difficult child 1 new favorite rebuttal

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TeDo, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    difficult child 1 never ceases to amaze me. I'm not sure where this one came from but it is ANNOYING. He threatened difficult child 2 the other day while I was gone (for all of 20 minutes). When he told difficult child 1 that he was going to tell me, difficult child 1 said "prove that I did it'. Yesterday, when he was being a ****, I informed him that I was going to pass this incident on to his CTSS worker. His response to me was "prove it". I politely reminded him that the worker would believe me because I have absolutely no reason to lie and walked away. Sometimes he is too smart for his own good. He knows it can't be "proven" but has the self-centered thinking that if we can't prove it, we won't be believed and therefore he has "gotten away with it". What would you do in a situation like this besides not "forewarning" him of "reporting" his behavior to anyone?
  2. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    you should inform him that only in a court of law does someone need proof beyond a reasonable doubt and that an eye witness account(like from you or difficult child 2) are a type of proof.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I think I would probably just come back with "difficult child 2 doesn't need to prove anything. *I* believe him."

    or maybe to "Prove that I did it" I would say "Prove that you didn't."

    Either way, he is just stonewalling...classic difficult child behavior. He would rather argue about whether or not a thing can be difinitively proven than discuss any of his flaws. I think the trick will be not to get sidetracked into his arguing. (I know - easier said than done).
  4. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    This is what I would say.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I would probably say something like, "I'm not Gloria Allred and this isn't a trial. I don't have to prove anything to you." And then walk away.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think it was SLSH who used some of Law and Order's lines. Maybe you could say things like "this is a civil matter and the evidence doesnt have to be beyond all reasonable doubt, only more likely than not. Your behavior leads me to believe it's more likely than not that you did...x y or z!" give him a civics lesson...lol. Another one of her famous lines is "asked and answered" for those endless questions.
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    "difficult child 1, what on Earth makes you think I don't have cameras and mics recording everything? It's a Big Brother world."
  8. keista

    keista New Member

    WHY? As in Why do I have to prove anything? Or my favorite that the kids hated when I started "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?" (Don't even know what that's from, just know it was a popular saying when I was young)
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Or even...

    to whom?

    YOU are the judge and jury in the home court. YOU do not have to prove it to yourself.
    HE has to convince YOU of his innocence... and he knows he already lost the case.

    But there is no superior court to appeal to!
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sigh. So typical of these kids.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Do our difficult children know each other? That is also my difficult child's new favorite rebuttal!
  12. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sharon, tooooo funny. Has it been on a TV program or something? If you figure out where it came from, let me know.

    Keista, that phrase would go TOTALLY over his head. He does NOT get that kind of thinking AT ALL.

    The rest of you, thanks for the feedback. I have tried the "prove that you didn't" and that just got broken record "prove that I did" with a s***-eating grin thinking he's got me. I have tried the "I don't have to prove anything" and that gets the same s***-eating grin for whatever reason and him repeating it again. I already exhausted the cameras & mikes idea a few weeks ago so it doesn't work anymore. I like the "court" scenarios. I might have to try those. Never thought of that. THAT is the kind of thing he would understand.
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    This hits home with us. Most of the time if difficult child 1 hurts a sib we can't prove it. There is just an awful feeling and a crying kid. We've learned to trust that feeling and now difficult child 1 is guilty until proven innocent. When he protests this he is told 'because of your past actions I don't believe you'. This last time when he tried to hit his 3 year old sister it was her word against his (at first). He protested that we would punish him with out "proof". Again he was told "because of your past actions I don't believe you. I believe her." Then it started to come out in bits and pieces that his sister was telling the truth.
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I remember trying that line as a kid. My parents proved they didn't HAVE to - I got chores for mouthing off. My mother used to ask us to "cite your source" meaning tell her where you got whatever story/piece of info that you were trying to peddle. Bad source? NOT a good thing.

    What does your difficult child not like? Long winded explanations of things? Give him one. Rattle off a 5 paragraph essay on how you, as a parent, do not have to prove anything. You have the right to believe or not believe anything your child says and you are the SOLE authority and judge and jury in your home - so if he continues to mouth off with that phrase he is going to regret it because he won't have X or Y or Z and there is NOTHING he can do about it because you don't HAVE to prove it and if he has a problem with it you can strip his room so he has nothing and he can spend all day every day in there until he can speak to you and the rest of the family with respect.

    NOT saying to do that, or say it if you won't, but you do NOT have to put up with that line. You can come up iwth ANY response you want, whether it makes sense or not, because your home is not a democracy or a courtroom. just because the country is a democracy doesn't mean your home is and just because things have to be proven in court doesn't mean you have to prove anythng but that you will follow through with anything you threaten (and you have to follow through because otherwise no kid would behave, kwm?)

    If he treasures ice cream, each time he says that you and the other kids get ice cream and he doesn't because he can't PROVE that he didn't do whatever and because he got mouthy.

    Wash his mouth out with soap if you want to give it a try.

    You can do ANYTHING other than what CPS would consider abuse and YOU don't need proof.

    But I would start demanding that HE come up with proof for anything he says/thinks he should have/claims to have done. Simply because he is challenging you to prove things. Make it bite him in the tushie, so to speak. Heck, I might let his siblings do things to mess with him and when he complains or goes off about it, make HIM prove it. And of course, because he claims YOUR word isn't enough then his word isn't CLOSE to enough. Know what I mean??