15 year old daughter think she is having sex

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by paula caldwell, Feb 9, 2019.

  1. paula caldwell

    paula caldwell New Member

    Hi
    Need some advice was in my daughters room last night just collecting the usual dishes and rubbish and to my dismay come across a leaflet which was for the morning after pill. I could not believe it and feel very disapointed

    She has been with her boyfreind for about 5 months and he is a nice lad also 15, and both are in my house most nights while we are in, I need advise on how to approach her, i don't want to dive straight in but need to find out so i can be there to surport her, I have not mentioned this to her dad yet i want to see what she tells me first. i know i can not stop her if she is, just wish she would of waited, that's if she has, but it is likely she has ( i think it might of been at a party she went to )
     
  2. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    The pamphlet could have been something handed out to all the girls at school. You don't have to approach her in a confrontational manner. Just tell her that you found it in her room while you were cleaning so she doesn't think you were snooping. Then tell her not to be afraid to tell you the truth about something. Kids have to know a parent isn't going to flip out and go into cardiac arrest is they tell us something shocking. Sometimes we can't help but flip out, but I have always told my son that nothing he says will ever shock me so badly that he should be afraid to tell me. I teach high school, so I've heard about some very troubling things over the years.
     
  3. paula caldwell

    paula caldwell New Member

    Thank you for your reply

    It was like when you get a perscription and the leaflet tells you about the tablet and how to take it and side effects and al that so first thing i thought was she has been the chemist and bought the morning after pill, she is a sensible girl but not sure about this now, feel a bit let down
     
  4. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    Just reiterate all the precautions she needs to take if she's being sexually active. You may not be able to convince her to wait.
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I hate to say it but sex at fifteen is very much almost the norm these days. And she has a boyfriend so yeah .it will happen if it hasnt yet. Most parents dont flip over sex anymore. My youngest is 22, and she waited until she met her current fiance and is a very good girl, but she used to tell me that girls who got pregnant in high school had baby showers thrown by their parents! She went to several. I would have accepted. I dont know that I would have gone so.far as to throw a baby shower. I cant say for sure. I have two girls but neirher had a baby too soon.

    The best thing you can do for all is to get her on birth control. Even if she denies sex, that may not be true, and if you want to play it safe get her on birth contril anyway. Kids often dont think of birth control. And teen boys? Rarely. They especially have sex on the brain and don't think.Period. Girls like the feeling that they interpret as being cared for. Some want babies. Yikes!

    There is really no societal or peer presure for teens to wait for a certain age, like it used to be.

    I would not judge her. Things are faster than in our time. But do try to make sure she doesnt get pregnant. It is doubtful you can stop her if it is already happened.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 9, 2019
  6. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Yes tell her you found the pamphlet. That you want to support her, answer anay questions she may have, and that if she needs to see a doctor you are willing to take her. Stay matter of fact and not emotional about it if you can. I think theee is a good chance she has already had sex, or at the very least is thinking about it in which case you certainly want her to be on birth control.
     
  7. Tired out

    Tired out Active Member

    SWOT, I am applauding.

    Mom to daughter, "Not to be a snoop..I found this leaflet while picking up the dishes. I would like to make you a doctor appointment so if your are having sex or thinking about it You are protected so that this (leaflet) won't be as issue. And if you don't want to talk to me about all this you can talk to the doctor, would you like a male or female gyn? And hun, even when we have you on the pill or what ever form you choose Please also make your partner wear a condom , keep a couple in your purse, so YOU know you don't catch anything"
     
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