difficult child I refuses intake evaluation for treatment program while at JDC

amazeofgrace

A maze of Grace - that about sums it up
I am ever so frustrated, my difficult child I (he'll be 18 in less then a month) is in JDC for violating his probation, drug tests came back dirty for canibus. The court ordered he attend a residential drug abuse program for 45 days. The place interviewed him (no one told me or his case worker) and he told them he's not interested, so they're reporting back to the court that difficult child I refused their services. Ugh!!! If it's court ordered how can he refuse???:mad:
 
Good question!! It seems court ordered he cannot refuse treatment. He goes anyway! I hope that is what happens. It is much easier when he doesnt have a choice.
 

klmno

Active Member
AOG- This means he's being non-compliant and I doubt it will sit well with the judge. When they are trying to give hiim a chance to get rehab for drug use and he thunbs his nose at it, it's a pretty clear message that he has no intention of quitting if living in "the free world". It looks to me like he's going to have to learn his lessons the hardest way. But then, rehab can't really turn a person around if they don't want to change anyway.
 

amazeofgrace

A maze of Grace - that about sums it up
true this is x's problem although now x goes to rehab and is running the bible study and speaking a sharing like a pro, but the minute he leaves, he falls off the wagon.

difficult child I has court this Friday (his b-day) I am semi dreading it, but I am still feeling relieved he's not here.

sigh................
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
Keep strong. If he refuses their services there will be consequences. Sad to say, he may do some jail time. Apparently, he's still looking for that rock bottom to bounce back up from...
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Amaze -

That's too bad. Sending some supportive hugs for you for Friday. But keep in mind when he turns 18 - YOU go and get yourself something pretty. You made it!

He on the other hand may need some more judicial interference in his life. I guess he has not figured out that as long as he refuses help? There will always be people in charge of him and his life. Not much freedom for turning 18.

Hugs
Star
 

klmno

Active Member
The advice given is good advice, AOG. No offense to your son, but as someone who had to go thru He** and back to get into a good rehab with an excellent therapist, I'd rather see him not go and take the open spot if he isn't really trying to get help. At least he is honest in that sense and not just going to passify the judge. I'd reinforce that, I guess, so that maybe someday if he says he wants help, maybe he will really mean it. And, I really think that keeps people from being so codependent if they can just say "ok- if you change your mind, I will help you get help", then detach. Your reference to his father doing that kind of stuff- well maybe that's why your son is saying he doesn't want to go. Detach and let him do things his way- it's his only chance of realizing for himself that it won't make him happy in the long run. ((HUGS)) I know it's tough for you.
 
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