BIP Suggestions for de-escalation

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by PorcupineWhisperer, Mar 25, 2009.

  1. PorcupineWhisperer

    PorcupineWhisperer New Member

    We will be meeting to modify difficult children behavior intervention plan tomorrow due to continued outbursts at school (no aggression just raging, arguing and non-compliance). The unfortunate thing is that a lot of the behaviors are his response to the school' classroom management 'system'. difficult child will get a consequence let's say for talking with out permission, then he will get upset about the consequence and of course this leads to another consequence. In a pretty short time he is raging and things have gotten to the point where they have removed the other students from the room several times this year due to his being upset. Up until this point they have continued this lose/lose process all year. The funny thing is, that in middle school last year they had the same system, but the staff was much more skilled in using it and very responsive to my suggestions on how help difficult child function, follow the rules and be successful. High school is a totally different story.

    If anyone has any good BIP/IEP suggestions, please share! :) difficult child is currently in a self contained, high school classroom due to issues related to bipolar type behaviors.
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2009
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PW...this is the problem that eventually got my son "removed" from school permanently. My son liked to argue back. They said black, he said white, and it was on. Eventually he called his PE teacher a cracker and he was suspended indefinitely and he never went back. Odd thing was that both he and his teacher were both white...sigh. I almost died when I heard what he was suspended for. I was not nice but my son had used much worse words in his school Much much worse...sigh.
  3. PorcupineWhisperer

    PorcupineWhisperer New Member

    DJ - Unfortunately this is what his mom is concerned about. She's afraid that things will get to a point where he will be suspended or sent to alternative school.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Erethizon drosatum!!!!! (said in a hush)

    How are you!? BIP/IEP works - ONLY if the teachers in the classroom UNDERSTAND it. That was our biggest hurdle/problem and eventually downfall.

    Everyone hears the words IEP/BIP like it's the miracle drug for the classroom. Teachers show up, counselors show up, sometimes parents, assistant principals are there - and you get quite a show. What I found out over the years was the the show of numbers wasn't because of concern for my sons education, it was a show of force to my son to let him know that NOW several adults would be watching him.

    See? Thats THE problem. Everyone is watching - but no one is reacting effectively. They're all too happy to watch our kids like hawks and drag out the "HE DID WRONG" notebook, send a note home to Mom or give the kid an embarassing consequence in front of the entire class. This, like Janet said simply leads to more arguing.

    I think if I had to do the school scene all over again? I would ask that only persons who were versed to deal with emotionally disturbed children be allowed at these meetings. It's like being in a teaching hospital and having a boil lanced off your bum, when there is a knock at the door and 15 1st year medication students on tour just walk in and gawk at you and your posterior - while you're trying to maintain some dignity. Kids feel about the same way when all these people just show up to get educated about the IEP process. In hindsite - there should be classess and workshops for teachers/principals and staff that have no clue about how to conduct and IEP, how to set short term goals, WHY short term consequences work and huge hefty ones do not.

    It was almost like everyone in the school misrepresented themselves about knowing what an E.D. kid was - set rules in place that were just too high of a goal to obtain, didn't revisit those goals when they were not met soon enough and like I said - had the red pen at the ready to lurch on our kids. What I know about schools now? NOT everyone was qualified to teach my son or even be near him in a school setting.

    With that said - things that did help were readjusting the goals to an attainable level, reassessing the consequences to MUCH shorter sentences, and getting him an out. Some teachers tried clothes pins, some jewels, some cheerios (that was just dumb these kids will eat) - and then one teacher who really WAS a teacher - sat down with Dude and me and we devised a SILENT signal that told him he was going to get a consequence. She would come by his table, stand there never missing a beat and just tap her finger lightly in front of him. IF he calmed down within 30 seconds - she'd walk away. If he did NOT? She walked to the front of the class and NEVER SAYING A WORD....put a check under his name. He could see the checks - and NO ONE had to hear her shriek his name or embarass him. At the end of the morning before lunch if there were only 2 check marks - there was no punishment. If there were 3? He stayed in from lunch becasue it was obvious he couldn't handle the stimulus of the lunch room and recess.

    The second part of the day? Same thing - If he got 3 checks in the afternoon? Then he had ISS. If he did NOT? Then he got to pick a prize and again - everyone at the end of the day got a piece of candy - tootsie roll, butterscotch disk - EVERYONE no matter HOW badly behaved got candy. BUT if there were not 3 marks in the afternoon - we set up a list of things that Dude could get as his prize for that day.....and he got to choose. Letter home to Mom saying he did well, Letter to the principal saying he did well, batteries for his CD player, stickers.....junk like that.
    I have every single LETTER HOME TO MOM......

    ---the teacher I'm speaking about was a nun......retired and went on to teach school - this was 10th grade, Dude got ALL A's that year....had the teacher the following year done the same? Dude would probably be in highschool and walking Pomp and circumstance this Spring - NOT struggling to get a GED.

    Hope this helps
  5. PorcupineWhisperer

    PorcupineWhisperer New Member

    Star - As usual, you made a lot of good points. It really amazes me that often Special Education staff has the least understanding of behvaior. There is so much focus on the 'crime and punishment' model that they forget how much progress you can make by just building a good relationship with the students.

    Follow up :

    We had our meeting yesterday and all the apporpriate things were said by all the appropriate people. One thing I woill give this school/ district credit for is that will allow me to contribute (practically write ) difficult child's behavior plan (within reason of course. Here are the suggestions that I presented and they seem to have been received favorable. We'll see how it goes.

    1. Shift emphasis from punitive process to de-escalation and support

    a. Staff will (as opposed to waiting for difficult child to) initiate positive de-escalation techniques before implementing consequences.
    b. Staff will initiate a positive de-escalation intervention technique between consequences.
    c. Staff will work to establish a non punitive relationship with difficult child when he has behavioral difficulty. Staff will approach situations focused on understanding the situation and working towards a mutually acceptable solution.
    d. Staff will acknowledge when difficult child is able to resolve a conflict in a positive way and when he is able to accept redirection without the use of consequences.
    e. Have support person (AP, counselor etc) touch base with difficult child when things are going well to see if there are any concerns and to continue to build the relationship. This is also an ideal time to acknowledge the positive behaviors that are occurring.
    f. If one classroom staff person is unable to resolve a situation or if a crisis situation takes place, a staff member that is not involved in the conflict should attempt to engage difficult child in a dialogue about the incident (not necessarily correcting his interpretation of events) but more allowing him to vent. If difficult child is able to walk with that staff person away from the conflict that might be helpful. Also if difficult child can be in an environment where he can pace until he is calm that would be helpful as well.
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    As an after thought? I advocated for the SD to PAY for an entire day shadow. He was a bad fit. Dude can be a jealous person and figured that this man would only show interest in him. When he began to speak to the other kids in the class about sports it set a divide between him and the shadow - Dude hates sports. So that wasn't helpful.

    This man also was supposed to SEE a boiling pot and take it off the stove. He liked doing that - but when they got outside instead of talking Dude down from boiling - this man used it as an opportunity to make calls on his cell phone. By the time we got around to getting him replaced? The school year had almost ended - BUT the teacher invited him back but as ANOTHER kids student shadow - WHAT a slap in the face. 8th grade stunk for Dude. And oddly enough when the man was someone elses shadow he didn't talk to Dude like he did the other kids when he was Dude's shadow.

    My point in all this is - make sure if you get your kids a shadow that their personalities and interests match because sending someone that the kids don't click with? Cause more harm than good.

    BUT - the out I spoke about for Dude? When it got SO bad in class that he couldn't take the noise et al? He was allowed to grab the hall pass and be escorted out of the class. We went from 5 times a day - which was WAY more than we KNEW he needed - but he took advantage of them and it's what we wanted because when he went to 3 times a day? (Which is what he could do to begin with) HE WAS PRAISED lavishly for his accomplishment in getting it under 3 times a day. He thought he outsmarted us - we KNEW we outsmarted him - but the point remains - he got the love. lol. Some days that's just all they need - a little love and understanding. Other days? You have to wonder if human possession occurs.

    Take care - sounds like you have it well in hand.
  7. PorcupineWhisperer

    PorcupineWhisperer New Member

    Star - I do like the point about the shadow. We did 'float' the idea of difficult child being outside the self contained classroom sometime soon. While we didn't talk about a shadow (which is a good idea), the staff pointed out that if difficult child went into a regular class, he would then be subject to the consequences of regular ed students (ISS, tickets, suspension etc).Definitely a tough call.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    WHY oh WHY schools INSIST on putting our difficult child's in mainstream education when it is clear that most can't even hold themselves together is beyond me. I suspect they feel peer pressure is the motivator for our kids to just behave better. Well if you could? You would. When you can't? You act out in regular classes DESPITE the peer pressure and now you've just added layers upon layers of embarassment to an already emotional cripple and social outcast. Gosh (clap clap) bravo all knowing school (loosely called) support staff. UGH. - Cant' tell I'm jaded can you? :faint:

    We did that - it was a TOTAL and UTTER catastrophe. So we revisited the IEP and some genius came up with "lets just allow him to take extra cirricular activities." art, band, choir, etc. Well that was TOO much stimulus. Art was not a draw what you want environment and those teachers in mainstream have far less abilities and experience with ED kids - so it's like water and dirt.

    Eventually all it got us was iss, and detention and OSS and made out to be even MORE of a social outcast. Kids started to point, snicker....and you know they go home and tell their parents so at any school functions we were ostracized. Or as Dude would tell you Ostric-sized complete with head under the ground.

    You can ALSO - ask for if necessary a 1/2 day home school teacher. If you can find someone that is retired Sped? Grab her/him. Dude would get taught at home, then we did 1/2 days at home and 1/2 days at school, then 1/2 days at home and full days at school. BUT it didn't come easy, and not without a lot of "Well we've tried your way and they were not successful."

    Just make sure that every thing you do, where ever he may go is accredited and he is getting his Carnegy units to graduate - THAT is what got Dude in GED now. Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s and group homes are not accredited.

    Hope this helps.
  9. PorcupineWhisperer

    PorcupineWhisperer New Member

    Star - Thanks for the insight. It's nice to get a view of the road from someone who has already walked the path. For now, things are good. difficult child has been VERY stable lately since we added Tenex and a morning energy drink to his Depakote and Seroquel.The energy drink really helped with his irritability in the mornings and has helped him have overall better days. Fingers crossed that we won't have to use any of the interventions I suggested. :)
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think a big part of it is cost. Full inclusion is less expensive. For many Special Education. students I think inclusion is a good thing. For some though it isn't and yet sds (or at least mine) insist on them.

    WP-The bip sounds much better with the changes you made. We've been lucky with my difficult child's bip as well, they really take what we say into consideration (except for the year they totally didn't follow his bip).
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    PW - The above is NOT true. He maintains all his special education protections regardless of placement. They can only suspend him for a max of 10 days without a manifestation hearing -- that is true if he is in a self-contained room or a reg ed room.
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    kt was just transferred from a Special Education self contained room in a high school setting (drop from level 5 to level 3, I believe) to day treatment. kt was doing so well in day treatment everyone felt it was time to take the next step; SD refused to listen to our therapist's opinion, our mental health case manager nor our very involved CADI manager.

    It turned into a disaster as SD pushed kt out of self contained into mainstream for an art course. There she met a young man who saw kt coming & well, let's just say there was an illegal act performed on my ktbug with 5 of the other well behaved mainstreamed gentlemen watching or helping.

    Needless to say that along with husband's recent death pushed kt back into day treatment & soon back to inpatient (as soon as a bed opens).

    Mainstream isn't the answer for many of our children. AND once our children hit high school, the staff in Special Education do demand some accountability out of our kids. They are too close to the "real world". SDs are working on either mainstream or transition plans to other settings. Not much in behaviorial intervention.

    PW, I give you & that SD, but mostly difficult child, if this is pulled off.

    in my humble opinion, if our difficult children cannot or will not be a part of the treatment team, for whatever reason, we may as well be whistling Dixie & hope something good happens. kt is more a part of her treatment plan than wm ~ she's operating at 10 yrs of age if we're lucky; wm at around 3 or 4.

    I'm concerned when a SD doesn't recognize developmental age appropriate behaviors versus chronological age appropriate. It's a huge difference that must be addressed.

    I hope this works for your young difficult child ~ he's come a long way.
  13. PorcupineWhisperer

    PorcupineWhisperer New Member

    JJJ - True they can only suspend him for 10 days, but think of it this way - he's being raised by a single mom who has to work. If he is even suspended for 1 day, she would have to take off work since child care for difficult child is kind of tough to find. Also if he was to get a ticket for disruptive behavior, mom would have to pay the fine. Right now, he is protected from these consequences because all behavior issues are handled by the self contained classroom's level system.

    TL - Sorry to hear about kt's experience in the mainstream class - that sounds truly awful. I do think you're 100 % right in that developmental age definitely needs to be factored in. While difficult child is 15, emotionally I'd say he was closer to 10 - 11 on a good day :).

    difficult child really has worked hard and come a long way. He is finally on a good medication combo and after 2 years of intensive therapy, he is really turning into a very likable young man. He's not the predator he once was (although shadows of the sociopath remain). Hopefully his progress forward will continue.

    By the way, sorry to hear about the loss of your husband.
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2009