We're making headway in counseling!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, May 8, 2009.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Finally, after 2 years of arguing on and off. The high's and low's of our relationship are so umm crazy! When it's good it's amazing, when it's bad you wanna ring his neck.

    I"m happy to say and i hope i'm not jumping the gun but we are making way in therapy together. We started couples counseling. The past 3 days has been the best 3 days we have ever had. Granted it's just 3 days, but i'm looking for 4 and 5 and well you get it!

    We played volleyball with the kids the past few days before dinner, his personality really shines through bigtime joking and being crazy with-them and lighthearted. I thought that guy was gone for sure.

    It's something about knowing that hey this is it if we dont' figure this out compromise on our issues we hit a wall with this is it. He puts forth so much effort in the sessions, says alot of junk too lol. Yet we are learning to leave it in the session and continue on with our night after it's over.

    I truly hope this is a sign that we're on the right path finally. That would be nice. Therapist actually said we are well matched, and have been under an enormous amt of presure the past few years with all we have dealt with in a new relationship and maybe now we're ready to make us the focus of it all and not everything else. hmm not sure how to do that yet we are trying and i'm exhausted by the way. I've spent time with him each night the past week when he gets home and i'm downright walking into walls and he's off working 18 hour days like it's nothing lol.

    just nervous now, i'm returning to work monday and work stresses me alot. I have to learn how to draw my boundaries and if they want me they'll keep me yet it's gotta be more on my terms and protecting my time here at home.

    here's hoping! just wanted to share the continuing soga :)
     
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Couples therapy is tough. I dont do "real" couples therapy but my therapist sneaks Tony in for sessions with me every so often and doesnt bill it as marriage counseling. Obviously anything that effects me (like him) is part of my therapy.

    We made a pact that anything that comes out in her office is OK and we cant get mad at each other for what is said there. He still gets nervous and asks me if he did ok in session...lol...bless his heart. I tell him there is no good or bad...Im ok with what he says. Im there to get to the heart of things. It really does help.
     
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    That's kinda cool that the therapist does that actually. That is sweet that he asks that also.

    Our first few sessions i kinda lost it when we left, i felt he threw me under the bus lol. than i had to **** it up and be a big girl and stop acting that way. since than it seems to be making a difference. who knows, we shall see.

    funny thing is with-o insurance she's 60 an hour, with-insurance she's 40. lol. my new insurance at work isnt' soo great. hey, 20 bucks is 20 i guess at the end of the day.

    i just can't stand it's tuesday nights, that was our only night home with-o his kids and just mine. so we'd flip flop one tuesday us out, one tuesday home with-kids. now their alll out at therapy after we do dinner.

    we're like the therapy household. boyfriend's is monday, us tuesday, difficult child is thursday. i'm going back again, hmm what day will i pick?? LOL maybe i should see how much an IN HOUSE therapist costs!!
     
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am glad things are looking up! :)
     
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Jena

    I know it's hard, but it won't last forever. So don't feel so guilty about spending time with the kids and such. You and husband will be giving them a better living environment....and that's worth the time you're unable to spend with them right now.

    Your guy is trying. Many guys don't. They either refuse flat out (mine) or pay lip service to get their mates off their back.

    I'm glad it seems to be working. Hope you two will learn to compliment each other.
     
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    SO happy for you and him!
    Therapy and just talking/communicating with your SO or whomever is so tough at times..

    husband and I have learned to hash it out over time. When he got back from Idaho it was hard, because I have a hard time adjusting to change.
    But he knows this so he let's me flip out.
    But he was depressed as well, due to all of the ca-ca going in our lives.
    So the mix was not too pretty.
    From an outsider it probably looked like we were going down hill, but we have a way of doing things and we have a groove.
    We actually do understand each other even if it ain't pretty!

    I think for a lot of us with "big issues" and G'sFG we have to find our grooves even if it ain't pretty.
    Because it will certainly never ever be traditional! LOL
     
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad things are going well!:)
     
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