Good morning!
So after my meeting with the Vice Principal at my son's school--and hearing her advice about giving myself permission to detach--here is what I can admit today.
difficult child is not doing her homework....nor is she completing all if her in-class assignments...AND she is lying about it.
If I would like her to get good grades--I know that can go to the school, have a meeting with each one of her teachers, arrange to have copies of all homework assignments emailed to me, arrange to pick up incomplete classwork/homework and stand over difficult child while she completes all of her work. This whole thing will, of course, take up a lot of time and effort on my part.
difficult child will be angry at me for taking charge...she will call me all sorts of nasty names...she will not appreciate my efforts, nor will she show me any respect during this process...and I will be treated as though I am the meanest Mom on the planet.
Meanwhile, difficult child will earn good grades and appear to be a wonderful, responsible student and the teachers will wonder why I am making such a big deal out of always checking up on her work.
And I will feel resentful and unappreciated....
Therefore--I am going to detach....and I am going to let difficult child suffer the consequences of her own actions....I will let her fail English (if it comes to that).
And then, she can only be mad at herself....
--DaisyF
So after my meeting with the Vice Principal at my son's school--and hearing her advice about giving myself permission to detach--here is what I can admit today.
difficult child is not doing her homework....nor is she completing all if her in-class assignments...AND she is lying about it.
If I would like her to get good grades--I know that can go to the school, have a meeting with each one of her teachers, arrange to have copies of all homework assignments emailed to me, arrange to pick up incomplete classwork/homework and stand over difficult child while she completes all of her work. This whole thing will, of course, take up a lot of time and effort on my part.
difficult child will be angry at me for taking charge...she will call me all sorts of nasty names...she will not appreciate my efforts, nor will she show me any respect during this process...and I will be treated as though I am the meanest Mom on the planet.
Meanwhile, difficult child will earn good grades and appear to be a wonderful, responsible student and the teachers will wonder why I am making such a big deal out of always checking up on her work.
And I will feel resentful and unappreciated....
Therefore--I am going to detach....and I am going to let difficult child suffer the consequences of her own actions....I will let her fail English (if it comes to that).
And then, she can only be mad at herself....
--DaisyF