Last week on another thread I posted that I had an interaction with my daughter via Facebook where she commented that she really missed me and her daughter. After pondering that for a couple of days, I responded by shifting the responsibility onto her by saying her daughter and I had been here all along, it was she who traveled into the dark place. Part of my daughter's issue is that she does not take responsibility for her actions and has magical thinking about things working out without her having to actually DO anything. I shot holes in that theory by telling her if she wanted to forge a connection with us, it would be SHE who would do all of the heavy lifting. When I wrote that here, I said it felt like the completion. It felt like I had reached the end of the detachment emotional ride. Not to say it is over and all is well, but that my part in it, my enabling, my engagement in my daughter's chaos has subsided, replaced by acceptance of what is. This past Monday, my one prayer that my daughter find a safe place to live so that she could BREATHE and relax enough to at least have the opportunity to begin the journey out of the dark place..........was met. She hooked up with a guy she used to know many years ago, not one of the "hobos" she usually connects with, a guy who has a good job, looks like a "normal" guy, looked me in the eyes and shook my hand and said to me, "I'm going to help her get back on her feet." He just bought a house and she moved in with him. The house is on my side of town, not the "sketchy" section of town where she's lived for the last 4 years. All of this is a shift in her behavior, the type of person she usually hangs out with and the bad choices she has been known to make. Where she goes from here is up to her, and after my FB clarity about it ALL being on her shoulders and now this new development with her move into a much safer and healthier place, has released me from the past and opened a new door for my own future. It feels good. Since Monday I have been thinking differently, that disconnect from my daughter opened up a new vista which I saw evident yesterday in how the whole day evolved. Rather then be in my 'trying to create a perfect family day', it all went so smoothly, I had spread all of the work around so I had much less and my attitude was much more accepting of 'what is,' so it ended up being a perfect family day without my trying or worrying about it, it just happened. My daughter was late, as usual, but I didn't care if she came or didn't come, so the fact that she came and it was comfortable and easy, was a bonus. I had no angst or anxiety, it was a free flowing, easy, simple and fun day. At one point, late in the day before we ate I thought, "well I guess she isn't coming." I smiled and thought to myself, "well, she may have moved, but she is still a difficult child.................and that's okay, it is what it is." And, I went on enjoying my moments. That's a big shift for me, I no longer have to have it all be a certain way, to have my vision of what it should look like prevail..........life happens and I'm learning to be happy with whatever shows up, which makes my moments WAY more peaceful and comfortable. Giving up control turns out to be the road to PEACE. Hmmmmm. Good to know. I woke up this morning with a very new sense of comfort within myself, that last piece of angst is gone, there are no shoes dropping or about to drop and if they do, they do, I'll think about it then, for now, all is okay. I am feeling much, much gratitude on this day after Thanksgiving.