anouther ODD question

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by goingcrazyinwv, Mar 28, 2008.

  1. goingcrazyinwv

    goingcrazyinwv New Member

    I had a meeting at the school this morning about daija and told them that we had a diagnosis of adhd and odd and he said he isn't convinced about the odd he said he definately knows there is a problem but with odd the behavior is usually seen every where and not just at home and her behavior is perfect in school. The school is also concerned she is going to hurt her brother as am I. She will stand up in class and talk about how she hates her brother and wants him to die etc. They really think something has to be done about this situation because we don't really think alex is 100% safe because when she fights with him it is like she just losses it and doesnt know what she is doing she will pick up whatever is closest to her and hit him with it not even looking to see what it is. I don't think she would intentionally hurt him bad but I think when she gets in one of these rages she doesn't know what she is doing and is going to hurt him. I was just wondering what you all think is it odd if she isn't presenting it in school?

  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I hate to sound like a broken record, but in my opinion this is more than ADHD and ODD. I think you should re-evaluate him, whether he does it just at home and not at school or what. To me it sounds like the diagnosis could be way off. If you are seriously worried for your other child, you owe it to both kids to re-evaluate him. The Adderrall could be making him worse, rather than better (yes, he will focus more on Adderall, but, in kids with mood disorders, it can cause more aggression). If you don't want to re-evaluate, I'm not sure what to tell you. Since we are just parents, we don't KNOW why these things happen. My advice once again is to get a neuropsychologist evaluation. If you can't, next best is a child psyschiatrist (with the MD). Second and third opinions, unfortunately, are often necessary, and it sounds like this is the case with your child. Good luck.
  3. I agree with MidwestMom. I would get another opinion. My difficult child has not been seen by a neuropsychologist, but he is seen by a child psychiatrist (with MD). My difficult child would "maintain" at school as well. There has not ever been any issues with him regarding behavior at school other than dramatics trying to get out of class (saying he was going to throw up, actually rolling out of his chair laying on the floor, etc.) The doctor has said some kids are able to maintain at school, holding it all in until they get home and then they feel "safe" enough to let go. At home, my difficult child will be in rages, lashing out at his sister (she's 15, he's 12), telling her she needs to die, telling her she will wake up dead sometime, and even a few times pulling a knife on her.

    I'm just another mom here, but I agree, that there is probably something else going on with your difficult child. I have also heard that sometimes kids are diagnosed with ADHD, when it is really something else.

    I wish you luck.

  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child did not begin showing problems at school until about 6-7 grade.

    "Just because a child or adolescent does not act appropriately does not mean they have ADHD or any other disorder. Sometimes bad behavior is just bad behavior. There is another "mental illness" that probably afflicts more children and adolescents than all forms of ADHD combined yet fails to carry nearly the notoriety of ADHD. It is called Oppositional Defiant Disorder and is classified by the DSM-IV as a mental condition."

    I did not make that up, it was written by a clinical counselor who works with children and adolescents who have various behavioral disorders. ODD is very misunderstood by many people. Professionals and school personal are quick to dismiss it because it cannot be cured with a pill. They would rather call it something else and have a pill prescribed that they can convince themselves makes the child better. If the child has ODD no pill is going to change that. It takes years of consistent parenting to instill the moral compass that the child needs to overcome the bahavior that is causing a problem.

    in my humble opinion I would question the use of adderal also. Be aware also that adderal is misused by adolescents and is sold in schools and on playgrounds and crushed and snorted for a quick high. If that's what it does, is it any wonder what it does to our children who already have a difficult time controlling themselves?

  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Another one in agreement with MWM. I think a more thorough evaluation is needed.

    First and foremost, your son needs to be kept safe. It is good that you have a supportive husband; is there a way that you two can take turn keeping difficult child occupied (at least for a majority of the time) while all the kids are home? Is there another relative that can take the child for a few hors a week to give the rest of the family respite, at least until you get some answers?

    It is SO tiring. It is SO thankless. I do know, and I understand. Hang in there and keep posting as much as you need to.

    Gentle hugs.
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I forgot to add, even now my difficult child is in eleventh grade and most of the teachers love her. She is able to follow school rules enough to fly under the radar but once she gets home, look out.

  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I strongly believe that you need to rule out ALL medical (such as seizures), psychiatriatric (such as anxiety and depression) and developmental (such as Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)) disorders before settling on a diagnosis of ODD. There is far too much overlap of symptoms among childhood disorders, and the younger the child, the more difficult it is to sort out the diagnosis. It is very important to separate out the child with a disorder whose maladaptive coping mechanism is defiant behaviors and the child with a primary diagnosis of ODD.

    It is equally important to make sure you are dealing with true ADHD. According to a 2005 article in the New England Journal of Medicine, there are many conditions whose symptoms overlap with ADHD, including learning disorders, anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. For example, the symptoms of poor attention, fidgetiness, difficulty with transitions and physical reactivity to stimuli can appear in both anxiety and ADHD. The diagnostic dilemma is that anxiety may be a source of high activity and inattention, and it's difficult to sort out if the symptoms are emanating from an emotional reaction or from ADHD.

    The fact that your daughter is talking about wanting her brother to die makes me believe you're dealing with something other than ADHD/ODD. I concur with the other posters who are urging you to seek a re-evaluation, preferably with a neuropsychologist (found at children's and university teaching hospitals). Without a proper diagnosis, you won't be able to put the appropriate interventions into place to help your child.

    Good luck.