I was worried this afternoon, out of nowhere, CPS called me at work to let me know that our difficult child would not be having a visitation with her bio mother on Monday, but could not tell me why. In fact, then she also mentioned that it could possibly be quite some time before she got to see her bio mother...which mostly worried me. Due to confidentiality, she could not tell me ANYTHING, and I KNEW that telling my 12 year old that she was not seeing her mom and not being able to tell her why was NOT a good plan, so I went digging for info. I came to find out later, that mom was back in jail...yes...uh-oh. So, I proceeded to try to figure out why. She had drug court scheduled for today which is this neat accountability program Illinois has, where they have goals that they work out with the judge, they are given time to achieve those goals and excetra. She is in this program because she is on parole from prison which she was sentenced to for drug related issues. They took her into custody during her drug court review today, but there was no information as to why. All of this information is a matter of public record so the only trick is looking in the right place. Anywho, I knew that my difficult child was going to want to know what she did to get back in jail, so I tried to call her mom's SO. Apparently, another part of drug court is a mandatory drug test before the hearing. Which they say she failed. yes...uh-oh again. Anyway, we are trying to decide how to approach this with our difficult child and avoid a total meltdown, which we expected, simply because she is her mother's biggest fan, even after everything the woman has put her through. We didn't want to give her information that was going to set her off, but we also wanted to be completely honest with her. To my surprise, she took the news quite well, considering. However, I am worried that it is only because it hasn't quite sunk in yet...and I am afraid that when it does, it will explode. I know that several of you also have difficult child's that were placed with you by CPS, and I was wondering how many of your difficult child's still have a relationship with their bio parents, and how you would handle the situation if the bio parents did something this tragic that you would have to work through with your difficult child??? For those of you who have read some of my other posts, you will know that my husband and I got custody of our difficult child after bio mother was imprisoned and CPS removed her from her bio mother's home, and that although our difficult child is my husband's bio daughter, we are actually "foster parenting" her for the first 6 months she lives with us, at which time the judge will turn full custody of her back to us. We have tried so hard to be supportive of them continuing to have a relationship through their 2 hours of court ordered, supervised visitation per week...but if things like this keep happening, I am not so sure this is healthy for her. I mean, even though she no longer lives with her mother, them trying to continue to have a relationship means that every time she gets into more trouble, she is still managing to tear her daughter apart!!!!! (sorry, this part is just me venting that even losing her children wasn't motivation enough for this woman to straighten up her act!!!!!) I would think that something like that would at least make an impression, don't you think???? It would certainly make an impression on me!!!!