Just found this site, and seems, after a little reading I may get some great suggetions here....ok some background....I am 30 yrs old with 1 biological son and two stepsons, the ages 5 (stepson), 8 (biological), and 12 (stepson). My stepsons mother abandoned them about 3 yrs ago, my ex and i have a good relationship and he goes to see his dad every other weekend. Well the oldest was recently diagnosed with severe ODD (he is on medications for ADD), and we just dont know what else to do! He has his good days and bad days, bless his heart, he is such an awesome kid, but I dont know what to do! We have gone thru counseling, together and separate, but nothing seems to help! He is cruel and physically menacing/hurtful to the two younger boys then turns around and wants a hug. We get calls from school almost every day about a fight, but the last one was escalated....a kid shoved him, he didnt hit him back, bided his time and jumped him two days later, then when I asked him about it he flat out denied anything happened, then completely refused to do his homework, so he was told to go to his room and flat out refused to go. I am a small woman (100 lbs, though i am trained in akido and juvenile restraint, worked in a youth facility for awhile), he weighs almost the same as i do, and though i would never get physical with any kid, how in the world do i make him understand that when i tell him things like that that it is not a suggestion, i am not asking, he does not have a choice......there are so many issues here, i dont want to sound like an idiot, his psychiatrist suggested a group home, i hate to think it will come to that, i feel like we are giving up, but i truly dont know what else to do, we have tried all of the regimens, read all of the books, and it seems things are only getting worse, especially now that he refuses to take his medications............ ok needed to vent, it seems so unfair, he manages to make everything revolve around him in one way or the other, and there are two other kids here that need attention and love too, i hate for them to feel like they are being punished because he tries to create havoc what do we do?