Could use some support

Kathy813

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I have nothing to add to what the others have said and said so well but I wanted to give you a hug.

{{{hug}}}

~Kathy
 

elizabrary

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry you're going through this and I know how you are feeling. My difficult child had a baby with her abuser. Shortly after the baby was born she left him. I did everything I could to support her during that time and helped mulitple times with police reports. When I found out she was back in contact with him I told her she could not stay in my house and continue to have contact with him. She packed up the baby and left late at night in the snow walking. I felt like I would die, it was so scary and painful. I had very little contact with her over the next 6 months while she was still with him. I babysat and I bought things for the baby, but I never gave her anything that he could benefit from. I was terrified the entire time that he would hurt them or kill them. It was a living nightmare. I really had to learn to focus on myself and what I could control. I joined a support group through our local domestic violence shelter and that was more helpful than anything else I did.

She is away from him now, and has been for more than a year, but I still worry sometimes. The breaking point for her was when she left him again and met him so he could see the baby and he snatched the baby and ran off. After that she was done. All the talking in the world from me didn't help. There has to be something within themselves that finally clicks, and sometimes it never does. Try your hardest to let her know when she's ready to get out you will support her fully and be there for her. That alone is something that really helps a woman in an abusive relationship- just to know when she gets the courage to leave she has somewhere to go. I know it's hard not to be judgemental, but I really just had to not talk about it with my daughter. It only caused fights and made her more determined to prove me wrong about the jerk.

Do something nice for yourself, keep yourself BUSY and try to stay focused on you. I know how hard it is. I'm sending positive energy your way and to your daughter that she will find it within herself to get out.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
I am so sorry. I wish that there were more words that I can say that could do more to help. This is the stuff of some of our worst nightmares and I hope and pray that at some point she can figure out what a special, wonderful person she is.

Have you gone to the domestic violence center or at least called them to figure out how to help her and stay somewhat sane yourself? They may have some ways to help you get through to her or to keept he lines of communication open, but not so open that you are constantly hurt by her current situation.

You and SB and Lincoln are in my prayers and thoughts.
 
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