I will try to make this as short as possible. I am a long time member but don't post very often. This board has been a tremendous help to me over the years with my now 25 year old difficult child who was adopted at age 11. I am a single mom.
She has been in and out of the house for the past 3 to 4 years (mostly out) didn't work, legal issues, probation, etc. At the beginning of this year she began a relationship with someone and they quickly became engaged, both not working and living in a motel room with 3 other people. During the summer she applied at McDonald's where I live and was hired. She agreed to do her best to keep the job so she could pay off her probation if they could stay with me. He also was hired. They both worked, payed off probation and decided to go to the court house to get married. I was okay with all of this because they seemed to be doing okay and were continuing to work. Boundaries were set and both seemed to understand. Once they were married he drastically began to change. He began to control her more and began to become filled with anger. (This has been in the last 1 to 2 months). He can be pleasant and respectful at times, then at other times he can completely lose control, even with me. He continues to talk about his past and how he was involved in a lot of dangerous situations, gangs, etc. which I am just now finding out about. He use to be very quiet and to himself. Now all he does is talk about his violent past constantly. He expects my daughter to do everything he tells her.
Now for the kicker. She found out 2 weeks ago that she is pregnant. I'm not sure that she will be able to carry this baby because of issues that she has with blood clotting (she is taking lovenox shots daily). We will know more on Wednesday when she has an ultrasound.
My decision now is to move when my lease is up (which I am wanting to do anyway) and let them make their own way. I can not take his constant anger and not know what is going to set him off. He is bipolar with no medications but he talks constantly like a gangster. I will be there for my daughter but I am also becoming afraid of him and I believe she is too. He becomes so irrational at times. She can be irrational too but I know how to handle her. It's so crazy! I can't live like this!!! I just hope I can make it 2 more months and that I'm doing the right thing. She is not able to work any longer because she is high risk. He will probably be losing his job because of his attitude.
Any advice would be appreciated. I truly don't know what to do.
She has been in and out of the house for the past 3 to 4 years (mostly out) didn't work, legal issues, probation, etc. At the beginning of this year she began a relationship with someone and they quickly became engaged, both not working and living in a motel room with 3 other people. During the summer she applied at McDonald's where I live and was hired. She agreed to do her best to keep the job so she could pay off her probation if they could stay with me. He also was hired. They both worked, payed off probation and decided to go to the court house to get married. I was okay with all of this because they seemed to be doing okay and were continuing to work. Boundaries were set and both seemed to understand. Once they were married he drastically began to change. He began to control her more and began to become filled with anger. (This has been in the last 1 to 2 months). He can be pleasant and respectful at times, then at other times he can completely lose control, even with me. He continues to talk about his past and how he was involved in a lot of dangerous situations, gangs, etc. which I am just now finding out about. He use to be very quiet and to himself. Now all he does is talk about his violent past constantly. He expects my daughter to do everything he tells her.
Now for the kicker. She found out 2 weeks ago that she is pregnant. I'm not sure that she will be able to carry this baby because of issues that she has with blood clotting (she is taking lovenox shots daily). We will know more on Wednesday when she has an ultrasound.
My decision now is to move when my lease is up (which I am wanting to do anyway) and let them make their own way. I can not take his constant anger and not know what is going to set him off. He is bipolar with no medications but he talks constantly like a gangster. I will be there for my daughter but I am also becoming afraid of him and I believe she is too. He becomes so irrational at times. She can be irrational too but I know how to handle her. It's so crazy! I can't live like this!!! I just hope I can make it 2 more months and that I'm doing the right thing. She is not able to work any longer because she is high risk. He will probably be losing his job because of his attitude.
Any advice would be appreciated. I truly don't know what to do.