate blurb yet she is asking too much money probably because she NEEDS the money or s he'd lower the cost for a quick sale.

    I am feeling very optimistic.

    As always, I know nothing about the law so if I used incorrect legal terms or if this doesn't make sense, I apologize. It is how I understand it.

    50/50 custody will be retained, but transporting Junior back and forth will be harder for the ex. Unlike ex, Junior is not trying to take Junior away from his mother. He just doesn't want her to move him far away so that HE can't see him and if she wants to move that far...hey, let HER be the driver.

    They are going before the same judge that heard the custody case last time and refused to give mother sole custody based on her false allegations that she had no proof of because they didn't happen.

    As an interesting aside, this attorney told my son "In the interest of full disclosure, I want to let you know that while your ex had retained her lawyer for the custody case, I was doing his dvorce case." How funny is that? Even her lawyer of last time trusts this lawyer. I wonder if she will eventually get a lawyer and try to use her old one who picked my son's lawyer to do his own divorce.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just wondering if I read the above correctly...is she moving out of the county or country? If it is country make sure your son has juniors passport not the mom. Or he can contact state department and notify them that Bart does not give permission for junior to leave the USA
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    The county. Well, she wants to, but she has her work cut out for her. Son has joint legal and physical and is in son's current school district and has a great lawyer. She has no lawyer and is moving to keep my son away from his son. She has been trying to do this since she ran off with another man and has failed so far.
  13. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    What were the four forms, SWOT. I do not understand. Is the capitulating, and will she keep Junior in his current school close to Bart? I wish Bart would ask for full custody.
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    She needs to send in something regarding her relocation. She was served. That's all I know except that she is thumbing her nose at the courts. I don't know the legal terms but his lawyer is going to take her to court to stop her from trying to remove junior from his current school and he has a strong case. She isn't even trying to explain why he should be put into a new school because status quo is proffered over change for a child. The parents have joint legal so she can't make unilateral decisions like that one. My son's house is in the school district he is at so he's looking to modify custody. He wants the residential address changed to him instead of her. The law favors him in Missouri. She obviously can't afford a lawyer and was so arrogant she did not know how hard Bart will fight for his child. I don't know why. He fought her once already and won.
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Bart doesn't want to go through another custody fight and the law in Missouri favors 50/50.
  16. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    We will know, soon.


    That was really a strange thing, wasn't it, about the lawyer and the divorce case? He must be good, SWOT.
  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Yes. I figure lawyers make enough money to pick who they want to represent them.

    This lawyer is known as being very good.
  18. blackgnat

    blackgnat Active Member

    Do you anticipate there being any resistance by the mom regarding transporting your grandson to his school? I mean, she's not going to refuse to drive him there, or sabotage his attendance at the school out of spite, is she?
  19. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    They make less than you think - but they also know who to hire for pretty much any situation. If another lawyer (especially one who does divorces) chose him for his divorce, he's good.

    The law does favor 50/50 here, at a minimum joint legal, if not joint physical. They also tend to side with the parent who is most cooperative and reasonable. She clearly isn't. My fingers are crossed, but I'd feel fairly confident he'll get a restraining order keeping the child in his school.
  20. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    I haven't responded before now because this is well outside of my knowledge and experience. Just wanted to say we are with you SWOT, and it looks like things are going pretty good right now. Good luck!