Marguerite
Active Member
We just got back from the hospital, after difficult child 3 had a small head wound tended to, plus a tetanus shot.
Every afternoon when he finishes his schoolwork, he likes to go for a walk in the neighbourhood. He does have occasional troubles with a group of local kids. They range in age from about 6 to about 10. We often see these kids around - they ride bikes & skateboards at the intersection, often getting in the way of traffic and hassling kids and some adults going past. They're also often still out when it's getting dark and harder to see these kids (around 5.30 - 6 pm). Remember, some of these kids are 6 years old. They wander around, no adult in sight, getting up to mischief. Their hangout is an intersection which almost everybody has to pass, to get to anywhere else in town.
A few months ago they were hassling difficult child 3 while he was riding his bike. The next day he was again riding near these kids and was going fast because he didn't want these kids to be able to stop him - and he rode right into a lady's car. Amazingly, he wasn't badly hurt. $800 worth of damage, though. And that's not counting the damage to his brand new bike.
Because it was only the FEAR that he would meet these kids, I didn't go to see their parents over this - they hadn't been involved directly in this incident. But I have also not fixed his bike yet.
Today difficult child 3 left for his walk. I stayed home because I'd just got in from having ultrasound done and was feeling exhausted and ill. He had his mobile phone with him and I was expecting him to drop in on his friend, whose birthday is in a few days' time.
At about 5 pm the phone rang. It was difficult child 3 but he couldn't hear me. He didn't seem to be talking on the phone, but in the background it sounded like a party - lots of kids yelling, shrieking, difficult child 3 occasionally saying a word here or there. Finally the phone went dead.
At 5.30 I was beginning to worry - he's generally very punctual. He came in and came straight to me, very upset. "They did it again!" he said. "Those kids were hassling me again, throwing things at me, wouldn't let me past them to come home."
I could see blood trickling down his neck. He knew his head was bleeding a little - he didn't know how much. He told me that his head had been damaged by "a log" that one of the boys threw at him. I asked him if he had done anything to the kids - he admitted to throwing a piece of the log back at them, after it broke against his head. I'm going out in the morning to find that "log".
I took photos immediately, then rang the police. I cleaned up the blood, called the police back and accepted their offer to call the ambulance as well. No doctor in town - a visit from the ambo was the best immediate first aid option. The ambo advised us to take him to hospital and get the wound stitched. difficult child 3 didn't want to go in the ambulance alone, but because it was late we would need a car to get back home - I had to drive. mother in law came too and I called husband to get him to meet us 'outside' instead of catching the boat home.
The police were late, so we could have let husband come home so we could drive back out with him. They took a statement (the ambo had taken details too, as well as his own photos) and asked us what we wanted them to do. "We just want this to stop," we told them. Turns out, because the likely offender is under 8 years old, no charges can be laid.
Add to this the classic autistic problem of recognising the bullies and putting names to the faces - it was difficult. difficult child 3 names a couple of possible kids as witnesses, but he said non of them threw the log. It was one of the smaller kids, he said.
Later as we were driving out, we saw the police car at one of the houses.
Then difficult child 3 was complaining about his hand and leg being sore - turned out he copped more than the log - they were throwing other sticks at him as well as banksia cones - a bit like unopened pine cones in the damage they can do. Only heavier.
easy child 2/difficult child 2 & boyfriend got home at about 10 pm. I just checked the phone - no voicemail messages from anybody.
We could get ostracised for this, among various social groups in the village. But as I said to husband, I really don't care - it's preferable to having to make more trips to the hospital for difficult child 3. I'm going to print out the photos I took and leave the printout by the front door, so if any of those parents comes round to say, "What a lot of fuss over boys just being boys," I'll have something to show them.
For kids to gang up this way on ANY kid is reprehensible. To do it to an autistic kid is like kicking a blind man's white cane away.
difficult child 3 is older and bigger. I strongly suspect they pick on him because in the past, kids have seen that they can get away with it - difficult child 3 is really bad at identifying his bullies, and kids in a gang can talk their way out of punishment if they all corroborate each other's stories. In the past local teachers have let this happen and followed the lie of least resistance, even to the point of telling difficult child 3 that his recollection of Jimmy and his friend deliberately tripping him up is faulty, because they all told the teacher that difficult child 3 just slipped over. And the other witness backing up difficult child 3 - clearly must be lying, because two kids telling one story, and six kids telling another - who do you believe? Personally, I believe the ones who are NOT noted for bullying other kids. But the teachers always convinced me to let the matters drop. It got to the point where difficult child 3 would tell me about other kids hassling him and I would say, "What did you do?" because ANY self-defence, or any hint that difficult child 3 could have begun this, and we had no leg to stand on regarding taking action.
husband is now saying that difficult child 3 may not go for his afternoon walks on his own any more. He must be shadowed. We had to do this two years ago when a bully bloodied difficult child 3's nose in an unprovoked attack. THAT kid is now turned around, he has actually helped rescue difficult child 3 from this new gang of tiny tot bullies. I think part of what turned it around was because I went round to his house and talked to him and his mother, basically saying I was not going to stand for this ever again. He was caught out and word got around his age group that difficult child 3 is off limits.
I'm still trying to decide just how much of a fuss to make of this - local paper? District newspaper? State TV? Or just local word of mouth, "Do not touch my kid ever again, I am watching and will get you if you do."
Currently in Sydney the hot topic is irresponsible kids throwing rocks at passing traffic on the freeway. It's the 10th anniversary of the death of a man killed this way while driving his truck. And a young woman is in hospital with severe head injuries because of a similar incident a few weeks ago. The perpetrator was 25. I've been almost killed by a rock thrown at the car - and we didn't tell the police because we didn't want to bother them.
From now on, we're bothering them. They were surprised tonight when I said we had not made any previous complaints.
Marg
Every afternoon when he finishes his schoolwork, he likes to go for a walk in the neighbourhood. He does have occasional troubles with a group of local kids. They range in age from about 6 to about 10. We often see these kids around - they ride bikes & skateboards at the intersection, often getting in the way of traffic and hassling kids and some adults going past. They're also often still out when it's getting dark and harder to see these kids (around 5.30 - 6 pm). Remember, some of these kids are 6 years old. They wander around, no adult in sight, getting up to mischief. Their hangout is an intersection which almost everybody has to pass, to get to anywhere else in town.
A few months ago they were hassling difficult child 3 while he was riding his bike. The next day he was again riding near these kids and was going fast because he didn't want these kids to be able to stop him - and he rode right into a lady's car. Amazingly, he wasn't badly hurt. $800 worth of damage, though. And that's not counting the damage to his brand new bike.
Because it was only the FEAR that he would meet these kids, I didn't go to see their parents over this - they hadn't been involved directly in this incident. But I have also not fixed his bike yet.
Today difficult child 3 left for his walk. I stayed home because I'd just got in from having ultrasound done and was feeling exhausted and ill. He had his mobile phone with him and I was expecting him to drop in on his friend, whose birthday is in a few days' time.
At about 5 pm the phone rang. It was difficult child 3 but he couldn't hear me. He didn't seem to be talking on the phone, but in the background it sounded like a party - lots of kids yelling, shrieking, difficult child 3 occasionally saying a word here or there. Finally the phone went dead.
At 5.30 I was beginning to worry - he's generally very punctual. He came in and came straight to me, very upset. "They did it again!" he said. "Those kids were hassling me again, throwing things at me, wouldn't let me past them to come home."
I could see blood trickling down his neck. He knew his head was bleeding a little - he didn't know how much. He told me that his head had been damaged by "a log" that one of the boys threw at him. I asked him if he had done anything to the kids - he admitted to throwing a piece of the log back at them, after it broke against his head. I'm going out in the morning to find that "log".
I took photos immediately, then rang the police. I cleaned up the blood, called the police back and accepted their offer to call the ambulance as well. No doctor in town - a visit from the ambo was the best immediate first aid option. The ambo advised us to take him to hospital and get the wound stitched. difficult child 3 didn't want to go in the ambulance alone, but because it was late we would need a car to get back home - I had to drive. mother in law came too and I called husband to get him to meet us 'outside' instead of catching the boat home.
The police were late, so we could have let husband come home so we could drive back out with him. They took a statement (the ambo had taken details too, as well as his own photos) and asked us what we wanted them to do. "We just want this to stop," we told them. Turns out, because the likely offender is under 8 years old, no charges can be laid.
Add to this the classic autistic problem of recognising the bullies and putting names to the faces - it was difficult. difficult child 3 names a couple of possible kids as witnesses, but he said non of them threw the log. It was one of the smaller kids, he said.
Later as we were driving out, we saw the police car at one of the houses.
Then difficult child 3 was complaining about his hand and leg being sore - turned out he copped more than the log - they were throwing other sticks at him as well as banksia cones - a bit like unopened pine cones in the damage they can do. Only heavier.
easy child 2/difficult child 2 & boyfriend got home at about 10 pm. I just checked the phone - no voicemail messages from anybody.
We could get ostracised for this, among various social groups in the village. But as I said to husband, I really don't care - it's preferable to having to make more trips to the hospital for difficult child 3. I'm going to print out the photos I took and leave the printout by the front door, so if any of those parents comes round to say, "What a lot of fuss over boys just being boys," I'll have something to show them.
For kids to gang up this way on ANY kid is reprehensible. To do it to an autistic kid is like kicking a blind man's white cane away.
difficult child 3 is older and bigger. I strongly suspect they pick on him because in the past, kids have seen that they can get away with it - difficult child 3 is really bad at identifying his bullies, and kids in a gang can talk their way out of punishment if they all corroborate each other's stories. In the past local teachers have let this happen and followed the lie of least resistance, even to the point of telling difficult child 3 that his recollection of Jimmy and his friend deliberately tripping him up is faulty, because they all told the teacher that difficult child 3 just slipped over. And the other witness backing up difficult child 3 - clearly must be lying, because two kids telling one story, and six kids telling another - who do you believe? Personally, I believe the ones who are NOT noted for bullying other kids. But the teachers always convinced me to let the matters drop. It got to the point where difficult child 3 would tell me about other kids hassling him and I would say, "What did you do?" because ANY self-defence, or any hint that difficult child 3 could have begun this, and we had no leg to stand on regarding taking action.
husband is now saying that difficult child 3 may not go for his afternoon walks on his own any more. He must be shadowed. We had to do this two years ago when a bully bloodied difficult child 3's nose in an unprovoked attack. THAT kid is now turned around, he has actually helped rescue difficult child 3 from this new gang of tiny tot bullies. I think part of what turned it around was because I went round to his house and talked to him and his mother, basically saying I was not going to stand for this ever again. He was caught out and word got around his age group that difficult child 3 is off limits.
I'm still trying to decide just how much of a fuss to make of this - local paper? District newspaper? State TV? Or just local word of mouth, "Do not touch my kid ever again, I am watching and will get you if you do."
Currently in Sydney the hot topic is irresponsible kids throwing rocks at passing traffic on the freeway. It's the 10th anniversary of the death of a man killed this way while driving his truck. And a young woman is in hospital with severe head injuries because of a similar incident a few weeks ago. The perpetrator was 25. I've been almost killed by a rock thrown at the car - and we didn't tell the police because we didn't want to bother them.
From now on, we're bothering them. They were surprised tonight when I said we had not made any previous complaints.
Marg