Cops just left

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by zoo_keeper, Sep 15, 2012.

  1. zoo_keeper

    zoo_keeper Member

    Accused difficult child of breaking into the next door neighbor’s garage, stealing power tools & beer from their fridge last night! I am in disbelief! He DID NOT do this. I know for a FACT he was asleep in his bed. This is the last straw in a long running feud with these neighbors.
    Some necessary background:
    Last spring my husband took a new, higher paying job and my family moved cross country. We bought a home in a neighborhood that was a big step up for us. Had I known the underlying culture of the place, we wouldn’t have approached it with a ten foot pole! Snobbish to the umpteenth degree. I could rant for hours…The really short version:
    Our next door neighbors have had a problem with us since day one as we are a large, loud difficult child family. Its actually progressed to them making complaints to the home owners association (he happens to be vice president, how convenient!). Our kids cutting through their yard to get to the park that is next to them, the ‘eyesore’ of our construction/remodel project, etc. Really, really superficial, ‘nose-in-the-air’, mean spirited type things.
    Last May difficult child 1 was cited for trespassing and vandalism when a rage resulted in property damage to both our place and their front yard. It got real ugly, difficult child was hospitalized. She knew about difficult child’s issues. I tried damage control telling her we don’t take this lightly, I would write a check and suggest difficult child work off the damage for her or if she wasn’t comfortable I would see to it he would volunteer for a set number of hours elsewhere. She insisted on involving the police stating “Someone needs to control your children!” After that she vilified difficult child 1 and our family far and wide.
    We went through the whole court process where the damage was accessed as $113. Court ordered juv mental health assessment as well as a county case worker to ‘supervise’ difficult child (basically their form of juvenile probation). Case worker has helped get difficult child some great services and right now he is doing great, better than at any point in the last two years. Also in August, 8 yo easy child’s hit a baseball through her window (freak accident! Why me?!?). She felt the need to involve the police then too.

    Fast forward to today: I answered the door to two officers who told me what happened. Originally I thought they were informing me to see if we were broken into as well but to accuse difficult child?!? Said that she said that she know difficult child did it! Due to that family's standing shes taken seriously not to mention difficult children past. He does not have the capability or the inclination to pull this off. Very emotionally immature. Asked where difficult child was last night and I told them I gave him nighttime medications at 9:30pm and he was sleeping by 11p. I am 6mo pregnant and woke up to potty and checked on him at 4am. Asked difficult child and he told them he went to bed at midnight and woke up at 8a. I informed the officers about our families history and difficult children mental illness. They asked to search the property for the tools and I told them no I would not let this women's grude against my 13yo mentally ill child harm my family any further. Said on monday the case will be turned over to the detective and not to allow difficult child to leave the house until we hear from his caseworker he is the prime suspect! I am freaking out but trying to hide it as difficult child's anxiety is in overdrive. Just barely stopped husband from storming over there. I have a call into the lawyer we used last time and also his therapist and caseworker but its saturday. What do I do? We cannot move. Our life savings and every piece of equity we have is sunk into this property.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, hon. :hugs:

    Harassment by cop... Yup, been there done that, different situation, but - !!! Ugh.

    I wish I had answers for you. I don't... But I am here to listen.

    Now, you KNOW he was asleep. But... Take a look over the property anyway. because if you've had that many problems, the stuff might just be on your property, Know what I mean??!
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Ditto, Step. Sending supportive hugs. DDD
  4. zoo_keeper

    zoo_keeper Member

    Thank you both. It feels great to have a judgement free place to go when it feels like my life is crumbling. husband did a complete outside search and I searched inside we found nothing either extra or missing. Half expected the offficers to return with a search warrant but nothing yet.

    difficult child has either been alternating between non-stop chattering or else being mopey/teary all day. Very clingy. Much better response to stress than in the past. How many more hits to his self worth can this kid take? My worst fear is that this will destabilize him his mental state is fragile.

    It was a beautiful day today. Had to keep the kids inside so they don't give the neighbors an excuse to drum up more drama. I cannot take anymore. I'm just outraged. All we are trying to do is raise our family. Everytime it seems like we dig ourselves up from some issue we get slammed back down by a worse one. :groan:

    Thanks again - Jen
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Ugh!! I'm really sorry this is happening to you and to difficult child. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you.
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Can you put up a really tall fence? My parents used blackberry bushes once. 6 ft. tall blackberry bushes 3-4 ft. thick. You shouldn't have to keep your kids inside because of these awful people. I've had to do that before and its miserable.

    Just a thought: All they have is that person's insistence that it's difficult child. They have no proof. That fact and a good lawyer should square things away.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry too. We also had a similar thing happen but instead of a cop we had the homeowner with a gun arrive at our door. Guess its just a little rougher out here in the

    I am glad you searched your property because whoever has the stuff may just try to plant it back on your son. Especially if they think they are gonna get caught. Not the beer of course. That smacks of teens. Older teens. If you have any security system with camera's outside, make sure they are recording. Otherwise I would make sure you keep your outbuildings locked up tight. Its so hard to prove a negative.

    The only way we were able to prove the my son didnt do what he was accused of was that the guy had a video and while it looked like Cory it also looked like another kid who was shorter than my son and that is who it turned out to be. The rumor was that the items were in the woods and they were found on the woods closer to the other kids house than our house.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Considered that the police and detectives have YET to charge the mom who pawned my rings after she got them from difficult child when we have PROOF since difficult child confessed, and she left msgs on our answering machine, I just don't see how this episode could continue, legally. The office did not charge your son. She also did not have a search warrant.
    I hope that is the end of the story.
    I wish you had more money to hire a lawyer ... then again ... maybe you don't need one to swear out a complaint against the neighbors for harrassment. Hmm. It depends upon how much energy you want to devote to this.
    I am so sorry for all that you are going through.
    What does difficult child think about it?