Time for an update. My last post here I was complaining that my son wasn't getting random drug testing from the programs he is in. I finally let that go (thanks to alanon.) I realized it was my way of holding onto control that I just don't have anymore. Well that and someone told me I don't need a test to tell me. I can just look at his behaviors. And that's so true! There are so many red flags. Lets see.... 1. Posting pics in the middle of the night looking higher than a kite. 2. Not taking his mood stabilizer. (I know because he has yet to ask for a refill on it.) 3. No longer attending counseling. He only went twice since getting out of treatment. 4. Not remembering whole conversations. 5. Calling one night talking a million miles a minute about a hundred different things. (He's normally very quiet, prefers to text) 6. Still no sponsor So imagine my suprise when he calls me Fri and admits to relapse. Just as my gut predicted. Only im pretty certain he's only giving me 1/10th the story. Especially since he contines to hang out with the people he relapsed with. (Seen on social media) He has no real plan to turn it around. Hes just gonna stop. (Hear my sarcasm?) **Sigh** I'm so proud of myself for keeping my cool and responding very calm. I think difficult child was taken back by that. Of course inside, it's all I can do to not project. I just keep imagining getting another call in the middle of the night with him on a ventilator.... ***Huge sigh*** I'm just so tired. I know you all can relate. Thanks for letting me get it out.