3 Months into Private School

[C130family]

Friends,
We took my difficult child to a School in MO. The first thing they did was take him of medications. So far he is doing really well. It seemed like the main priority of the therapy he was receiving before was to integrate him back into the family (which was not working). I now see that is too small a goal. At 15 1/2 he needs to figure out what he wants to do with his life. Integrating was a great Idea when he was ten now he needs to focus on his path, and if that leads him back to our family as a respectful member great if not then that's okay too.

Does anyone know about sources of funding. We just sucked downa $30,000 SLM loan to cover this year and then we are on the hook next year for $1200 a month. This could go on until he graduates in 3 years. We have SSI for him and that helps a little with the expenses outside of tuition. Are there mental health grants or charities out there to help a family like ours. It's like sending my kid to GA TECH in the 9th grade when I wasn't expecting it.

 

[TerryJ2]

Gosh, I'll bet. These kids of ours are expensive.

I don't know of any sources of funding but I'm sure others here will have ideas.

So, your difficult child is diagnosis'd with-ADHD and bipolar and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and is still off medications? That's an incredible achievement! Will he be able to stay off the medications? Has he had any diet changes?

Is he still in the private school? Is it spec. for ADHD or anything? I'm a little confused and just want to clarify that the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is separate.
(Sorry I'm a dolt.)

I'm also wondering about his figuring out what he's going to do in life. Most 15-1/2-yr-old easy child kids don't even know that. Do you mean, aside from living with-you? Like, choosing between work and college?

 

[Christy]

I'm glad your son is doing well. Not sure about financial help, does the school have any ideas? No medications with bipolar disorder? Is he stable? Does your son have any ideas what direction he would like to go in life? Does the school offer any vocational/technical training? I'd love to hear more about the school.

Good Luck!
Christy

 

[Marguerite]

If he is stable off medications, I would be considering having him re-evaluated. The bipolar may have been a mis-diagnosis earlier on. Just a thought.

Marg

 

[timer lady]

Does this school offer any grants or scholarships? Have you checked to see if your state offers the Katie Beckett waiver (though I'm not sure it would cover a private facility of this sort - especially since this facility is in another state)?

 

[slsh]

Honestly, I was just thinking about your family yesterday morning, wondering what you had decided on and how it was going. I'm glad to hear so far, so good.

I could *not* agree more strongly that the focus has to change at some point from family reunification to getting our kids focused on their future. For some kids, those are mutually exclusive or at the very least, family reunification is a distraction from the more important work of getting on with their own lives. I think we waited far too long to make that jump with thank you. Bravo to you and wife for being so on the ball.

I have absoluely no ideas about funding - does the school have any suggestions? Grants/scholarships? I wouldn't even know where to start on that one. Sorry!

 

[C130family]

Honestly, I was just thinking about your family yesterday morning, wondering what you had decided on and how it was going. I'm glad to hear so far, so good.

I could *not* agree more strongly that the focus has to change at some point from family reunification to getting our kids focused on their future. For some kids, those are mutually exclusive or at the very least, family reunification is a distraction from the more important work of getting on with their own lives. I think we waited far too long to make that jump with thank you. Bravo to you and wife for being so on the ball.

I have absoluely no ideas about funding - does the school have any suggestions? Grants/scholarships? I wouldn't even know where to start on that one. Sorry!

The name of the School is ABM ministries. They are a Christ centered school that takes a really strong approach that seems to have paid off. Lots of physical activity, I think he plays soccer 2-3 hours a day. Check out thier website, unlike most places that show you a kid on a horse (dont get me started about my opinion of how little "equine therapy" occurs, 4 years of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) he never rode a horse??) they have tons of "reading materials that show how they do business. One of the parents comments was that some parents wait until too late to start this process. They want a minimum of 1 year, but really 2 to work on the heart issues. If parents wait until 17, then if things are not going in the right direction at 18 they can walk out.
They are on a 250 acre property in the middle of nowhere. There is lots of manual work to do and they a kept busy most of the time.
What I loved about the sports is if they play soccer "everyone" will play, slackers wind up doing extra exersizes. 110% is expected. He says he lays down at night and falls right to sleep.
Look in the reading materials about the place, they are very detailed about the program. At first we were a little put off by some of the strict rules they have, but we are seeing results like never before. He sounds so much more "squared away" on the phone. Though I know he has a long way to go. I'm pretty sure he's going to graduate from High School there.
By faith we will be able to provide financially for this venture though, there will be no college funds for my other sons and we'll have to hold off on IRA's/retirment plans for a while.

 

[Christy]

Sounds like you have found a great place for your son and it makes total sense about starting younger than 17. I will check out the website because I am concerned about the road we may travel when difficult child gets older. I'm curious, are they against medication totally or was is just discovered that your son does better off medications?

 

[C130family]

They do not give medications to any of thier students. That is one of the things that we were excited about. After years of medications that in our case seemed to really do nothing we were ready for this appraoch. Give them a call, Larry Musgrave is the director there, he is a very down to earth guy. The website is http://www.abmministries.com/
I was also sick of all the family therapy, dragging the kids 40 miles each way every weekend for counseling and visits was exhuasting. Therapy became our "sport." Now we are limited to one phone call (10 Minutes) every 2 weeks. Unlimited letters. He must write us once a week. Visits are short and about once every 3 months. He is never told about an upcoming visit it's a rule. This puts the visit on our terms and it's a total surprise to him.