Wasn't sure if I should put this in PE, but since I dragged my H into it, I figured it was suited for WC. It appears that we're hovering very closely to square one again with difficult child. While her attitude has been okay, she's stayed clean and sober, and she's been supposedly looking for a job, she doesn't have a job yet; all the college kids are back, so it's slim pickings. Although I realize the job market overall is not doing so well, for minimum wage earners around here, there are jobs out there. I just hung up with difficult child to see what she had accomplished so far today - I was surprised (NOT) to find her home and in the back of my head I was hoping she'd already gone out and was just home for lunch. Nope. She's not going out today because, in her words, "I used up the last of my gas driving to the club this weekend, so now I have no gas to go job hunting"...WHAT?!?!?! I gave her a bit of a lecture, reminded her of our agreement and hung up. Oh yeah, and did I ever mention that her blood work came back on late Friday and it appears that difficult child is ACUTELY ANEMIC. Which may explain in some part the excessive sleeping. Yesterday I spent a better portion of the day at church helping with a market fair and then hit up the library on the way home. I was with H and these days, it's a real challenge to spend that much time with him (story for another post). What did we find when we arrived home at 3:15PM? BOTH daughters in their beds watching tv (well, difficult child was just sleeping). The house was undone, the dishwasher was full of dirty dishes, the garbages were all full, the house needed some dusting...IOW, there were certainly things that the two of them could have done rather than lounge around in bed like a couple of sick sloths. I was peeved, I mean really peeved. Then as I pull out the vacuum, I spy H lying on our bed reading his new library book. ARGH. I did the silent scream - in retrospect, I know I should have probably let 'it' fly, but I didn't. I buzzed through, left the bathroom cleaners in the bathroom sink, and left the house with an order to clean the bathroom, unload the dishwasher, check the laundry...all followed by a few good slams of some doors, heh heh. When I returned at about 8:30, most everything was done. But guess who did it all? H. WTH? difficult child was gone, easy child was still in her bed. I just really hate this lounging in bed in the middle of the day watching tv or using the laptop. GET OUT OF YOUR BED AND SIT AT THE TABLE OR WATCH TV IN THE LIVING ROOM. There is just something about them being in bed in the middle of the day that SENDS ME OVER THE EDGE. My mom used to come home from work and change, then hop into bed to read - every night for a few years. I know she was suffering with depression likely, but as a teen, I hated it. I think this current thing with mine is reminding me of how they are shutting everyone else out and it drives me insane. Can I make a rule that no one is allowed to be in bed during the day unless they are sick? easy child started her new job today, which means she will be taking care of the pup at lunchtime, albeit slightly later than the pup is accostomed to, but I think she will survive it. I just know that easy child will try and find a way to get out of taking care of her dog during her lunch break (2 hours!) and expect someone one else in the house to do it for her, namely me or difficult child. She's in for a rude awakeing because I have dedicated myself to the gym during my lunch breaks until mid-June. I'm just annoyed. I feel like carp. I haven't been well, I am getting ready for that ablation thing next week (in my head I have to psyche myself), I have worries about my mom, my marriage is in the toilet, I need more counseling sessions than the two a month I can afford, I want my own apt, I want difficult child to shape up and move out, and ditto for easy child. I sometimes feel so selfish for thinking this way and then I think of myself at their ages. I didn't even have the luxury of living with my parents at their ages, even if I wanted to (which I did not). My parents moved 3000 miles away. I have a friend who says that if the girls weren't living at home, H and I would have to figure out exactly what we want from our marriage and whether or not we'd want to stay together. All I can think of is the vast lengths of silent moments in between the inane superficial questions he asks me or his rants about work - just shoot me now. Ugh, just had to get that out. I know that there are no answers that anyone can give me about this, really. Ultimately, I need to work this out and figure out what I want to do and then grow the cohones to do it.