AND How to Wrap Presents with a Cat

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by meowbunny, Nov 29, 2007.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Thought our kitties needed equal time:

    1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

    2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, then close door.

    3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

    4. Go to garage and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

    5. Go back and let cat back into house from the garage.

    6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, labels, etc.

    7. To determine your wrapping strategy, lay out present and wrapping materials on table.

    8. Go back to drawer to get scissors, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect scissors.

    9. Remove present from bag.

    10. Remove cat from bag.

    11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

    12. Spread out paper to enable cutting to size.

    13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.

    14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.

    15. Put second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came from.

    16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.

    17. Lift up edges of paper to seal present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.

    18. To hold paper in place, place object on paper and then cut transparent sticky tape.

    19. Using a pair of nail scissors, spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat.

    20. Seal paper with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

    21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.

    22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
    Re-roll ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.

    23. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.

    24. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.

    25. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

    26. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

    27. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.

    28. Once inside room, lock door and spread out packing materials.

    29. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and re-lock door.

    30. Spread out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best.)

    31. Seal box, wrap with paper, and start repairs by carefully taping tears with transparent sticky tape. Then tie with ribbon, adding bows to hide the most damaged areas.

    32. Label present, then sit back to admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making the best of a bad job.

    33. Unlock door, and head to kitchen to make yourself a drink and feed cat.

    34. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat before coming to obvious conclusion.

    35. Unwrap present, untie box, and remove cat.

    36. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat, and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.

    37. When handing over present, smile sweetly at recipient as they try to hide their contempt at being handed such a badly-wrapped present.

    38. Swear to yourself that next time, you'll get the store to wrap the darn thing for you.

  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Or, if you have one of those real jumpy cats...

    Lay gift wrap on table.


    Remove cat from ceiling.
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    :rofl: BBK

    I have a bigger problem -- cat that tries to eat the paper while I'm trying to cut it. Then the big girl will shred the paper once it is wrapped and under the tree. Once she's done shredding, the dog will take the gift and hide the evidence as if he's the guilty one. Christmas is an adventure in this household.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I am fairly certain that the cat that pasted herself on the ceiling last night due to the sound of wrapping paper - will still be there 19 hours after I last saw here clinging to it last night.

    I wonder if she wasn't a mall worker that wrapped gifts at the mall of america in a former life - just the sight of a tube freaked her right out.

    This is great! Thanks Meow
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member