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You are doing the right thing 100%, You care about your son but you are NOT his caretaker. You must not help him through this just because you always have. It is the easy thing for him to call you constantly and expect you to help him. It is so scary and sad but you you have your own peace...

It is so hard to change. I have so much more awareness around how I was helping him. Awareness is key. I felt responsible to be his caretaker......I care about him but at 19, I am no longer his care taker. Also tough love. I despise tough love but it is necessary. It is so hard for me but...

Hi Poola, I'm so sorry you are going through this. When you write, it sounds exactly like our 19 year old son. He has not said these words lately, but at one point when he was in the ER, he told the nurse he was going to stab my husband and I with the kitchen knives. It is his distorted anger...

Oh I know the fact that they medicate with weed...........omg! A couple years ago my son was prescribed anxiety medication and it was actually working........he stopped using it and said weed was his medicine. It is so difficult to deal with. Weed is not legal in our state so that is a whole...

Hello Gina! Sorry for the late reply. I have been consumed by a paining project and haven't checked the site. Yes, you are in the right place. My son is 19 and has been really giving us hell for the last 3 years. He is so capable but never followed the house rules which were only no drugs in...

Thank you for the truth. You are right and it is hard to read but I agree and I need to hear it! Oh, I am the codependent for sure! I've read Codependent No More so many times. This is THE SAME THING. I have been treading the water and not really healing from this. I obviously need more...

Interesting. Everyday I read the Courage to Change book. It is an Al-Anon daily reading. Today's reading was on the 7th step. And, it is exactly what I am feeling. I am an intense feeler - very emotional person - so sensitive - a HSP (highly sensitive person) Anyway, I look at this as a...

Thanks so much for your reply. I was feeling so good after the meeting but now I am really down. I have these swings - really up and really down. My son got a job full time nights at Walmart. He starts tomorrow except he must work days for 5 days before moving to nights. The place he was...

It has only been one week since I posted on here and I am so grateful for this site. I am so surprised others are having experiences that I have had. Thanks to all for reaching out. I attended a NarAnon Zoom meeting and it was also helpful. I really enjoy the books and when I start to feel...

Dear Helpless, I see myself in you so much. My son sounds so much your son too. We are never sure if it's the marijuana or a serious character flaw/personality flaw./mental illness or what. It is so hard to let go and not focus on them. I was literally going crazy, not sleeping, anxious. I...

Good morning, yes he rode his bike to lifeguarding all summer. He knows. He called me yesterday to get help on a background check he was filling out. Apparently he is getting a full-time stock person night job. From 10pm-7am. This is actually perfect to keep him out of some trouble. This...

I can't expect others to share my values. Sometimes I make choices in my own best interest that others don't understand. If my boundary is not respected, I remember the Serenity Prayer, communicate my limit, and in quietness and serenity do what is needed to take care of myself. I don't have...

Thanks for sharing that and you are soooooo right. I have been very preoccupied with our son and it takes away from our relationship. I am turning the page and giving it to God again and again and again. It is like an every hour process sometimes. There is such a part of me that I recognize...

Mirabelle - You literally have written EXACTLY what has happened and how I feel. I am so grateful that you and others responded because I have felt so alone in my community. All of my son's friends have got it together and are in college or working and living on their own. As I was driving...

Thanks, it is so hard, and I agree - my son is different with me than my husband. We had a very difficult interaction via text two weeks ago when he was asking to move back and I kept saying NO and giving him reasons. So he called my husband today to ask questions about a job application. Who...

Thank you, I am buying that book today. My son called my husband to ask him about a job application. He had questions about some things. This made me happy. My husband and I are going to see my therapist tomorrow to talk all this out. My husband and I decided nope, he cannot live here...

Gosh, you are good parents and so strong. I am sure we have enabled Nathan cause he is an entitled, lazy, unmotivated person. My husband says tough love and he is a teacher and was basically the only middle school teacher who did the hard stuff. All his students adore him but my son hates him...

I know you are so right. I wrote to someone else today that the person Nathan is staying with says he needs to leave. It isnt cause he is being bad or anything. He has been there since like June 10 and it is time. He said, can he move back with you? I was staring at him like NO he cannot...

Thank you. There is an update. Today after dropping my second son at school I ran into the guy my first son is staying with. He asked me why Nathan is still at his house. I said I didn't know. After some back and forth he told me it is time for Nathan to leave. He is not working or doing...

❤️ ❤️❤️ Nandina - thank you so much. Earlier today I felt so strong and as the day went on, that sinking feeling came upon me. Like omg, how will he figure it out! I am sure he is so hurt that we would not allow him to come back for 6 weeks. I keep thinking of that and get sooo down. And you are...