hearts and roses
Mind Reader
"We're keeping veeerrryyyy it simple this year" - my words for the past 10 years. Mainly due to the not knowing how difficult child will behave before, on, during, and following Christmas day. I found that the more emphasis I put on 'The Day", the more she flipped out. I will forever recall the Christmas when exh called me to tell me that she was flipping out and he didn't know what to do. "Draw a bath and stick her in with some toys" was my answer. "We're at my sisters for the holiday", he responded. "Okay then, deal with it - your choice.". He drew the bath and called me 15 minutes later to say thank you.
When I was a kid I spent most Christmas evenings in the hospital ER with wicked bad asthma. I don't know if it was from all the family drama, the smoking of everyone, the excitement or a true allergic reaction. It didn't seem to matter which house I was in, whether in PA at my oldest sister's or at home, but I always ended up in the ER. Then, when I was 15, I begged my mom to leave me home with my brother, who was supposed to watch me like a hawk. He went out drinking and so I was all alone with my boyfriend watching Christmas movies. Hmmm, no asthma - not once while the fam was away. Will wonders never cease? I learned a lot that Christmas.
I don't think kids mind not getting their most wished for toy or CD for Christmas. I don't think they mind eating a simple meal either. I think that what they mind is being treated differently and awkwardly. I think they hate being told to 'behave' in a manner that is unnatural for them while on the inside they are really trying to get their funk on. Heck as kids my sisters and I always got, without fail, the same gifts every year - a homemade flannel nightgown, socks, a sweater, and a board game. And each of us got one thing that was ours alone, like a doll. That's it. Nothing else, unless my brother decided to go hog wild on Christmas Eve.
As much as I am disappointed in my difficult child's recent behavior and choices, I will still try to adhere to her wish list. She's going to receive most of the gifts on there and few of my choosing.
For me, Christmas is a time to be together, love one another and cherish the gift of life and re-birth. It's a time for hope and faith that newer, better times are coming. It's a time to just have fun and let the rest go. I am so psyched that my sister from WV and my brother from NY are coming up to my house this year! There won't be many gifts but there will be good food, laughter and love.
{{{Marcie}}} Thanks for sharing your story. My heart was breaking for you as I read through it. I'm glad you were able to take away a positive thing from it after all - to make your kids' Christmas something more memorable.
When I was a kid I spent most Christmas evenings in the hospital ER with wicked bad asthma. I don't know if it was from all the family drama, the smoking of everyone, the excitement or a true allergic reaction. It didn't seem to matter which house I was in, whether in PA at my oldest sister's or at home, but I always ended up in the ER. Then, when I was 15, I begged my mom to leave me home with my brother, who was supposed to watch me like a hawk. He went out drinking and so I was all alone with my boyfriend watching Christmas movies. Hmmm, no asthma - not once while the fam was away. Will wonders never cease? I learned a lot that Christmas.
I don't think kids mind not getting their most wished for toy or CD for Christmas. I don't think they mind eating a simple meal either. I think that what they mind is being treated differently and awkwardly. I think they hate being told to 'behave' in a manner that is unnatural for them while on the inside they are really trying to get their funk on. Heck as kids my sisters and I always got, without fail, the same gifts every year - a homemade flannel nightgown, socks, a sweater, and a board game. And each of us got one thing that was ours alone, like a doll. That's it. Nothing else, unless my brother decided to go hog wild on Christmas Eve.
As much as I am disappointed in my difficult child's recent behavior and choices, I will still try to adhere to her wish list. She's going to receive most of the gifts on there and few of my choosing.
For me, Christmas is a time to be together, love one another and cherish the gift of life and re-birth. It's a time for hope and faith that newer, better times are coming. It's a time to just have fun and let the rest go. I am so psyched that my sister from WV and my brother from NY are coming up to my house this year! There won't be many gifts but there will be good food, laughter and love.
{{{Marcie}}} Thanks for sharing your story. My heart was breaking for you as I read through it. I'm glad you were able to take away a positive thing from it after all - to make your kids' Christmas something more memorable.