difficult child and scammers

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, Jan 31, 2013.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Here is a good example of how difficult child just doesn't think like we do.

    The car she is driving is ten years old. We bought it for easy child when she turned 16 and then passed down to difficult child who trashed it in a matter of months. It has had so many parts replaced and has dents all over it, including a smashed front headlight which I'm surprised has not gotten her a ticket. We decided not to put any more money in it because it's just throwing it away, the car is about to die. It needs new struts and we were given estimates anywhere form $1200 at an auto repair shop to $500 from a friend who would do it on the side and just charge for parts. We decided not to do it and just let the car die.

    So difficult child calls me last night and says she is at her friend's (male of course) and he just got new struts on his car at this shop and it only cost $100. I told her that was impossible and how did she think they were going to do it that cheap if the parts themselves cost more than that. Of course she had no idea but swore it was true. I asked for the name of the shop, nonexistent in the phone book. I explained that they were either stealing the parts and installing them or they were a chop shop and tearing apart stolen cars for their parts or they weren't going to do the work but say they did and you would have no way of knowing.

    Now what makes this even more concerning is that just the other day when she brought all her paperwork over we discovered she overdrew her checking account because some guy she knew asked her to deposit a check for him in her account and withdraw $200 and she did it. She didn't look in the envelope and if she had she would have seen there was no check in it. She just deposited it and withdrew the cash and was left with an overdraft charge and out $200. We just had a long discussion about scams and how if it sounds too good to be true it is and that no one offers you money for nothing and yadda yadda.

    She is a prime candidate for every scam out there and just illustrates to us the need for her to get some life skills training because she doesn't have the common sense to question these things herself.
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2013
  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    My difficult child too. He really isn't grounded. And he is definitely not open to our input.

    (This is where I am reminded that I am so glad our finances are completely separate.)

    You know, some ppl have to learn life's lessons the hard way. I'm afraid our kids are in that lot.

  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    And the kicker is that anything Mom and Dad say is treated with suspicion...(ya know, we couldn't POSSIBLY know what we are talking about!)

    but some stranger? Oh well, whatever THEY say has GOT to be the truth!
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    That is 100% why we are taking guardianship of Eeyore. He is exactly the same.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Learning the hard way does work though for some people. The school of hard knocks is the only school that ever taught Cory anything. He seems to have graduated with honors.
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    My difficult child is the same way. Nothing ever seems "fishy" to him. He has been taken advantage so many times itblows my mind. -RM
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Yes, they are certainly vulnerable. Kids like Q? of course it is pretty obvious he would believe everything and needs guardianship but kids like difficult child are in such a place to fall through the cracks. Our society can do better. I wish the system was fixable.

    I wrote (and lost) a post in another thread about a boy my legal disablity advocate is working with who when 14 was suspended multiple times from a terrible sp ed school in the twin cities metro. He was borderline IQ, African American and placed there at the time for behavioral concerns related to his disabilities. They would suspend him and cut him loose. No one called to pick him up or anything.

    SO...he was prime for the gangs. they "befriended" him and had him hold guns and drugs while they committed robberies etc. and when they got caught he had all the stuff and they blamed him. He had NO ability to make plans like that. Legal aid has tried to help and now he turned 18. He had been convicted and was in juvie and the mom had been told he would go to her. They then declared him dangerous (he never hurt anyone, no one was hurt in any of the crimes) and he is now in a state mental hospital for good. His mom has been fighting but it does not look good. A throw away kid. It makes me sick.

    He just wanted friends and not to be alone. He was such an easy target.
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    That is so sad Buddy. The system stinks for these kids. They just throw the book at them & never think to find out if they are being set up as patseys. My difficult child has hurt people but nevertheless he is harshly punished compared to rapists and other felons. The system is just upset that he is not compliant with medications and psyc care. So they lock him up for long periods of time so he won't hurt anybody including himself. Then when he gets depressed and acts out they put him in solitary. This is someone with a couple suicide attempts. One while in prison...Solitary is not appropriate but that is what they do. Constantly trying to make an example out of him instead of finding a way to isolate him with out putting him in solitary. Here's to the good old USA, We punish our MI for being mentally ill. -RM
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Tonight on the news I saw a clip of a speaker advocating for people with MI. She said if someone has Cancer, we say get them treatment before it gets really bad or they die. She said, most people with MI hurt themselves or get hurt by others. YET, when they are diagnosis'd we say....well, when something really bad happens then we will see if we can help you.

    CRAZY world.