T
TeDo
Guest
nothing changes and no one believes me. This is what happened yesterday/last night. We went to a family gathering out of town yesterday. difficult child had to sit WAY in the back of the vehicle we were all in on the way there. When it came time to leave (driver said "I'm leaving") difficult child told me he didn't want to sit way back there again. I told him I would trade places with him. My 19 year old niece had other ideas. SHE was going to sit in my place and difficult child HAD to go to the way back. Driver, my sister, did not hear this conversation as she was impatiently waiting in the vehicle to leave. difficult child starts walking away to calm down (I knew this), Driver opens the window and yells for him to "GET IN HERE! I'M NOT WAITING FOR YOU!" difficult child yells back to go ahead and leave him there. Driver then turns on me and yells at me to do something about that kid. Now, I am squished in the WAY back of her vehicle and it took me 5 minutes to get there. I was in no position to go anywhere. Niece gets out and goes to get difficult child, grabbing him and bear-hugging him while carrying him, kicking and screaming, to the vehicle. difficult child gets in, starts crying hysterically. Driver goes off on me some more about how THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT KID! and HE NEEDS A GOOD SWIFT KICK IN THE BUTT! I kind of lost it and yelled back that yes, he has a problem but YOU HAVE NO IDEA! I have never told them about his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) because they (sister and mom) are convinced that the reason difficult child is the way he is is because I spoil him and give in to him all the time. When he was diagnosis'd at age 4 with ADHD, they didn't believe that either. They were convinced, and still are, that he doesn't have it, it is overdiagnosed, and that he is just spoiled. Nothing will ever change their mind so why bother.
Driver (sister) and niece go to my mom's house after they drop us off. Mom was unable to go because she had back surgery on Monday. I knew driver and niece would give mom an ear full so I avoided calling mom. I didn't want to hear any more. Well, mom calls me late last night and says "so what is (difficult child's) problem". I told her he has a form of autism because I didn't want to lie about it. She, of course, didn't believe me because he is so smart and she has never heard of anything like this on any of the doctor shows (she watches Dr Phil) or talk shows (she watched Oprah and The Talk). She then proceded to give me examples of times when "he has whined until he got his way" (I pick my battles after getting his point of view) and "we don't ever see him get punished" (ask easy child/difficult child and difficult child and then tell me he never gets punished). She even had the gall to ask "you wouldn't lie about his health to make excuses for him, would you?" I told her that these are exactly the reasons why I don't tell any of them anything anymore. She wanted to know why I would not tell them and let them go on thinking he's a spoiled brat. I told her because they've had their minds made up for so long that nothing I can say will ever change that (they are stubbornly single-minded people and are always right) so why waste my breath. In the same conversation, she proved me right!
Driver (sister) and niece go to my mom's house after they drop us off. Mom was unable to go because she had back surgery on Monday. I knew driver and niece would give mom an ear full so I avoided calling mom. I didn't want to hear any more. Well, mom calls me late last night and says "so what is (difficult child's) problem". I told her he has a form of autism because I didn't want to lie about it. She, of course, didn't believe me because he is so smart and she has never heard of anything like this on any of the doctor shows (she watches Dr Phil) or talk shows (she watched Oprah and The Talk). She then proceded to give me examples of times when "he has whined until he got his way" (I pick my battles after getting his point of view) and "we don't ever see him get punished" (ask easy child/difficult child and difficult child and then tell me he never gets punished). She even had the gall to ask "you wouldn't lie about his health to make excuses for him, would you?" I told her that these are exactly the reasons why I don't tell any of them anything anymore. She wanted to know why I would not tell them and let them go on thinking he's a spoiled brat. I told her because they've had their minds made up for so long that nothing I can say will ever change that (they are stubbornly single-minded people and are always right) so why waste my breath. In the same conversation, she proved me right!