checking in after a long time gone

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lmf64, Apr 7, 2008.

  1. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    Some of you may remember me. I remember many of you and your kids. This was the first place I found after my son was originally dxd with odd. He's 14 now and in full blown puberty. So far he's still alive, but some days I wonder if he'll make it another hour. Last week I was summoned to another meeting at the school to deal with his outright refusal to do anything while he's there. This year hasn't been a good year for us. We were evicted from our house two weeks before school started, spent months in motels and transitional housing before finding an apartment only to have that burned down around us by the upstairs difficult child's a month ago and have since been in a motel and now my parents home temporarily while we wait for a new place to be ready. He skipped school for the first time last fall (a total of 10 days in the first semester), was suspended for three days (out of school) for being violent, has been sent home numerous times because of his behaviour, was given in school suspension a few times (a day or remainder of a day in a cubicle) and now tells the teacher "I'll save you the trouble I'm going to a cubicle." without even touching his school work or even being told to do anything. But all in all he's doing okay. I put him back into therapy a little over a month ago (just before the fire) and he's now doing talk therapy instead of play therapy. We took him off the abilify a while back (about a year or so ago) and he's lost some of the weight it caused him to gain and he's still controllable, rarely violent and only mildly obstinant (with me that is, school is a completely different story) most of the time.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome back Lisa.:welcomehome:

    Wow. Sounds like a very stressful year! I'm sure it hasn't done anything to help difficult child behaviors. I hope you can get settled into your own place soon.

  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hi Lisa and welcome back. Sorry to hear of the problems with your living arrangements. It can't help difficult child with all the upheaval nor you.
    I know about teens not wanting to do school work. Kids like ours don't see the point. No suggestions from me. I still haven't figured out how to motivate difficult child to succeed. Good luck.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    glad you found your way back! Sounds like things have been tough lately. Glad you can talk to those of us who understand!

  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    If you made it through the past year, you can make it through anything! Sorry to hear about your sons's school problems but it is great that he is not violent and doing okay with you. Do you think he would do anymore school work in a homebound educational setting once you get settled? Does he have an iep? Will rewards have any impact on completing his work?

    Good luck and welcome back!
  6. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    Thank you all for responding.
    If I knew what would help to make him more compliant in school, you can bet I'd suggest it.
    If we were to put him on homebound I'd have to quit my job to work with him. He's in 8th grade but still only reads at about a 1st grade level, so telling him here's your school work I'll see you in 8 hours wouldn't work.
    Yes things have been tough, but we can make it.
    Your son is who I hope my son can grow into.
    I'd settle for sleeping in separate rooms right now. lol
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hi Lisa,

    WELL - regardless of how things are going there - you know you have come back to a great group of people who'll support you and help you stay relatively sane.

    I see where your son was on Depakote. My son was on that when he was 12 and he blew up like a balloon in a few short weeks. How long has your son been off of that? I think it's the only time I've seen my son beefy - he's usually a willow. Tall and lankey.

    Sorry things are so tough for you right now -venting is a great way to find your inner Mommie.

  8. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    I don't remember how long he was on depakote, he's been off it for a few years now. He gained very little weight while he was on it though. He ballooned right after he started taking abilify. The weight gain was tough (he went through 6 complete sizes in 9 months) on the abilify, but he became more easily dealt with on it. I could trust him to go out on his own and not worry about who he fought with or what he did while he was out of my eyesight. Taking him off the abilify was a really rough decision to make, but even off of it he's still pretty well behaved.