I started bawling at a collections agency person. I've just been pushed to my limit and that was the one more thing that set me off bawling. husband and I are fighting over how to parent difficult child 1. It started last night. It was 10:30 pm. difficult child 1 had been in bed since 8:30 pm but was saying he was to scared to go to sleep. He is afraid of monsters and has nightmares almost everynight. I wanted difficult child 1 to come and sleep on the floor of our bedroom. He has done this before and it doesn't mean that he wants to do it the next night. But, husband was playing a computer game in our bedroom. husband says his response didn't have anything to do with the game, but I think otherwise. I think he didn't want to turn it off, and he feels guilty about this. husband said last night that he needs time away from difficult child 1. So, last night I slept in a reclining chair in difficult child 1's room. I think I went to sleep before difficult child 1 did. He also woke me up saying he was scared of the monsters. Then about 1:30 easy child woke up screaming and woke the other 2 up. Then difficult child 2 woke up at 3:00am. It wasn't a nice night in the chair. This morning husband is saying that my attachment to difficult child 1 and difficult child 1's attachment to me is too strong and unhealthy. That difficult child 1 is controling me and he isn't really scared. husband thinks this because there are times difficult child 1 uses "I'm scared" to try to get out of things and says it and then is very happy about something else. Then husband starts comparing difficult child 1 to serial rapeists! Saying that because our attachment is to strong and their have been rapists with unhealthy attachments thatgfg1 is in danger of being one. I was shocked and livid. I think that husband is jealous or something not right is going on in that mans head. I think it is cruel to leave difficult child 1 alone when he is so scared. husband is going to e-mail the therapist. So now I have to explain all this to therapist in an e-mail because I'm not going to talk about it in front of difficult child 1. Hopefully therapist will back me up. How funny therapist has ex calling him saying I don't love difficult child 1 and therapist has husband e-mialing him saying I love him to much. Then he leaves for work and difficult child 1 poops his pants. He has been sick since last Thursday, and this was going to be his first day back. I call the school explain why he is going to be late and that this might be a reaction to the medications and I'm going to send him some clothes and to school. Then difficult child 2 has a diagnostic test with the autism specialist. I cried on the way there. But I held myself together during the testing. She told me which test it was, but I've forgotten the name of it. She was sure that difficult child 2 is autistic, but didn't want to do the testing she normally does until he was 30 months. Now he is 30 months and she did the testing. He didn't say a word the whole test. He did sign some (again and more). He did do some eye contact. He looked at me twice and the tester a few times. She was looking to see if difficult child 2 would show me any of the new toys. The only time he came to me was when she scared him with one of the toys. She didn't mean to scare him. He did share a treat with easy child; which shocked everyone because easy child 2 years olds wouldn't be expected to do that. He obsessed about 2 toys and didn't want to play with the other toys until she hid those 2. easy child was great during this test. Then I come home and try to sort out a billing mess. I found out last week that an account I thought I had closed 1 1/2 years ago wasn't closed. The company isn't budging at all. There is no proof either way. I'm going to pay the bill and call the better business burea to complain. Anyway that was when I start bawling to a collections agent. Sorry this is so long. Mostly its to vent and try to compose myself before I takle the rest of the day.