As If I'm Not Cranky Enough About difficult child...Now This

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Apr 22, 2010.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Just got done talking to the lady at the school's attendance office--

    difficult child left school for a few hours in the morning yesterday. No idea where she went, what she did or with whom...

    And to top it off--

    The school will not be disciplining for this incident. It's up to me.


  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Okay. She left? Without being signed out by an adult? Just left?

    I can see why they won't, but they should be up for discipline, themselves. Letting a minor just walk out of school. No call to you at the time. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?

    If they have to get a permission slip to bus the kids to a special event, shouldn't there be something for the kid to LEAVE SCHOOL?

    Our school calls if we forget!!!

    I'd be wondering about this.

    And for you to have to discipline? ARGH! ...I'd just look difficult child in the eye and say... "Well, would you like to tell me where you were and be grounded, or would you like to NOT tell me where you were, be grounded AND... (insert whatever here)?"

    I know, grounding's mostly pointless with difficult children. Still.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Call a lawyer.
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I would remind them that *they* are liable for difficult child's safety while she is at school. If they permit her to leave school grounds, they're opening themselves up to a lot of liability. She is a minor child in their care.

    I would call principal and insist that they discipline her for this. Before you call, you might check out the district policy on going AWOL/truancy, and then insist that it's followed.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I agree- that is THEM allowing her to be truant- that is their responsibility to address whether or not you do anything additionally as a parent.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    They are supposed to act as "parents" while the child is at school (called in loco parentis). This means that it SHOULD be on their shoulders to handle her leaving school. They are also completely liable for whatever she did while not on school grounds because she was NOT signed out by a parent. She legally was their charge at that time.

    Get a lawyer if you can. Otherwise PUSH them to apply truancy/AWOL policies. Call the school board if you need to (I start with the Superintendent's secretary - they have the REAL power.).
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Well here's the ridiculous as it is:

    There were exams this week--but not every student had to take them. So they had a special schedule...students who had exams would take the exams. Students who did not have exams were supposed to be in study hall. They ALSO had the option to come in to school late, if their parents wanted to drop them off around 11am instead of the usual start time of 8am. If they came in late--they needed a note from a parent.

    The woman in the attendance office said most kids without exams arrived at school and then hooked up with friends and left--by the dozens. Then they tried sneaking back into school at 11 am. Over the course of the week, literally hundreds of abscences or "skips" were recorded. difficult child is one of them.

    I asked whether there would be any consequences? I was told no--there were just too many violators.

    in my humble opinion that is OUTRAGEOUS! How do you just let students leave school en masse ????

    I HATE that school. I am so glad we will be moving soon!
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I can see an 18-y/o or even hundreds being allowed to leave. They are, after all, technically adults.

    BUT A 14-Y/O?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Step...I got an ISS at 18 for going to McDonalds! I cant imagine what that school would have done to an entire gaggle of kids leaving...shudder!
  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O my high school teachers, coaches, and a few safety patrols always kept an eye out. If you tried to sneak on or off campus, odds were pretty good that you'd get busted.

    And that was BEFORE computerized attendance.

    So why can't schools keep track of kids now?
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    So the school didn't do its job properly, it was slack and just let these kids wander in and out - and they expect PARENTS to do their dirty work?

    Who punishes the school?

    Sorry - not on. IN this instance, I wouldn't be applying any discipline for this, other than telling her, "you do realise you shouldn't have left the school, don't you? ANy other school would be really tough on you over this. Your next school will be."

    It is a really bad idea, and sets a nasty precedent, to punish at home for infractions at school. Even this one.

    Besides, if the school was so slack that kids were leaving in droves, then the school was sending mixed messages and your kid should not be punished BY YOU for the school's inconsistencies.

    Yep. Get a lawyer.