KTMom91
Well-Known Member
Lately things have been confrontational between me and Hubby. He's stressed because of his uncertain job situation, I know, and because Miss KT is a pain in the patootie, and he's back to being controlling, being "in charge," there's nearly constant conflict, and I don't even want to talk to him.
When he's in "controlling" mode, he won't answer questions, just tells me "don't worry about it" or "it's taken care of." Trouble is, history has shown me this is not always the case. I also don't like being pushed aside, so I get angry. I also get angry when he says he'll do something and doesn't get to it. Since this "something" I've asked for help is something I can't do, I again feel pushed aside, and get angry. He keeps saying we need to use teamwork, but that'sonly when he wants to be part of a team. Otherwise, I'm just supposed to accept whatever.
When we changed computers, I was told not to worry, because everything had been saved. OK, now I'm out of the business cards I need for substituting. Where were they saved? The old computer. I have no idea how to find it, so I ask. Five weeks ago. Still no cards. He comes to bed Friday night, leaving the Christmas tree lights on. I ask. "Don't worry about it." But yesterday was the worst of all. I tried to talk to him on the way to church. Mistake. After church, we went to Target to get cat litter. He wanted the stuff in the plastic bin, which costs a whole lot more. Since I'm supposed to be in charge of finances, I pointed out that it was silly to pay $12 for 35 pounds when we could get 50 pounds for $10. He told me the other was easier for daily scooping, but it doesn't get scooped daily...we both know this. On the way to the register, he starts up again with ease of use. I pushed the cart at him, told him to get what he wanted, and headed for the door. He headed for the car, I began walking in the direction of home. Once he caught up to me, we had a screaming fight in the parking lot, and nothing got resolved.
If this was something new, I could understand it better, but I feel like he sees me as insignificant, my opinions as insignificant, that he's the man, the breadwinner, and has to be in charge, and since I only work part-time, that I don't count. I don't even know what to do anymore, since it seems whatever I do isn't right. He says it's just because I'm in "manager mode," but somebody has to be, or nothing gets done at all. This is an issue we've been dealing with off and on for ten years, it's just getting much much worse these days.
When he's in "controlling" mode, he won't answer questions, just tells me "don't worry about it" or "it's taken care of." Trouble is, history has shown me this is not always the case. I also don't like being pushed aside, so I get angry. I also get angry when he says he'll do something and doesn't get to it. Since this "something" I've asked for help is something I can't do, I again feel pushed aside, and get angry. He keeps saying we need to use teamwork, but that'sonly when he wants to be part of a team. Otherwise, I'm just supposed to accept whatever.
When we changed computers, I was told not to worry, because everything had been saved. OK, now I'm out of the business cards I need for substituting. Where were they saved? The old computer. I have no idea how to find it, so I ask. Five weeks ago. Still no cards. He comes to bed Friday night, leaving the Christmas tree lights on. I ask. "Don't worry about it." But yesterday was the worst of all. I tried to talk to him on the way to church. Mistake. After church, we went to Target to get cat litter. He wanted the stuff in the plastic bin, which costs a whole lot more. Since I'm supposed to be in charge of finances, I pointed out that it was silly to pay $12 for 35 pounds when we could get 50 pounds for $10. He told me the other was easier for daily scooping, but it doesn't get scooped daily...we both know this. On the way to the register, he starts up again with ease of use. I pushed the cart at him, told him to get what he wanted, and headed for the door. He headed for the car, I began walking in the direction of home. Once he caught up to me, we had a screaming fight in the parking lot, and nothing got resolved.
If this was something new, I could understand it better, but I feel like he sees me as insignificant, my opinions as insignificant, that he's the man, the breadwinner, and has to be in charge, and since I only work part-time, that I don't count. I don't even know what to do anymore, since it seems whatever I do isn't right. He says it's just because I'm in "manager mode," but somebody has to be, or nothing gets done at all. This is an issue we've been dealing with off and on for ten years, it's just getting much much worse these days.