And so it begins (and another ends)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Sep 5, 2010.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child's school year began on Thursday. He honeymooned for exactly one day. We received a wonderful e-mail how he had no verbal or physical aggression the first morning nor the afternoon at the alternative school he is attending 1/2 days.

    Day two we received an email that for no apparent reason difficult child stabbed another child with a pencil:(

    As for the endings, difficult child went to respite this weekend. He had a good time but it was also his last time at least for now. One reason is we are losing our funding source and another is the family that has been taking difficult child is at their limit because of the number of foster children they currently have.

    We were hoping to keep difficult child with this family for respite even after the funding ran out because it is such a good fit for difficult child. He gets along well there and they love having him. She did say they will keep in contact and hope to be able to work something out at some point.

    Respite is the one service that has been more helpful than any other over the last two years and a service we are really going to miss. I think Timer Lady said it one time that you can deal with a lot if you know you have respite coming once a month. So true!
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Oh Sharon, I'm really sorry that this is happening. We only get respite once a week for about 2 hours and he gets so revved up about it that he drives me nuts for hours before and when he comes home he's so whipped up that no one can deal with him!

    I really question what they mean by "for no apparent reason, he stabbed another kid with a pencil. There's almost always a reason, they just need to dig a little.

    Hope things lighten up for you!

  3. ML

    ML Guest

    I really wish we lived closer so I could take him for you. And I totally agree with Beth, there is always a reason if you look. I'm really sorry xo ML
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, Sharon. Did difficult child say why he did that?
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry the year is starting off so rough. What will his consequences be? Will you have to pay any medical expenses? Years ago Wiz got stabbed with a pencil at a daycare. It is a puncture wound if it breaks the skin and can get infected very easily and badly. I don't know how your schools handle that. I hope they won't bring the police in for assault charges. That is how our school handles it.

    A whole set of problems you truly NEVER needed. I am SO sorry you are losing respite. I know it has been a lifesaver for you for a long long time. Is it time for a medication tweak, or just the stress of school starting?

    I wonder what the other child did - there is almost ALWAYS something.

    What, if anything, is difficult child saying about it?

    Lots of hugs and support for however you need to handle this!!
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Beth-Thanks for the good thoughts~

    ML-What a sweetie-if we lived closer we could take turns giving each other respite.

    Mary-He hasn't said why yet.

    Susie-I don't think they will call the police this time. I'm not sure if the skin broke as they didn't say. He went to the SAR (student area recovery) where he processed what happened and then they were going to process it at the alternative school Friday afternoon. I don't know about the medication tweak-we are still working on getting the right dose of the Clozapine. It could just be the start of school.

    We will try to do a bit more digging today into as why difficult child did stab the other child. If we try and talk about it too soon he won't say anything and then we dropped him off at respite Friday and picked him up yesterday late afternoon and he was totally exhausted that we thought we would wait until today.
  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon, I'm so sorry to hear about the respite funding. If I had the $$$ I'd pay for more the one respite a month.

    Is it possible that difficult child needs to be full time in ALC ~ seriously, does the SD want this level of aggression in mainstream? It's a liability issue for the SD (& you) & sets your difficult child up to fail in that setting. He's not there yet - doesn't have the needed impulse controls to maintain. Sometimes I think it's cruel to put some of our difficult children with their serious diagnosis's/issues/disorders in a setting where they cannot compete with their peers; in fact, likely get teased or are very lonely. I'll hop off the soap box now.

    I hope difficult child evens out for a bit & your school year can continue with-o too much disruption.
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am sorry as well.
    Sounds like a lot of stress over all.
    Respite... to bad more of us didn't live closer. We could switch off and on and maybe even all go out! LOL
    It would beat my In-laws taking the girls for a couple of hours once in awhile. Not worth it most of the time.

    Well I hope the School figures out what triggered him and how to help him decompress before he escalates next time. I love when the school does that, nothing happened or she was fine... and then she just freaked out???
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda-I agree that perhaps an ALC all day would be a good idea. However, in our district, there isn't one. Hopefully things will calm down some.

    Totoro-Wouldn't it be great if we could provide one another with respite?

    husband talked to difficult child some but difficult child wasn't able to say why he did the stabbing with the pencil.