So scary and heartbreaking. My son has been abused by a few people in the schools. It makes you feel like you didn't protect your child, and I still feel horrible. Even though of course I know I was doing my best and I handled it ok when I found out. Every time things go on too long and I dont realize it I feel awful.
It is really tricky with a child who PROVOKES people due to his disability. But their job is to be professional and listen to the message behind the message.
my difficult child has been:
1. locked in an isolation room for a power struggle over wiggling (1st grade, 30 lbs, never legal unless kid is a SERIOUS threat to self or others, and then only for a certain time period--it was never part of his BIP so would have had to be only for an emergency. I got ARC involved and the advocate helped me with all the due process. The entire district has a changed policy now because of this, thank heaven)
2. Has been told by at least two bus employees several abusive things...(sometimes hard to know if both teh aide and the driver are involved). I actually had a sick feeling one day when he got on the bus from home. I followed in my car. when I parked in the school lot I could hear his driver over all of the other busses, kids, etc. saying " That (name) is the WORST child i have ever had on a bus. He is just a rude little brat. ....on and on....I went up and noticed she was saying this to ed. aides at the school and they were laughing. Shaking I walked up and said, this is an inappropriate conversation. If you have concerns then we need to meet with your boss and the administration/sp ed people at this school, etc. She GOES OFF on me....I'm reporting you to child protection for being a bad mother!!! etc...
OMGosh, I was shaking all over, got in teh building and because she had just finished telling my kid she was going to have a party every time he is not on the bus and the he will miss out, and she will drive away at night without him --and she DID once then stopped and laughed at him for being upset....etc. (HE is obsessed with the bus, the highlight of his day!). She had no clue how she revved him up and caused the problem. Anyway so because of her rant in front of the other kids, the other kids went in school saying difficult child was "bad" so when sp.ed. behavior admin asked him to come over he yelled and refused.... I heard THAT guy then (and he really typically is difficult child's biggest cheer leader but he made a huge mistake RIGHT in front of me. SCREAMMED at him...I then had to go tell him to stop and asked him to go to his office! when I told him what was going on the EA's were in as much trouble as the driver for breaking confidentiality.
But the worst is the effect it has had ever since on difficult child....panic over the bus leaving with-o him daily so he leaves class early with-o permission. Learned behaviors and defensiveness that has not left yet.
This year, another jerk of a driver....Now again, difficult child is the one taken off the bus even though EVERYONE says the drivers are in the wrong...I just dont get it.
I dont understand folks who act like kids and treat human beings like they have no feelings just because they can't communicate those feelings clearly. I will never understand it. I suspect some of those who did it to my son would never even treat their pets as badly as they did him. I have seen adults push/shove him too, instead of using CPI methods for restraint and prevention of aggression. One was a school psychologist! Just shoved him into a chair for standing up and walking towards me! I talked to him after of course. One of his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers was a former cop and took him down with his knee in difficult child's back and twisted his arm/wrist making him cry...this was over non-compliance and a little slap on my shoulder while we were in a pool...he jumped in and dragged him out and totally escallated the situation. He had just completed CPI training the previous monday and went into automatic cop mode. I had to deescalate them BOTH and his own company had to report him to cps. He had gotten a promotion but that is not happening now. so sad.
if these things happen in front of me, I know more happens when I dont see.
it is so disturbing, I am always on hyper alert now