I am quite confused about how to have difficult child interact with the family. His behavior still gives me the occasional panic attack, though he really has changed. He is gentle and protective with his sibs and with me. He has SOOOOO many more privileges than the other 2 kids. HD TV, tons of cable channels (we have and antenna and get about 6 stations), trips with my parents, classes at the art center, and so on. We cannot afford to pay for classes for the other two. He also gets to walk around alone for hours. He doesn't understand the limits I set for him to walk with his sister. I don't think they need to walk to a store 5 miles away. She is just 12 and he is just 15. If husband and I set up a family event, now we are getting lots of pressure from my mom and dad to take difficult child. My mom is really starting to pile on the guilt for difficult child "not having a family any more". I did tell her a few weeks ago that difficult child CHOSE not to have a family or however she wants to put it. difficult child literally beat his way out of our home. He lives with my parents at my parents choice. I just wanted to be safe in my own home. Do I just try to ignore the pressure, or explain as gently as possible that he is not part of our core family, by his choice, and this means that he doesn't get to do everything we do?