A quiet uneasy ....

[dizzymum]

Good morning folks.

Spring is springing here in the UK. The sky is beautiful and my garden is waking up.... what a breath of fresh air.

difficult child is still at my mums and as long as I don't converse with her too much, things are ok. She has nothing to do except please herself, so I am not surprised she is comfortable. She was having a sleep when I collected my mum to go to hospital yesterday at 14.30! I have to understand how exhausting her life is!! As my mum pointed out, she had a hectic weekend, poor thing, so probably needed a rest. Coming in at 02.30 and arguing with the fiance til 5am is what I would call a late one, but difficult child says not? One day, I hope to understand my unreasonable disposition! LOL. Note .... My backside would have been half way into next week if I had given my mum an ounce of the grief that my difficult child has given me. I had 2 hopes and one of them was called Bob!!

Mum did have a bit of what I get on Sunday though. I was again collecting her to visit Grandad. We were sat in the lounge and Nanny and difficult child were discussing a film that they had watched the night before. Things got quite heated almost instantly when Nanny relayed part of the story to me and difficult child disputed it. Nanny nicely doubted difficult child and difficult child became quite angry and defensive that she should be doubted. My mum looked on shaky ground and backed down when she realised it was futile to even agree to disagree. Her face resembled how intimidated I often feel with difficult child. Part of me screamed " you see? It's not just me". Mum said she was probably just under alot of pressure.

Grandad is still in hospital. He is not a well man. I go in and perk him up with a bit of cheeky banter. It is great to put some effort in and feel appreciated for it. He can't leave us yet. I am not ready!! I haven't finished researching his war history or reunited him with his long lost pal. I have so much to learn from him.....

 

[Shari]

Dizzy, enjoy difficult child's drama not being a part of your constant everyday. Take the break. Everyone needs them.

 

[dizzymum]

Thanks Shari, I am.

My mum and I are/were close. We speak most days and it's difficult not to mention difficult child as it has impacted on my mums life too. We would normally discuss such issues but we can't!!!! It is difficult to avoid her because we are both Grandads support network and as I am the only one that drives, we rely on each other.

I found myself telling my mum that I couldn't discuss difficult child last night because I was in a happy mood and did not want to let go of that feeling. I then read some pages here and went on to find some good joke pages on the net. When I went to bed I pretended that I was in Sri Lanka and I could hear the sea lashing the shore!

It is an itch tha I can't scratch though and I feel a sense of grieving.

Onward and upward. Better days to come

 

[tiredmommy]

Dizzy,

Thanks for the update. I'm pulling for granddad too!

 

[susiestar]

Dizzy,

Sounds like you have a full plate. I hope you are able to find your dad's lost friend.

I think it is good for your mom to see what difficult child really is like. She sounds like she is making excuses for her. At least you are able to cut off some of the drama and have time to heal.

I am sorry you are grieving. I fully understand the sense of loss and anguish when we need to move our difficult children to another address.

Good job setting boundaries when you told your mom you couldn't discuss difficult child. It can be hard to set boundaries, but it is SO important.

Sending hugs,

Susie