Detachment and Guilt

[okie girl]

Thank you so very much COM. I need reassurance especially today. I love him so much but I feel like if I have contact with him, he will try to manipulate me and put a guilt trip on me. Thank you again for taking time out of your day to respond. (((Hugs)))

 

[AppleCori]

Good morning, Okie.

So, today is the day he goes before the judge.

Is it a sentencing or some preliminary hearing?

Hang tough,Okie. We are thinking of you today.

Apple

 

[New Leaf]

Aloha,
Hang in there Okie, you got this.....my thoughts and prayers are with you.
(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[okie girl]

Thank you leafy and apple for your support. Today was the second preliminary hearing. He will have another one on January 21st. I am not familiar with the legal system and how many hearings he will have. I appreciate you hanging with me.

 

[Carri]

I love your post, Childofmine. It's exactly what I needed to read this morning before heading off to work. I always find wisdom in what you write. Thank you for sharing with us. Carri

 

[Childofmine]

Good Morning, Okie Girl,

This is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. I pray God will intervene.

I agree. This is the hardest stuff in the entire world. I have lost a sibling and it wasn't this hard (although it sure was hard). I have gone through an ugly divorce and it wasn't this hard (although it was really hard).

My son's "six year reign" of self-destruction was simply terrible and it seemed never to end. It just went on and on and on with new things to shock me and hurt me. But it really wasn't about me or aimed at me.

It was an addict doing what addicts do.

I don't know why these things happen or why people are on paths like many of our DCs. I do know there is redemption for us, even if they never change. There is a better way of living which many people never discover (this, according to the theologian Richard Rohr who talks about the "second half of life") because they never have to.

We, through this pain, have had to come to terms with so many things, most of all ourselves. That is a gift. I started seeing that even before my son took a better path some 18 months ago. I started seeing myself become a better person, "refined by fire."

I know today that I can do nothing on my own. I must turn to my Higher Power again and again and again, a million times a day, to let go. That is the only way for me to live.

God or Your Higher Power (whatever that looks like for you, even if it's a group of supportive people) is intervening. Right now and right here. This is clearly the journey our DCs have chosen to walk.

I just pray that something good comes from all of it, and I believe it will, in time.

One day at a time. One minute at a time. Hang in there. We're here.

 

[okie girl]

I love your post, Childofmine. It's exactly what I needed to read this morning before heading off to work. I always find wisdom in what you write. Thank you for sharing with us. Carri[/QUOTE

Good Morning, Okie Girl,



I agree. This is the hardest stuff in the entire world. I have lost a sibling and it wasn't this hard (although it sure was hard). I have gone through an ugly divorce and it wasn't this hard (although it was really hard).

My son's "six year reign" of self-destruction was simply terrible and it seemed never to end. It just went on and on and on with new things to shock me and hurt me. But it really wasn't about me or aimed at me.

It was an addict doing what addicts do.

I don't know why these things happen or why people are on paths like many of our DCs. I do know there is redemption for us, even if they never change. There is a better way of living which many people never discover (this, according to the theologian Richard Rohr who talks about the "second half of life") because they never have to.

We, through this pain, have had to come to terms with so many things, most of all ourselves. That is a gift. I started seeing that even before my son took a better path some 18 months ago. I started seeing myself become a better person, "refined by fire."

I know today that I can do nothing on my own. I must turn to my Higher Power again and again and again, a million times a day, to let go. That is the only way for me to live.

God or Your Higher Power (whatever that looks like for you, even if it's a group of supportive people) is intervening. Right now and right here. This is clearly the journey our DCs have chosen to walk.

I just pray that something good comes from all of it, and I believe it will, in time.

One day at a time. One minute at a time. Hang in there. We're here.

 

[okie girl]

Good Morning, Okie Girl,



I agree. This is the hardest stuff in the entire world. I have lost a sibling and it wasn't this hard (although it sure was hard). I have gone through an ugly divorce and it wasn't this hard (although it was really hard).

My son's "six year reign" of self-destruction was simply terrible and it seemed never to end. It just went on and on and on with new things to shock me and hurt me. But it really wasn't about me or aimed at me.

It was an addict doing what addicts do.

I don't know why these things happen or why people are on paths like many of our DCs. I do know there is redemption for us, even if they never change. There is a better way of living which many people never discover (this, according to the theologian Richard Rohr who talks about the "second half of life") because they never have to.

We, through this pain, have had to come to terms with so many things, most of all ourselves. That is a gift. I started seeing that even before my son took a better path some 18 months ago. I started seeing myself become a better person, "refined by fire."

I know today that I can do nothing on my own. I must turn to my Higher Power again and again and again, a million times a day, to let go. That is the only way for me to live.

God or Your Higher Power (whatever that looks like for you, even if it's a group of supportive people) is intervening. Right now and right here. This is clearly the journey our DCs have chosen to walk.

I just pray that something good comes from all of it, and I believe it will, in time.

One day at a time. One minute at a time. Hang in there. We're here.

COM....you have a way of making me feel hopeful. I pray for my son every day. Sometimes I miss him so much I ache. Today, I called and put money in his canteen account. This is so very hard and the holidays make it even harder

 

[New Leaf]

I have had Achilles' tendon surgery and have been unable to walk. Hopefully when I go to the doctor today, he will let me start to put weight on it.

Hi Okie, just checking in to see how you are doing. How is your foot doing? Hope you are healing up well.

That was nice of you to gift your son, I am sure he appreciates your thoughtfulness.

Have a relaxing weekend.
peace to you

leafy

 

[okie girl]

Hi Okie, just checking in to see how you are doing. How is your foot doing? Hope you are healing up well.

That was nice of you to gift your son, I am sure he appreciates your thoughtfulness.

Have a relaxing weekend.
peace to you

leafy

Hi Leafy...feeling better today. I don't even know if my son knows about the deposit in his canteen account but maybe I can send him a birthday card when I am able to pick one up and tell him about the deposit. My doctor told me not to put any weight on my foot till Monday. Just taking one day at a time. Thanks again for checking in on me.