Always A Worry


New Member
Hi Family:

difficult child is still in the soberhouse, Thank God. She's doing OK so far. A guy she did drugs with (read: dealer) is harrassing her and threatening her because of that day she came here when she asked me to throw all her drugs down the toilet. He wants the money for those drugs. He has been threatening her. She doesn't know where he lives (in the city) but he knows where she does. :wildone:

Now she has to look behind her and be worried that this guy is gonna show up. She says she is living an "honest life" now and isn't afraid of him....I am worried. :tears:
Although difficult child has been around many rough and dangerous people, now that she is recovering, the past is still there, Haunting not only her but me as well.
I know she brought this all on herself....but still I don't want to see anything bad happen. So I worry, put minutes on her phone...just in case, and make her call me every night now.
Just when I was about to exhale a bit......
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif
Please pray and hold a good thought that this nut doesn't come looking for her.

Melissa *


Active Member
Geez, how scary. You must be a nervous wreck. How much does she owe him? Is there a possibility that he could be paid so he will go away forever?


Active Member
I'd be a nervous wreck, too. difficult child doesn't need the added pressure, of looking over her shoulder, when she's doing so well staying sober. I have to agree about seeing how much is owed and if the guy could be paid off. It sounds horrible suggesting to pay off a drug dealer but it would be done to help difficult child, since she is determined to stay sober. Hugs to you and difficult child.


New Member
She owes him over 1000.00
I can't come up with that.
He is on probation from what I understand and an ex-con.
Any suggestions?



Active Member
Melissa, they do bring such danger into their lives. I know ant still fears one drug dealer. I noticed ant sleeps with a baseball bat next to his bed. I am sure he is safe here. heck, his brother the cop sleeps in the bedroom next door to ant. still, it takes time for PTSD to go away. Post trauma can last a long long time.

Just last night I dreamt of my ex and his scarey move of abandonning me in far off places. once I was in a hotel in a shower in Philly. I came out to find he had left the hotel key on the onlocked car seat right outside the door. on purpose. he was no where in sight. I got in the car and scouted for him. he was walking up the highway. he was going to leave me there and get a bus someplace.

many times we would go someplace and he would disappear and desert me. once on a beach in FLA and I had nothing but a towel with me. he took off while I was laying on the sand with my eyes closed. I walked for miles and had to get help. it was getting dark and I had no way to know where he was.

made me have PTSD about that still wakes me up at night sometimes. one of the many "gifts" he left me.

hope Melissa gets more confident that she can be safe one day.


Well-Known Member
Melissa, I'm sending hugs and prayers your way. I also am
wondering if "maybe" you should not get reattached with the
daily phone calls. It seems to me that difficult child would be more apt to face her issues and seek maturity if she did not have
you (in addition to her housemates) to share her stress with

You know I support your choices, no matter what they are, but as your cyber friend I think making sure she has a cell
phone that she can use to call 911 is a wise choice. The
inclusion of her traumas in the life you are building with
your SO and the baby...well, I think that's another.

Hugs. DDD


Mine was in the same position 2 years ago I guess. There's nothing you can do and not much she can do. She can keep reporting him to the cops for harrassing her and get an order of protection. That will get him arrested if he continues. Now part of this depends on the situation... is this guy a low level street dealer or a guy affiliated with a gang or mob who will come after her in his absence? If it's the former, which it was for mine, sooner or later they get arrested and thrown in jail for a long time. And then it's all over. So to the extent she can assist in getting him thrown in jail for along time that might help. Not that I'm suggesting that she become an informant and make it worse. Only that she report him when he's driving under the influence, report him for violating the protection order, report his whereabouts to his PO and the child support collection folks, give his phone number to the local narcotics cops for a wire tap, etc. All these little things will add up enough to get him in jail for a long time and/or to move out of the area.


New Member
I think he is somewhere in the not a small time dealer, a middleman sort of.
He has a warrant, an illegal gun and a felony background and is on probation.
I am trying to help expedite his arrest.......but I don't have all the info I need.

Melissa *


Active Member
I don't recall reading in your post how the threats are being made to her? I know you mentioned that he knows where she lives but is he actually showing up or sending her threats in the mail, etc? Just wondering if there's any fingerprints or something. Just trying to think of anything that might help. Sorry you are going through this.