Crummy Saturday

[TerryJ2]

Well, after reading Marguerite's post I feel like a slacker.
We all have colds, and husband insisted I take Chris to Sylvan, (easy to say when he goes to work and I'm on my own). So Chris wakes up late, wets the bed, is very cranky, refuses to get ready to go (he's wearing shorts and it's 30 degrees outside), finally makes it downstairs, throws his applesauce with-medications across the room... you get the idea.
I canceled Sylvan.
Chris' friend called, looking for a playmate, and I told Chris NO, You're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play!
Of course, he cried and said he felt better by that time.
He ate his new pill sprinkled on sherbert (my daughter bought that, insisting it has no milk in it... I obviously wasn't along on that shopping trip...) and he cleaned up the applesauce. Now I have to get him to wash the urine-soaked comforter and write 10X, "I'm sorry I threw the applesauce."
husband is going to be upset when he finds out we stayed home but quite frankly, I don't think it's fair to have a kid coughing in your face and spreading germs when you're trying to teach.
I have to run errands and I know difficult child won't stay in his room while I'm gone... I'm wondering what to bribe him with. My daughter is not good about getting him to mind. I have a friend who bribes both kids with-$... the older one gets $2 for watching the younger kid and the younger kid gets $1 for behaving.
Not real life but it keeps the house from getting trashed... :warrior:

 

[Fran]

I'm not adverse to paying daughter for babysitting(although technically it's part of family contribution).
I'm not too sure about the cash for behavior. Maybe something less monetary. A friend visit for an hour or something special with mom.
We all try to look for something that works to make the day less of a pressure cooker for ourselves and our kids.

 

[KateM]

Hey, Terry,

Hope your day gets better!

We use the "when, then " method of ensuring improved behavior.ie --"After you do this(fill in the desired behavoir), then you can_________________ (play PS2, watch your DVD, etc)."

 

[Stella Johnson]

Whatever you do don't start bribing them with money and things to get good behavior. Find a better way. I was guilty of that. It started when difficult child was much younger. it was the biggest mistake I ever made.

difficult child begann to demand I buy her something or she wouldn't be good. It snow balled.

As far as paying a sibling to watch younger ones, I do agree with that. I only have one child but I wouldn't expect my oldest to watch the children I created. It's just like babysitting outside the home to me.

steph

 

[TerryJ2]

I gave my son time on my computer to play a video football game.
He fed the dogs, cleaned his room, stripped and made his bed, wrote "I'm sorry for throwing applesauce" 10X, took the dogs out, and read a couple of chapters in a book.
My daughter didn't get paid cash... she used a whole roll of film yesterday to shoot pics of the yard and creek, so I told her I'd pay for the film developing instead and she agreed. Yay!
Now my son wants to play with-a friend (remember, he was too sick this a.m. to go to class...) and he's pestering the heck out of me. He never, ever gives up. We keep telling him he's going to be a lobbyist or a lawyer!

 

[DammitJanet]

Well it sounds like you worked out a wonderful compromise. I would tell your son that if he recuperates today then maybe he can play tomorrow.

I used to agree on the bribing or paying for good behavior but now I am on the fence about it. We noticed a huge turn around in my sons behavior when he was able to go to work and earn his own money. I really wonder if I could have paid him to behave better earlier on. Money is a huge motivator to him. If I could have given him a paycheck to go to school and do well he may have done it. I will never know.

 

[TerryJ2]

Arrrgh! husband told difficult child that he could go out to dinner with-a friend... but didn't ask me first. Grrr.
difficult child gave me a big hug b4 he left, was very contrite, told me he loved me, etc. He's always very contrite after a meltdown day, like an alcoholic.
I just wish husband was on the same page.

 

[Wiped Out]

Terry,
I'm sorry your day started out so rough. It does sound like you reached a good compromise. It doesn't happen often at my house where husband and I forget to check with each other but I hate it when it happens. Hope your night is a good one!

 

[Marguerite]

Terry, it's good when bad days can be at least partly recovered, like this. At the end of the day I think you made some progress with him. And that's what counts.

Sorry I made you feel a slacker - I think difficult child 3 worked as hard as he did because the work was easy - week 1 for the year. This coming week is going to be much tougher.

Getting urine out of sheets etc - splash them with vinegar before washing. Great for sweat stains and smells, too. I also add a few drops of essential oil (eucalyptus, rosemary or lavender) to the rinse water. The combination of vinegar plus oils kills any smell!

Marg

 

[TerryJ2]

Thanks, Marg. I'd put that off because it's a brand new, beautiful feather comforter (and he shouldn't have been using it anyway) and it said "spot clean," which seemed like too much of a hassle for him. Usually he cleans his own bed linens.
At any rate, I like the combo vinegar-eucalyptus idea.

Good luck with-difficult child 3!

Chris is supposed to gain back his computer privileges tomorrow but he's already upset because it's not 100% to his expectations, even though I've explained it numerous times. difficult child Chris keeps shouting "You said COMPUTER PRIVILEGES!" like shouting it is going to change anything. I told him we needed to define "privileges" again.
by the way, I had a friend build a computer from spare parts and the whole thing cost $50, incl. the table. (Originally the kids shared but Chris was so abusive of the privilege as well as food--ick!) I gave it to our daughter.
Clever friend gave me disk drives where you have to use a key to get into them, and also showed me how to disconnect the drives from the inside if need be, and friend told me to keep the mouse until D-Day. He's got good ideas!
D-Day has moved back and forth on the calendar but it seems that tomorrow will really come. I reminded difficult child that he earns privileges on this, not rights, and it's done our way or no way at all. (Not to mention that I'm going to have to remove the mouse every night or he'll sneak downstairs and use it!). He got mad and slammed his door.

by the way, a friend of difficult child got sent home from school Fri because he has "anger issues." difficult child talked about it just like an adult, which I thought was amusing... he is careful enough to only expose his own anger issues at home...

 

[Marguerite]

Have you gone through "The Explosive Child" yet? All this sounds so familiar...

Marg

 

[TerryJ2]

I have but I'm taking it with-me to the vet to re-read in the waiting room. Thank you!