As if I don't have enough to take care of...(a 1broom gripe)

[Shari]

This is our regular weekend to have easy child 2; we normally pick her up on Friday for a week. Months ago, we made arrangements with her mother (aka 1broom) to not pick her up until Monday this weekend. This weekend is our adults-only outing, the one weekend a year that we don't have any kids.
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We also made arrangements for easy child 2 to go on vacation with us later in the summer; she will be with us for 2 weekends then.
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1broom worked it out with us, but I am supposed to "send reminders, cause she'll probably forget".
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So, in addition to making arrangments to be gone, I have a note in my planner to remind 1broom. I just sent the reminder, and while I'm doing it, I'm am thinking about all the effort that goes into us getting rid of 1 child for 4 days. I have to coordinate with my mom and ex-mother in law to keep wee difficult child; ex-mother in law is also keeping wee difficult child's horse (she's fed several times a day); someone to come do other chores; easy child 1 to lock up the house and turn the thermostat up before he leaves for the weekend, etc.
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And I am thinking, "how does she remember NOT to plan one of her adult only trips on this weekend?" Oh that's right, she just dumps easy child and everything else on her mom when she doesn't want her....silly me.
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And 1broom is without children every other weekend all year long, anyway.
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Why it is my job to remind this woman that her child will be with her this weekend is beyond me. I did it, but man...41 years old and not taking care of your own....talk about your difficult child's....
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She doesn't even take care of her own pets. And oh yeah, did I mention she's laid off again for the summer???

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Sending hugs. Some people just aren't able to be responsible. It is not in them to do it. Then there are some of us that really are. I have no actual words of wisdom on this just kow Iunderstand. These are the people that I wonder how they remember to get up in the morning sometimes.

beth

 

[AnnieO]

These are the people that I wonder how they remember to get up in the morning sometimes.

Sometimes, they don't remember to get up. husband can be like this... Sigh.

Shari, it is her responsibility to remember it. If she doesn't remember, why should you have to cover her rear? Don't send her any more reminders!

Does someone remind her about the pets?

 

[Shari]

Does someone remind her about the pets?

No, her mom (easy child's grandma) takes care of them, too.

 

[Hound dog]

Shari

Don't remind her. That's her problem. She never has to *think* for herself because just by refusing to do so she has everyone else doing it for her.

So......stop.

Not your responsibility. Not your responsibility if she forgets you and husband wll be going away for a weekend together. She wants to drop easy child off that weekend......tell her sorry, told you we had plans, you might want to mark it down next time, see ya.

Only way this sort learns. I know, I've been married to one for 26 yrs.

Hugs

 

[AnnieO]

Argh! If grandma has been doing for her, then of course it's a learned behavior. She needs to unlearn it. Now.

No more enabling, girl! You've put up with school stuff & difficult child carp. This should be cake!

Hugs. Lots of them.

 

[Shari]

I guess I shouldn't complain about punishment I bring onto myself, but I probably will continue giving her reminders, because its easy child 2 who pays if I don't.

Last year, some may recall, we'd made arrangements in January for easy child 2 to be able to go on vacation with us in July and 1broom forgot. She nearly didn't let easy child 2 go, and when we got back, she refused to let easy child come to our house for 3 weeks afterwards - because she had forgotten, we had kept easy child for 3 weekends in a row, so she kept easy child for 3 weekends in a row, then, of course, the next weekend wasn't "our" weekend, so it ended up being over a month.

 

[Hound dog]

(((hugs)))

Shari..........so it's a control issue. Got it. No, you're right, not fair to let easy child suffer for her mother's gfgness.

Wish I had some wisdom that would prevent easy child from suffering...........But I don't, cuz I'd do broom 1 just as I said above. Kids are smart. easy child knows this is her mother, not you guys.

Hang in there and enjoy your kidless weekend. You deserve the break and fun.

 

[Shari]

1broom hasn't responded to my reminder. I'm half hoping she doesn't check her email and wonders where we are for a while Friday evening, which is so wrong and mean...but hey, I did my duty.

easy child is seeing it and getting it...the school counselor called one afternoon this spring and told me to keep on keeping on, 'cause easy child is hearing me. She coudn't explain further; just to say despite her antics and her mom's carp, easy child is seeing thru it and is getting the "play nice" message I'm sending.

And really, I wouldn't mind sending the reminder if the woman made some sort of effort herself to actually take some responsibility for something. I ask people to remind me of things, too. Its not 'cause I won't make an attempt to remember for myself, tho...