Apologu and update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Aug 20, 2009.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I am sorry for not being around as much as I should. As in the past, school is a chaotic disaster.

    Yesterday, I planted my hiney in the room with difficult child and we had a great day. Left at 2. Meeting last night went well...til today.

    Good thing today...the doctor that did the second opinion said difficult child is likely severely dyslexic in addition to mood disorders. But thinks his primary issue at school is the learning disability. He has had language evaluations before that show nothing, yet everyone that works with him has noticed oddities in his language. New SpEd teacher did some prelim testing today and sais she agrees with that diagnosis, except despite having extensive training, she's never worked with anyone that is as severely dyslexic as she thinks he is. She has no idea where to begin.

    They brought in one para for the am. She's good. A mom of a 19 yuear old difficult child, knows the ropes, been a para for several years. Spent the first day following me and asking questions...seems to get it.

    Left the meeting last night with a plan...We were going to try afternoons, I was going to come in and work with him to transition him into it and make sure it would work, etc. Increasing SpEd hours, time in classroom was to be spent keeping him approriate in the classroom, and A number 1 priority is avoid the frustration that causes the behaviors.

    As in the past, it was blown by 1pm today. They brought in FOUR afternoon paras and told me to go home. I said no, i told difficult child I was going to be with him, i was staying. The third para was one that he was with a lot last year...the better of the 2 he had last year, but he stil had a lot of issues with her. She'd been with him an hour when math started. Gave him 3 problems, he got stuck on the third. I gave him manipulatives and she told me the "he can do this, and if I am going to be his para, you need to leave." I left the room and FOUR MINUTES LATER, she came out dragging him, kicking and screaming. Took him to SpEd room, called new SpEd teacher, she went in, they spent 20 minutes, kicking and screaming at both of them. Then they told me to take him home. In the meantime, 2 people went by dragging a FIVE YEAR OLD who was yelling "NO!" and shut him in the closet. Screaming.

    I took wee difficult child to a friend's house and asked them to watch him and went straight to sped director. That was NOT the plan, and I will NOT tolerate that this year. If the best they can provide is people who are going to push him to a meltdown, then he won't be there. It is there job to figure it out, I can do it, so I know it can be done, SpEd teacher had no trouble with him, etc...but I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT AGAIN THIS YEAR.


    She called a meeting with Sped teacher and paras. I have not heard back yet.

    The bad part is, everytime difficult child has been asked what he's excited about or nervous about this new school year, he's excited about being a good second grader. Nervous about being a bad one. Its on his mind non-stop.

    As we left today, he was screaming "I don't want to be a bad boy".

    I'm almost ill.

    SO anyway, I apologize for my absence...and appreciate the good thoughts. Will update as I can.
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2009
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Shari, please don't apologize about your absence here. You're doing your number one job, that of being a warrior mom to your number one difficult child. That's what you need to be spending your time on, period.

    And I might add, you're doing an excellent job. I'm proud of you. Keep up the good work!
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Your difficult child pushed into a kicking and screaming fit in four minutes? People dragging a screaming 5 year old and then locking him in a supply closet??? Honey, JMHO but I would forget meeting with the Sped director and go right to the media. If I remember right, this school doesn't seem to have any idea how to deal with NORMAL kids, let alone difficult children. There is something definately wrong here and they need to be called out on the carpet for it.

    Sending hugs and good vibes that things work out for the best.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I agree that something's not right. Being a sub (for 14 years), I've been in a lot of schools, and I have NEVER seen a child being dragged to another room by two people.

    Sending you lots of strength to help you get through, and hugs for difficult child. Tell him Auntie Mary says he's a good boy even if the school doesn't recognize it.
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Thanks guys. I'm about ill. I know the next steps. I desperately do not want to take them. Either I quit my job, or he leaves this district forever. And neither is a good option.

    'Stang, I contacted our county caseworker about the room. There have been some "improvements" made to it this summer (mats hung along the wall) and I want to be certain that there was not a window added in the door or cameras or anything that would make it valid before I make that next move. I will try to check that inconspicuously tomorrow.

    It just makes me physically ill. It was one thing to do it to difficult child, because I know first hand how bad he can be...tho it was overused an abused and they WILL NOT put him in there again. EVER. PERIOD.

    But its totally another to continue the tradition with a 5 year old on the SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL. Oh I wish I knew who that little boy was.

    And to top it off, severl staff came by as he was locked in that room and asked the secretary "that difficult child in there?"
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is appalling! I would go to the Special Education director and the superintendent. If nothing happens as a result I would be sure, as Stang said, to tell them you will be going straight to the media!

    I'm so sorry for poor difficult child. Hugs to you both.
  7. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Poor difficult child, so focused on his behavior and wanting to do well. I hope things improve and soon.

  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh I just want to go put my boot up someone's donkey!!! I would be looking into pressing abuse charges and getting the other boy's family to help start a class action lawsuit against the school!!1

    This is CHILD ABUSE.


    Go to the sped dir, superintendent and the school board. AND the media.

    This is just wrong.

    If a parent were to put a child into a closet we would be charged with child abuse.

    Please tell wee difficult child that he is a GOOD BOY NO MATTER WHAT THOSE SCHOOL FOOLS TELL HIM!!

    Auntie Susie has a magic ball that lets her see all sorts of stuff going on. Tell him I can see that he was doing the best he can and the "adults" are the bad ones, NOT HIM.

    My heart is just breaking for all the kids in this school district. Cause you KNOW that these are not the only 2 kids being treated this way!