Hi, i came across this forum when I googled out of desperation for what could be causing my son to behave the way he does. I don't know how much more I can take, I feel like giving up on him and wish someone would take him away. Ever since he was a baby he has been demanding; before he could talk he would pull my face to look at him when I was talking to others. His demands for attention have increased over the years. He's now 10 and things have got steadily worse. Even when he was 3 he would use emotional blackmail, such as threatening to kill himself, and has been aggressive. I had him assessed when he was 5, and they could find nothing wrong. It appeared that he was just a bright child even though he's not academically bright.
Now the outbursts are more frequent and more prolonged. He is exceptionally good at arguing and when ignored he ups the ante, adopting behaviour that simply cannot be ignored. I have always set firm boundaries and explained actions and consequences. Now I'm totally out of control. He won't take time out, he wants to cause arguments. If I won't argue he resorts to hitting, threats of violence, and hateful words that I wouldn't have even thought of at his age. The current situation started at 8.30am sunday and is still raging today. He refuses to do as he's asked and will do anything to cause friction. What on earth can you do with a child who doesn't want to be reasoned with? It's not like he doesn't understand right from wrong because he does.
Also, this behaviour is contained within the home. I went to social services because I'm scared that he will become like this elsewhere, and I also fear for the safety of my husband and step-son. They sent a family resource worker to work through behaviour but after four weeks they realised that he understood acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. We are now waiting to attend Family Therapy and have an appointment in 2 weeks. I have read some websites on ODD and there are many, many similarities with my son's behaviour. Should I mention this when I go to the appointment? Is ODD a recognised condition or catch-all label?
My stepson has dyspraxia and much of his negative behaviour has disappeared since diagnosis late last year and modification of certain approaches; in fact he is doing better than expected socially and academically. However, he can be reasoned with and does not deliberately cause problems. My son, on the other hand, targets my stepson when arguments with us don't cause a reaction and this is causing my stepson severe distress as he struggles enough with conforming to society's 'norms'.
If this is my life for the next 8 years until he leaves home, then I'm not sure I can take it. I'm tired and on edge, waiting for the next round. On a daily basis he'll refuse to do something or try to provoke an argument and that's a good day. It's ripping our family apart.
What do I do?
Now the outbursts are more frequent and more prolonged. He is exceptionally good at arguing and when ignored he ups the ante, adopting behaviour that simply cannot be ignored. I have always set firm boundaries and explained actions and consequences. Now I'm totally out of control. He won't take time out, he wants to cause arguments. If I won't argue he resorts to hitting, threats of violence, and hateful words that I wouldn't have even thought of at his age. The current situation started at 8.30am sunday and is still raging today. He refuses to do as he's asked and will do anything to cause friction. What on earth can you do with a child who doesn't want to be reasoned with? It's not like he doesn't understand right from wrong because he does.
Also, this behaviour is contained within the home. I went to social services because I'm scared that he will become like this elsewhere, and I also fear for the safety of my husband and step-son. They sent a family resource worker to work through behaviour but after four weeks they realised that he understood acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. We are now waiting to attend Family Therapy and have an appointment in 2 weeks. I have read some websites on ODD and there are many, many similarities with my son's behaviour. Should I mention this when I go to the appointment? Is ODD a recognised condition or catch-all label?
My stepson has dyspraxia and much of his negative behaviour has disappeared since diagnosis late last year and modification of certain approaches; in fact he is doing better than expected socially and academically. However, he can be reasoned with and does not deliberately cause problems. My son, on the other hand, targets my stepson when arguments with us don't cause a reaction and this is causing my stepson severe distress as he struggles enough with conforming to society's 'norms'.
If this is my life for the next 8 years until he leaves home, then I'm not sure I can take it. I'm tired and on edge, waiting for the next round. On a daily basis he'll refuse to do something or try to provoke an argument and that's a good day. It's ripping our family apart.
What do I do?