Diaper changing violence

[Dara]

I am at a complete loss here. I cant get his diaper changed. He thrashes and kicks and hits and screams. I have tried everything. We no longer change him in his room. That helped for a while. We would change him anywhere and everywhere that avoided a battle. That is now over. I just want to give him a clean diaper. This morning was so bad that I took him to school as is and they did it. I dont know what to do. I have tried games, singing, cuddling, being silly, I have tried it all. I cant pin him down because I cant get to his tush and it will make it worse for next time. Does anyone have any ideas because I am all out and I dont know how much longer this can continue.

 

[SRL]

Have tried distractions like changing while watching a video?

If you've tried everything else with no success, I might try something like giving him a few mini M&M's while changing him.

There could be some sensory things going on here that could make diaper changes a nightmare for a child. Putting on a new stiff cold diaper in place of a more worn warmer one. Exposing the bottom to cold air. Cold baby wipes. Diaper Rash Lotion, etc.

I had to change to warm washcloths with one of my kids for allergy reasons and used them on the next one because it was less traumatic on her.

 

[Dara]

I like the M&M mini idea i will definatly try that one. I too think it might be something that we cant grasp. His therapist says it has nothing to do with the diaper and everything to do with the battle. I can see that too because sammy loves a battle. He even has battles with himself. I will try the M&Ms the next diaper. THank you so much! I cant tell you how much I appreciate the ideas!

 

[SRL]

A lot of these types of battles I fought with difficult child as a toddler and young preschooler (foods and clothes especially) wound up having their roots in sensory problems and I sure wished I knew it earlier.

I used to rotate distractions like the M&M's.

 

[totoro]

Dara I forgot to mention the bribes as well!!! I love the M&M's as well!!! We use them alot... it is the one thing ( or any little candy treat like that) we bring on planes, doctor's. therapies etc..... I don't give them hardly any candy or junk food but this is our- bribe that works- because it is used sparingly!

We have used bubbles also, those little bubble necklaces, they also make the bubbles that don't pop and I would blow them on her and she would completely forget the battle, then I would let her blow a couple...

I am sorry but I have this hysterical picture of this little difficult child running through the house with a dirty diaper!!! And you frazzled... LOL ... been there done that,

 

[Just keep swimming]

Hi,

Another one here tired of the diaper battles, and mine is over 3 yo!! We just switched to pullups and as weird as that might seem, the battles have totally stopped. She just hated the lying there, having to "endure" a diaper change. So, as long as the pullup is just wet, I let her do it herself. She loves the freedom of doing it and I love the no battle! Stinky pullups are another thing, but I am strict with her and just say that until she is doing that in the toilet, she has to lie still so I can clean up the stinky. For some reason this is working.

Good luck!
Vickie

 

[Dara]

Thank you so much for the M&M idea! It worked for today. It made life so much easier in the diaper changing arena. I cant offer enough thanks for that!

 

[SRL]

Great!

You'll have to play around with this--some kids will like the same treat all the time while others will respond better with change. Small items they have to handle piece by piece will buy you more time (which is why I suggested the mini M&M's instead of full size). Something chewy or to suck on (Tic tacs) for older kids can buy you time as well.

I'm not big into candy for two year olds but desperate times call for desperate and often creative measures.

A comment about the battles--sometimes it appears as if they love a battle when the truth is they just don't know how to interact in any other mode for certain situations. A child who is confronted all day long with things that assault him in some way (foods, water temp, clothes textures, sounds, instructions, etc) has to be battle ready at all times to fight the ongoing assault.

 

[Dara]

I agree with the battle thing. ALlthough he does enjoy to scream. It is an old habit for him. He has been screaming since he first came home. In some cases I think it is a matter of old habits die hard. Sometimes while I am changing his diaper he is fine and it is almost like he suddenly remembers that he is supposed to be angry here. His anger towards me is the same thing. He was angry with me for playing with other kids for so long. It was thrown in his face everyday because we were right next door to each other. It seems like it is habit to be angry with me. I dont actually think that he knows why he is angry with me but with sammy who knows. The memories he holds onto always surprise us. We can go somewhere once and not go back for months or even a year and he remembers what we did there. I wish I had some device that translated that what goes on inside that little brain. I think I would be amazed.
Anyways, enough of my exhausted rambelings and thank you all so very much again!