Linda - hugs to you. Been thinking about you, wondering how things are in tweedle land.
I took a *very* brief stroll through MN regs re: vulnerable adults. Nothing jumped out at me in terms of if this would mandate a supervised living situation and/or other protections, nor did I see anything about what recourse the tweedles would have if they decided to fight it (though heaven knows, you have more than adequate documentation to substantiate the request).
I guess I'm just wondering if having them declared as VA would do anything in practical terms for them. When we considered guardianship of thank you, we ultimately decided against it because even with guardianship, he would still have the right of self-determination. We would not have been able to dictate safe housing, employment or vocational activities, supervision, nor tx - we would've just gotten the phone calls when things hit the fan, and been responsible for his finances. No thank you. And in looking at supervised living situations for him, it was solely dependent on his cooperation and compliance. If he didn't want to be there, *they* certainly didn't want him there and wouldn't force the issue. And no one in the system gave a darn where he went if he wasn't there. Not their problem.
The thought of giving a state agency oversight of my kid makes me slightly nauseated. I don't trust 'em to do the right thing - takes too much time and money. But... the flip side of the coin is either continued parental involvement (again, no thank you) or letting them sink or swim, which makes me as ill as state oversight. I don't know, hon... it's a real dilemma.
I think probably you should go for it - my only concern would be for you. What do you see as the benefits of VA status for the kids, and are those realistic expectations? What happens when kt and wm say they don't need/want services? Are case managers truly actively involved, or do they only stay involved with- clients who bother to show up?
I guess I'm assuming that both kidlets, like thank you, are going to balk at "services" post 18. Does MN have programs that will actually protect the tweedles, whether they want it or not? Will MN be proactive to prevent situations, or do they operate more reactively?
Blech... see-sawing here, but only because I'm to the point of why bother applying for state services/statuses if they don't actually exist in practical terms. on the other hand... even if MN operates on a client-driven basis (tweedles would have to show up for services), it might be worthwhile to do so that there's documentation that these are truly vulnerable adults should they ever come into contact with- the system (again, assuming that both kids are going to refuse help at least initially).
Or maybe, on the bright side (uncharacteristic of me as it is
), MN actually *would* supervise the kids, make sure that they are in safe housing and are getting vocational training or whatever is appropriate, in which case there's no question in my mind - you should have them declared VA.
Age 18 is a bear. So hard to know what is the right course, especially since our kids are lagging so far behind typical 18-year-olds. Will real-life experience knock some sense into them, or are they never going to get it?
As always, follow your gut. It's done an outstanding job thus far.
Many many hugs to you.