Xmas...I swear why do I try?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Dec 27, 2010.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We loaded up the car so full you would have thought it was Santa's sleigh. I bought so many things for all 3 kids. Mikey made out like a little bandit. He got the cutest toys and he loved them! Thankfully 16 month olds cant be particularly bratty even if their parents are! Probably because he isnt talking yet.

    The girls got along reasonably well as long as Keyana did what Hailie wanted her to do. When she didnt, well then all heck broke loose and attitude came out and neither one was happy.

    I am getting really tired of Billie. Really.

    We had all the presents we brought wrapped or in gift bags. They waited to wrap their stuff until Xmas eve after the kids went to sleep. Ok. Well, Jamie started wrapping stuff while Billie was getting the kids to sleep...plus he was putting stockings together. Great. Billie comes down and pulls out 6 of these $5 My Little Pony sets. Jamie looks at her and says "hand me a couple of those and I will wrap them up for Keyana." She says..."Oh no, all of these are for Hailie. See...this one has the blue and pink one, this one has the pink and purple one, this one has the purple and blue one...blah blah blah." Jamie flat out said to her "Look, there are six sets. Hailie is not getting SIX of those sets and Keyana is getting NONE of them!" Hailie doesnt NEED six sets! She already has a ton of them anyway!"

    Billie starts to get witchy and Jamie told her either she gives Keyana at least two of them or Jamie was gonna toss all six. So reluctantly Billie lets him wrap two of the boxed sets up for Keyana.

    Well, on Xmas morning, Keyana opens her sets and was happy as can be. She set them up on her little pile, gave her aunt and uncle a big kiss, said thank you.

    Well...a little later as we were picking up the trash and open boxes, Billie hauls all Hailies presents upstairs. Keyana's stuff was the only stuff left downstairs...oh hers and Mikeys. Well...guess what was missing? The My Little Pony sets!

    When we got all of Keyana's stuff ready to leave on Sunday, no one could find ANY My Little Pony sets at all! My My My! And Billie wasnt home so no one could ask her. So Hailie gave her a Barbie Mermaid doll that was a present from a friend of the family that Hailie hadnt even taken out of the box yet she cared so little about it. Not to mention Hailie got 8 Barbie's this Xmas! 3 from me alone. I gave Hailie 3 Barbie's and a Barbie convertible car.

    Well...we get about an hour away from leaving their house and we get a phone call. We can hear Billie screaming bloody murder in the background how we stole a mermaid doll! Jamie asks me how many mermaid dolls did we take with us? I said one. Hailie gave Keyana the one in the package from Earl.

    He says, thats what I thought. He hung up.

    About a half hour later...Billie calls me on Jamie's cell phone. More of the same...Are you sure...Hailie is screaming, she is freaking out, she cant find her Mermaid doll, she wants it back. Why would she give it to you? Im like...ask Jamie. Keyana has the one Mermaid doll.

    You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell her...go buy her 8 more Mermaid dolls with the $40 you owe me.

    And we all do know that Hailie probably didnt even notice she was missing a stupid Mermaid doll until her mother came home and started taking inventory to see if we had stolen anything from them! I am willing to bet that we left something up there. We always do. Do I freak out and say that they kept it out of reach so we couldnt find it in time for us to leave? NO!

    Have I sued her for the check? NO! I could though. Maybe I should.


    PS: Oh...and just to show how dumb she is...as she found stuff that she forgot to put out for Hailie for Xmas, she would bring it out on Sunday morning and say...oh Look Hailie, Santa came again and left this here, and look here is something else, and something else. On and on...about three or 4 times. Just ticked me off. We were leaving in just a little while. Couldnt she wait? Dont you know that you just dont do that to kids? How would she feel if we had her and her kids down here and we did that to them? She did the same thing to Keyana at Hailies first birthday. And that was really bad because Keyana was only 2. She really didnt get it. Hailie got like 30 presents and no one even thought to get Keyana a few dollar store things...not even a balloon. I always had stuff for all the boys on each of their birthdays. Not like what the main one got but at least they got a prize bag.
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2010
  2. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    I sure hope that Keyana's feeling weren't too hurt. How mean. I understand wanting to spoil your child, but to do so at the cost of anothers feelings? I comment you for not knocking some sense into the girl. UHG! But at the same time, you have to pity Billie for being so empty inside that she can't enjoy the Spirit of Christmas and the joy of giving to those you love.
     
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    That's messed up. I'm glad Jamie tried to help Keyana, but he really needs to talk some sense into Billie.
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm going to attempt to reply for a 3rd time...........................my internet seems to have the hiccups this evening ugh

    I'm surprised you haven't decked Billie right now, I know I'd have been hard pressed not to................I want to and I'm not even there. Heck she drives me insane...........and I have yet to meet her in person. omg! Ridiculous. What a spoiled brat. I'm talking Billie more so than Hallie at the moment, although she's on the fast track to doing just that.

    One thing I do see that is different though, which I see as a good sign...............Jamie isn't siding with Billie and he stood up for Keyanna and is seemingly trying to put his foot down. Looks like he's seeing the ugly truth about his wife. Wow to live with that day in and day out...............................omg!

    It would be the last xmas there if it were me. There is only so much "make nice" someone can do before they snap.
     
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    wow....that just....makes me boil...
     
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I told Tony it is going to be the last Xmas for me.

    We just went through the dirty clothes that BILLIE packed up for me and put in a trash bag and lo and behold, an old mermaid Barbie doll was in the dirty clothes. So I guess we did "take" two of them home with us but how that old one got into the bag of dirty laundry I dont have a clue. I cant see Keyana sneaking down into the basement to put an old doll into a bag not even knowing it was our stuff. I dont think Hailie would do it. Maybe someone thought it was trash?

    Tony wants to call them and confess that we do have two dolls...one looks older and the one that we know Hailie gave Keyana. I say leave it be because to even say anything is going to leave it open to Billie saying...see..they did steal it intentionally. Either me or Keyana. She already says that Hailie said she saw Keyana putting it in her Xmas present bag. She will never believe it was in the dirty clothes bag.

    Tony wants to say that we will hold it ransom for the My Little Pony set...or the check money...lol. Im like...dont even go there because if you do, its going to get really ugly and this is going to blow up like no other blow up. Let me get going and this is going to end with all of us choosing sides and thats not gonna be pretty. Already I know, its gonna be a thorn in everyone's side for a long time to come. We already have a ton of little things in this relationship. Lets not start one more. However...should he want to do it, there is no one who can go to war than an almost 50 year old bipolar borderline woman!
     
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree that I would just let it go! ((hugs))
     
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's not very nice of me...but...I am picturing Billie surrounding herself with all the toys for her pleasure. That would match her level of maturity! Geez, how do our sons choose these people!! DDD
     
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Little Hallie has enough to play with and most likely doesn't know one or two are missing. It's her crazy mother who's counting the dolls, and if Hallie is upset her mothers lighting the fire under her. WHY?? Why would somebody want to treat their own neice like a second class citizen? Why would they want to make her feel left out. That is sad. OMG hoarding all the PONYS???? I recall she was very nasty to you last year, making you feel so unwelcome, but to be mean to KEYANA? Oh no, hugs to Keyana.....with 10 little ponys on top!
     
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow...just...wow. I'm with Lisa...I'd be ready to smack her even more senseless.
     
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I sort of figured something like this would happen. Have you had a single pleasant visit to their house or when Billie and Haillie came to your house? This really smacks of "lets show them how wonderful we are and how much wnderful stuff we've got and how you are just not as good as us" with a lot of rubbing yours, cory's and Keyana's noses in it.

    Billie is never going to mature past junior high unless/until she goes into some really heavy therapy. Even then, I wouldn't expect much. Maybe next year you should be too "sick" or "busy" to visit them or to have them visit your home for more than a couple of hours. If you expect anything more than what you got on this trip you will forever be let down. Expectations for future visits should be as low as possible. Poor Haillie is pretty much guaranteed to grow up as a difficult child - cultured if nothing else. Cause this entitlement koi is going to be a huge problem for her and those who care about her.

    I am sorry she made things so hard and so clearly one sided. You are a great Gma for not poisoning her in her sleep, in my opinion.
     
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I'm somewhere between a lump of coal.........and a sack of moose poop for that witch for next year.
     
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I didnt give her or Jamie anything at all because they havent even bothered to give me anything for the last several years for Xmas, Mother's Day or my Birthday. Jamie actually got Billy a one of those gold dipped roses last year on my birthday and called me to tell me about it. I asked him where mine was and he told me he only had money for one or he would have bought one for Hailie too. He said he figured I could enjoy seeing it when I was up there! Yeah...right. On Mother's Day he bought her an expensive "forever" ring...you know, one of those with the three stones in a row. That might be nice if they had been together longer or if he had bought me anything at all!

    He has also promised Billy several times to "go in" on several gifts for Tony. Never came through. Im done on gifts.
     
  14. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I don't see how you kept from decking her either! There has got to be something seriously wrong with that woman, and if she's that bad with you there, imagine what Jamie must be putting up with when there are no witnesses!

    I can't even imagine myself, when my kids were little, ever calling my mother in law and angrily accusing her of stealing an old Barbie doll from my child! That's just crazy stuff! And as over-indulged as Hailie is, she probably has no idea how many Barbies, ponies, etc. that she has. Did Billie take inventory as soon as you left, thinking that you might take something? I wouldn't tell her about having the second doll either. The woman is a looney! If I were you, that would be the last holiday I spent with them too. She's stepped so far over the line, it doesn't sound like she even knows what normal behavior is supposed to be! You shouldn't have to be subjected to that kind of craziness and you certainly don't have to put up with it!

    And really, Jamie is partly to blame too for allowing her to treat his parents so shabbily!
     
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She is crazy. I am convinced she has some mental illness. She stabbed her mother in the face with a pencil when she was young and the lead broke off in her moms face. All that over her mom attempting to help her with her homework. difficult child anyone?

    The home they bought is a townhouse and I knew it was going to be a fiasco from the start. Billie is a screamer and if you continuously yell at Jamie, he is going to snap and yell back. Not to mention what they scream is cuss words. Thankfully the place is brick unlike most apartments but still, you can hear them pretty well because she is especially loud because she hasnt lost that little girl, high pitched voice. If you ever hear her talk, she still sounds about 12.

    She will scream so loudly at both the kids and Jamie over every. little. thing. I mean loud! But then she doesnt follow through with anything she says. She does that thing where she threatens a punishment that is so outlandish that it simply isnt possible to do. Like threaten to put a 3 year old in her room for a month. Cant do it. The kid has to come out to eat, go to pre-school two days a week, go to whatever, yada yada...plus Billie simply wont remember. Send her to her room for 15 minutes and be done with it.

    Plus...Hailie's room isnt really a bedroom, its the playroom. Hailie sleeps in the parents bed. And omg, you should see the playroom. It is filled to the brim with toys. There are no shelves or bins for toys. They simply are tossed all over the room. Supposedly Hailie plays with everything in the room and knows where everything is. BS. I looked in that room and stuffed was pushed all over the place. There is simply no way you could find pieces to toys or games. I suggested they go through the toy room and box up everything that didnt have all the pieces and toss it. Anything that was good but she didnt play with it anymore, donate to a shelter. She gets so much stuff, she cant possibly play with it all. If they dont want to donate it, put it up and rotate it. Just keep out about 10 good toys at a time to play with. When she starts getting tired of them, bring out a few of the others and put up a few of the older ones. She will think she is getting new toys.

    I also suggested to Jamie they try the whisper method. When Hailie starts her screaming and tantrums, start getting quieter than she is because she will have to quiet down to hear them. It may not work the first time but eventually she will figure out she cant hear them. Screaming at her just makes her louder and she learns to tune them out completely.

    Of course, I know nothing! I got told I made my mistakes and they get to make theirs. Okay...do it your way and see what you get! I happened to learn a few things along the way but if you dont want my advice, go for it!
     
  16. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Wow, difficult child to the nth degree! Someone is seriously trying to overcompensate for a whole lotta something else that is sorely lacking. Wow, wow and double wow.

    So sorry, Janet.

    I keep hearing the MJ song in my head -- a la Weird Al Yankovic... "Billie Jean is not my muuuthur, she's just a witch who... thinks that she's #1...
     
  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet, Billie seriously has some major mental issues going on.

    I've spent the vast majority of my life poor as dirt, yet I've never kept an inventory on my children's toys. Can we say obsessive? Buying all those toys? Can we say compulsive? omg

    The constant screaming over every little thing? Another red flag. If she's that fired up over little things, what on earth does she do with big things?

    You "stole" a barbie that was evidently planted in the bag so she could accuse you of stealing. She obviously stole back the ponies Jamie made her gift to Keyanna. I'm seeing some major control issues going on here.

    Yup. Some big time mental issues.

    I'd not worry about another gift, or visit.

    Except..............you do realize that men can also be abused spouses, right? Makes me wonder with the way she behaves and the way he gives in.

    You need my cast iron skillet you just say the word my friend. ugh :rollingpin:
     
  18. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    They can buy her all those toys but can't "afford" gifts for you or Tony for any holiday or birthday. I wonder how they treat her family, aren't you glad you live so far away? Don't let her ruin another Christmas, surround yourself with those who love you! You deserve happiness, respect and to be comfortable in your surroundings. Don't tell her about that other doll, you can't get into a back and forth thing with her, she can't see reason, she's nuts. Did Billy go with you? Were they nice to him?
     
  19. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Before this got mentioned I was thinking just the same thing. HITH would she know it was a "mermaid" unless... Hmm. Yeah, don't tell them. Hailie doesn't need more toys. Keyana would be more grateful, anyway.

    Red flags everywhere... I was starting to wonder if Billie was actually the kids' BM - honestly, from what I've heard from husband and the kids (both of them, for years) - this is exactly how she would act. Janet - Jamie won't do anything - and I would bet he apologizes to Billie a lot, doesn't he?
     
  20. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Actually, that's the first thing I thought of too ... that she "planted" that doll so she could accuse you of stealing it! She was trying to push it into some kind of big confrontation. Who keeps an inventory of their kids' toys? My grandson also has a ton of toys, but they're not all out at once in one big heap, and if one were missing, it would take them weeks to miss it, if ever, especially an older one! Does the little boy have as many toys as Hailie does? If she's not that way about his things, it sounds like she's got some kind of weird rivalry thing going on, Hailie vs. Keyana.

    I have known some women who were so jealous and so controlling that they tried their best to keep their husband from having a relationship with his own family, to keep him all to herself. They see it as a threat, that it divides his loyalty. There may be men who do this too but I've never seen it. And I've known plenty of men who allow themselves to be abused in this manner, they toe the line and put up with almost anything because she threatens him with the loss of the children if he doesn't. This works for a while but not forever and eventually it will blow up in their faces.
     
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