Caught easy child......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JKF, Apr 16, 2014.

  1. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Ok - so last night I caught my 13 yo easy child watching some kind of weird anime cartoon porn on his tablet! Apparently a while ago difficult child told him to watch it and explained to him how to bypass the parental controls. easy child admitted he's been doing this December. OMG!!!

    Surprisingly I reacted in a calm way. I didn't freak out. I simply took the tablet at that time and told easy child it was time to shower and head to bed. We discussed it a bit today. I told him it's ok and natural to be curious but it's not ok to be deceptive and watch porn in our home. My husband will have a more detailed "man to man" talk with him later but I feel like I got my point across in a nonjudgmental, yet firm way.

    Have any of you dealt with this kind of thing? Any advice? What is the best parental control app for an Android tablet? I want to know everything he's looking at and be able to block things he shouldn't be seeing.

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  2. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    I think this is a common thing for parents to have to deal with these days. Well done for keeping calm and reacting in a non-judgmental but firm way. It's so sad that teenage boys have access to this stuff and think it's 'normal' sex, what a shame to grow up thinking this. It's a concern that difficult child instigated this. It would make me wonder how else he has been influencing his younger brother. 13 is a difficult age anyway though, and schoolfriends are often a source of dodgy influence and misinformation. I hope his father is able to have a good man-to-man talk later. My first husband was hopeless at anything like that. My daughter's not allowed the i-pad in a room on her own, she has to be with us if she's using it. It's not just porn, it's all the social media sites and all the online bullying that goes on. There's so much, it seems impossible to police it properly as parents. There are some apps that help parents control what is being accessed, such as this one:
    I would google android parental controls and see which is most suitable for you.
  3. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Thank you Lucy! It really took a lot of self control to remain calm. I'm not a prude by any means and I'm pretty easy going and have a good sense of humor but seeing that on his tablet shocked me! OMG!

    My husband talked with him and it went well. easy child told him he was curious and remembered the website from when difficult child lived here so he looked it up. He also said his friends at school are starting to talk about that kind of stuff. Ugggh!

    Fortunately difficult child no longer lives here at home (he's 3000 miles away) but it's obvious I need to limit and monitor all interaction between them. It's sad bc they are brothers and I know easy child misses him but I refuse to allow difficult child to influence him in negative ways. difficult child is almost 20 and if he wants to watch that stuff he can but I don't want him encouraging his younger brother to do so as well.

    We now have a new rule that all electronics will be used downstairs only and I also installed an app called Kids Place. It allows me total control over what he sees. I allowed Facebook but I've denied access to internet, YouTube, and Google Play for the time being. He can only access the apps I've approved and needs a PIN to make any changes.

    Boy do I need a drink after this week! And to think - it's only Wednesday!!! lol

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  4. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    This time I'd let it pass. Next time, if there is a next time, I would take the tablet, tell him he is too immature to use it yet, and keep it for a long, long time then maybe try it again under your watchful eye. He has to learn not to listen to other kids, be it difficult child or bad peers or he could get into a lot of trouble. Kids who are followers tend to get into more trouble than leaders. It's a good time to teach him a valuable lesson.He needs to learn to say "no."